Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
21/06/2013 at 14:26
How about the MIL? Could you have her there, as support for your OH?
I have made it explicitly clear to OH is morning in fact, that as soon as my waters break or contractions start (whichever is first) then only him, the mws, my mum and B are allowed in the house. Nobody else, not even to pop in quickly. I want to be able to walk about my house completely comfortable, even if that means in my underwear lol.
But the same goes for a hospital birth too, if we are transferred there then the same rules apply (except my mum and B would stay at home!). AIBU? Does it depend on the relationship you have with the MIL? What if OH wanted her there for support?
21/06/2013 at 14:40
Neither mum would be there. I wouldn't relax with my mum there as she would be flapping about getting stressed and I don't really get on with my mil.
21/06/2013 at 14:41
Nope no MIL no matter if it were home birth or else where. In fact When I was pregnant I told H I would rathe not tell people when labour started and just ring them once baby arrived
21/06/2013 at 14:43
I don't think I could have my MIL around either, even though we probably have a slightly better relationship than I do with my own mum in some respects.
H does have a really close relationship with his mum but I'm afraid if he wanted her there for support I'd probably tell him to man up (gosh I'm horrible aren't I?!) but I don't think he would.
Even though my Mum is fine with not being there in labour with me, I think she'd be a bit upset if I allowed MIL there and not her and I wouldn't want to antagonize her.
I think if you want to walk around your house or the hospital in your undercrackers and don't want your MIL seeing that, it's completely reasonable ;)
21/06/2013 at 15:10
OMG NO WAY! I have a very good relationship with my MIl but I definitely wouldn't want her at the birth! I wouldn't want anyone but H and MW, as said in previous post, but even if I did want someone else, it wouldn't be my MIL, too intimate and would be too, too weird. Wouldn't matter if H wanted it, TBF I think it's pretty reasonable to say labour is mainly about me!
21/06/2013 at 15:29
No MIL at the birth, mine would probably faint in horror! I wouldn't mind her being around afterwards IF my H had said he needed her for support.
A was born just before 10am, and my parents visited same day (mum there for birth, then she went away to leave us three, then came back later with my dad). I'd invited the ILs before the day and reiterated it on the day but they chose not to visit until the day after (still in hospital). I was a little bit hurt on A's behalf to be honest, if that was my grandchild I would have rushed over as soon as I was allowed. SIL visited the same day so it obviously wasn't "the way our family do things" or whatever.
I did have a very uncomplicated birth, and felt well physically, so may have felt differently about visitors otherwise.
21/06/2013 at 15:56
If it was even suggested that my MIL was there, i would burst a blood vessel.
21/06/2013 at 16:17
I have never met my MIL, so wouldn't have ever been an option.
I would only feel comfortable with people Closest to me.
21/06/2013 at 16:35
I wouldn't want my MIL or my own mum with me! No way!
21/06/2013 at 17:15
21/06/2013 at 17:17
Oh my good lord. No no no no no.
And just to confirm, no.
21/06/2013 at 17:21
I tend to swear a lot in labour, if my MIL was there she'd never want to talk to me again
No, I wouldn't want her there.
I didn't even plan on telling either set of parents I was in labour last time, but at the time it felt right to. Looking back it was nice for them to experience the excitement and anticipation. This time we'll have to tell one or the other for childcare reasons, so will just tell both, but even if we didn't have to I think I'd choose to.
21/06/2013 at 17:35
No, absolutely not. MIL is completely detattached from reality. She would be a massive burden. As it happens though, she's asked if she could be there. Straight answer, no.
21/06/2013 at 17:43
Not a chance in a million years. Then equally I don't want my mum around either. To me it is a private, intimate moment between me and Mr JB. In fact, I so much don't want mum or MIL (or anyone else there) that if I go for a VBAC there is a good chance I will be on my own as H will have to get back from London (to Yorkshire)
21/06/2013 at 19:50
I wouldn't but if something had happened to H, I'd want her there over my mum!
21/06/2013 at 20:45
Again, lord no. I resent that the ILs have to be a part of E's life at all, I could never entertain the idea of that woman being at the birth!!
21/06/2013 at 21:52
My in-laws live 6hrs drive away so we plan on calling them when I go into labour so they can start the trip down as we'd like them to be one of the first to meet their grandchild but they won't be there for the birth itself.
21/06/2013 at 23:37
Good god no! I'd be doing it wrong, it would be harder for h, she'd have wanted first hold, her daughter would have been better in labour than me,
22/06/2013 at 05:46
I'd rather have my mum there and that's saying something! MIL would mean well and would have loved to be there but she's just far too interfering. She somehow wangled her way into my SIL's birth (her daughter in law, not daughter) as it was all pretty manic and SIL said she just wasn't aware of it at the time but regrets that it was MIL there now rather than her own mum.
22/06/2013 at 08:58
No, I wouldn't ever consider MIL being there in a million years and she wouldn't have wanted to be!
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