Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
07/06/2013 at 16:07
I'm sure I'm not imagining it, I've been down at the ILs for a two days now, ( SIL is here with her little one too) and he hasn't acknowledged her ONCE. My toddler and SILs toddler are very close in age and love playing together, however I've noticed it blatantly this morning when the two little ones were playing in the hallway and FIL came down the stairs and made a big fuss of SILs baby but didn't say a thing to my little one, not even a hello:( what made it worse is my little girl looked up at him for acknowledgement but he just walked off. So since this incident I thought I would observe how he is with his two grandchildren and it sticks out a mile, if the two little ones are playing he will only talk baby talk to SILs baby and say how pretty he she is etc, my little one might as well be invisible. Another example is when my little girl hurt fell over and hurt herself and cried he just ignored it and stared straight ahead, and yet SILs toddler hurt herself earlier and he couldn't do enough for her. It makes me sick, I'm so upset for my little girl, it's one thing having favourites but another one showing it. Sorry for moaning but I'm sick of my family doing this. x
07/06/2013 at 16:15
Thats awful. I would stop going as your LO will start to get upset by it. What a horrible thing to do.
07/06/2013 at 16:21
Thanks MM, It makes me very angry, he couldn't make it more bleeding obvious if he tried.
07/06/2013 at 16:59
Can you confront him? What an a***hole. If it's that obvious i would have to find out what his problem is x
07/06/2013 at 17:09
I was going to say do you know why he is doing it?? Surely whatever his problem is, isnt an issue with your LO directly? You cant really fall out with a child so if he has an issue with another member of your family it would make him a complete t0sser to be taking it out on your LO. Its made me feel really cross (and sad) on yours and LO's behalf xx
07/06/2013 at 17:16
I would definitely say something, even if to MIL and she can have a word with him. Not on at all, poor you x x
07/06/2013 at 17:21
my Ils do this. even to the extent that they only have 2 photos of him compared to a whole shrine to my SIL's children. at Luke's birthday party they spent most of the time fawning over them and didn't bother with Luke. In fact every conversation I try to start about Luke gets brought back to my SILs children. I give up now as was causing me to feel unwell.
07/06/2013 at 17:53
Thanks ladies. He hasn't said two words to me either, I get the feeling he doesn't want us here, but even so it's not my little ones fault. I would love to confront him but he's been unwell lately. H and him sometimes fall out over things and he is definitely closer to his daughter than my H. No excuse I know I just feel so sad for my baby. Carole, it does make you feel ill, it's awful. x
07/06/2013 at 18:13
my ils were like this but (crap reasoning imo) they were all over sils daughter as sil needed more help than we did, we earn way more than sil and bil so the ils felt that sil needed not only monatary help for niece to have the best and never want for anything and that sil had PND when niece was younger so they gave actual practical help lots too (yet didnt bother two hoots when i was sat with no food in the house in the snow unable to drive post crash section....il shut up before i start)
anyway i mentioned to h then i kept going on and on and on at h about it. anyway then i went mad because i went to mils on 6th nov and she was saying about the fireworks party the night before and i said o did you forget about our invite? she was a bit gobsmacked, anyway i made my excuses and left and told H! h went ballistic, he shouted at them and said that yes fine fair enough they have a favourtie and we cant make them love L more but could they please just try to rein it in a little bit when we are there because as L gets older hes going to start to ask questions, and h said he'd have no idea how to tell L what the reasoning was!
anyway MIL was absolutely devastated, fil was very defensive saying that the reason they went to nieces birthday party and not Ls was because of x and the reason they bought niece outfits and not L was becasue of y
h explained it was never about the money but just the sheer fact they were treated so differently. and it stopped. just like that it was like different grandparents literally the next day, it was if they couldnt give to the 2 of them they wouldnt give at all (ie time/money/attention )
i think your H needs to have a word with them your fil shold be ashamed, if he has an issue with you then fine but a baby....ffs!
07/06/2013 at 18:14
If I was you I'd speak to H and suggest leaving because your being there us obviously causing FIL some difficulty and say you'll visit again when he's feeling more up to having LO around...gets you out of the situation while sounding like you are being sympathetic?
07/06/2013 at 20:29
Thanks ladies, I've just spoken to H and he's furious, luckily he knows what his father is like so he does believe me. CP I'm glad you sorted it out with them in the end, my ILs are of the same thinking that their daughter is the helpless one (even though she's married and 39 years old!) I don't think they realise that it is the 21st century and women are capable of standing on their own two feet nowadays! Weekender, that's a good idea, I might use that line, at least he will know I've noticed his behaviour. I pray to God that I never become a Grandparent like that.
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