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Feeling like a spare part

Chat < Pregnancy & Birth Clubs < Pregnancy

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  • stripeymumdrum
    stripeymumdrum

    28/04/2013 at 23:07

    PM

    The last few weeks I've been doing four days a week at work and last week was working off-site in London so really long hours too. I feel like E doesn't want me anymore. She is always full of smiles for my mum in the morning, and completely indifferent to me when I collect her in the evening. On Saturday we were at mums and she was quite upset. Everytime I tried to soothe her she got more upset and clearly wanted my mum. She won't settle for me in the night anymore either, only my H. 

    I'm facing another four day week this week (hopefully the last) and I'm really dreading it. I don't want things to deteriorate further, but I don't know how to help it either. In the evenings she just seems so much more distressed when I'm trying to settle her and I hate seeing her so upset so it just seems fairer on her to let H do it. Which in turn makes me feel worse again. 

    Sorry, just needed to get it all down I guess. 

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  • Rustymumdrum
    Rustymumdrum

    28/04/2013 at 23:13

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    M got really clingy to L when I went back to work (nights) but it didn't last long. It's all Mummy now!

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  • stripeymumdrum
    stripeymumdrum

    28/04/2013 at 23:27

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    Thanks Rusty. Did it fix itself or did you do anything to try and improve the time you spent with M? I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day ATM and by the time we're home from work and dinner is out the way it's bedtime already.

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  • Rustymumdrum
    Rustymumdrum

    29/04/2013 at 00:04

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    Nothing specific really.

    Don't beat yourself up about working. So many women do it.

    She'll be happy for your mum because grandma gets to spoil her. You have to enforce the rules, do the laundry, cooking etc but you are still her Mummy and E loves you.

    M can be clingy to L but if she's hurt or poorly etc, its me she wants.

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  • WhiteSparkles
    WhiteSparkles

    29/04/2013 at 07:53

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    E did this to H after moving out here as he travels away weekly. She's giving you a guilt trip but only because she loves and misses you so much. It will pass, I promise. E counts down the days until daddy is home, asks for him constantly and then throws herself at him when he walks through the door! E will be doing the same before long and all this will be forgotten. Don't take it to heart xx

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  • Cedar
    Cedar

    29/04/2013 at 07:58

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    It was the other way around but my daughter used to get very distressed seeing my H when he came home from work and I had to do bedtime even though he wanted to do it. It was just tiredness. We made sure that they got time together on their own and things improved. Then she became a Daddy's girl and for quite a while it was Daddy all the time. Then it switched.

    Small children will have favourites and will let it show - try not to take it personally (hard I know), make sure you get time on your own with her. It will pass.

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  • workinghard
    workinghard

    29/04/2013 at 08:33

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    It's a phase honestly. Even now S has times when it's all about daddy and doesn't want me. You can bet the tables will turn the other way in a couple of weeks again! Don't feel guilty for working, she's being well looked after x

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