25/09/2013 at 10:49
An oldie here from hitched days. I've got my two children 3&4 with a 20 month gap. Lately been thinking my baby days are not over hubby quite happy to try. Just wondered firstly how many of you have two very close together in age and then a 3rd with a larger gap, has it worked out ok? Also I've been on the depo jab so slightly worried about what I've read online about how long it takes to conceive, what are peoples experiences of coming off the jab has it taken a while?
25/09/2013 at 10:58
Ask me in about 5 months! I have 18 months between 1&2. They are now 5 and 3.5. I'm due in February so it will be 4 yrs and 5.5yrs between them and the baby.
25/09/2013 at 10:59
I have a 4 year old daughter and a 3 year old step son who we have here most weekends, so there is a 16 month gap. I am currently 19 weeks pregnant with number 3, so I don't know how the age gap will work out either, but I have also been thinking about it a lot!
I think the good points will be that the older ones are getting more independent now, so can do things like get dressed and put their shoes on. They are also very excited about the baby, and seem keen to 'help out' when it is born. It also means that the older two will both be at preschool/school when it is born, so I will get one to one time with the baby to go to groups etc.
On the downside, the older two are very close, they have an identical sense of humour at the moment, and can regulary be heard laughing hysterically to each other for ages! They like the same kinds of toys, are physically very similar for things like riding bikes, running speed etc, so they get on really well. When the baby is their age, they will be 7 and 8, and will probably not find poo and wee funny anymore, and will not be quite on the same wavelength as the baby will be by then. I think they will just have a different relationship that the two older ones, they will probably be more protective of it and hopefully they will still find they have things in common.
This is the first baby that my partner and I have had together, the other two are from our first marriages, so we haven't ruled out having a 4th one in the future - but if we did i think we'd make it quite close in age to this one so that we have two pairs, (the older two and possibly younger two) both similar in age if you see what I mean!
25/09/2013 at 11:00
Me! 17 months between 1 and 2 and 3.5 years between 2 and 3.
It works really, really well. Obviously they fight because what kids don't ? But the big two are very kind to their little brother as well as being very close to each other. We have never had any jealousy problems, they took to him right from the start.
25/09/2013 at 11:03
Thanks for the replies, fig leaves those are my exact concerns my two are so close that I worry a 3rd would be left out purely due to age gap.
A positive story Kochanski thanks :) glad to hear that it can work out well.
25/09/2013 at 11:11
I know what you mean - I'm hoping that they will enjoy the 'responsibility' of being the older two, and I talk to them lots about how the baby will look up to them, how they will have to teach it how to do things etc. I guess there's the gender thing too, we've got one of each now, so whichever it is there will be two of one gender, one of the other. That may help as the two girls or two boys might have a different bond, even though there will be a bigger age gap. What gender are your first two?
25/09/2013 at 11:13
I don't have personal experience as Luke is an only, but there is 2 years between my older sister and I, and then 4 years between me and my brother. I'd just started school when my brother was born.
25/09/2013 at 11:16
I have a girl and a boy already. My daughter who has just started school would be fine it's my younger boy who may find it harder. Although saying that by the time I fell pg and had baby he may have started school himself. My heart just tells me to try and go for it and see what happens.
25/09/2013 at 20:16
From my own personal experience I would say never EVER for your third unless you don't mind if you end with 4
I went for number 3 and ended up with twins!
I have quite a few friends with a smallish age gap between #1 and #2 and then a slightly larger gap between #3 and its pretty much what Kochanski said
25/09/2013 at 20:27
There is a 2.5 year age gap between my sister and I (I am younger than my sister) and my brother is 6 years younger than me. We all got on really well and I have very happy childhood memories. We all still get on now and are close.
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