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06/04/2014 at 20:13
E's sleep is going from bad to worse. This afternoon her took her on a big walk round a nature reserve where she walked the whole time herself hoping the exercise and fresh AIT would wear her out. She is currently standing on her bed, bouncing up and down and turning circles. She's always gone to sleep just with me being in the room but just recently that only seems to wind her up more. I don't know if its because its the only time she gets me undivided attention all the herself but that's what it seems she wants. She'll chuck her bunny out of bed and then whinge that she's lost it or her newest one is she purposely bumps her head on the wall and then fake crys that she's hurt herself. But if I try to leave the room while she's still awake she just screams and I haven't the strength for any kind of controlled crying. She's also started being really clingy, only wanting me at bedtime or if she wakes in the night and if I sit anywhere near her she wants to hold my hand or have me lie next to her or if I lie on her bedroom floor and pretend to go to sleep she wants to lie on the floor with me. I'm already exhausted by the time bedtime comes round and Im starting to dread that time of day. She only has about an hours nap and doesn't sleep later than 1.30 so I can't work out why she's not tired. I don't know what the answer is but I can't keep doing this every night.
06/04/2014 at 20:15
I haven't got any real advice I'm afraid. But I wanted to send you a big hug. Could she be overtired? I know b becomes a pain when he's overtired
06/04/2014 at 20:26
I'm so sorry to hear it's still bad, it's so frustrating when they just won't go to sleep (or even lay down) even when we know they're tired. I really hope this doesn't last too much longer for you. I'm seriously considering dropping my daughter's nap to get her to sleep at night. Anything's worth a try. How old is your daughter? x
06/04/2014 at 21:12
On lovey, Im so sorry I have no advice either but you might be right in that she's trying to string out the time that she knows she has you to herself.
Do you do a bedtime story of anything? Just trying to think of things that are calming but that's one on one time.
Or maybe you could lie with her and do something like talk about something that you plan to do the next day then it's a once you go to sleep and wake up it's the day to do the thing (I'm not sure I'm making any sense!)
07/04/2014 at 07:30
If O does this to me it's usually that he is overtired. I know you say you can't do controlled crying ....We've not done controlled crying as such but as I'm on my own for bedtimes (H works nights) it was getting too much for me so I started coming away and seeing what O did. ..I can tell the difference between fake and real crying and only return for real iyswim giving him time to wear himself out/settle. He doesn't even get out of bed now. Our bedtimes here have got later since the clocks changed and we're still having naps but if all else fails for you I think you'd have to consider going without a nap.
07/04/2014 at 07:43
Thanks everyone! I was that tired last night I fell asleep on her bedroom floor and my H had to come wake me! It's just exhausting as she resists naps too and is also waking in the night. BlackKat and Coco, she's only 22 moths - is that to young to drop a nap? It is something I've been considering or if not, reducing how lon she has at least. I've also been reading that toddlers have a sleep regression at around 18 months and then again at 2 so maybe this is one of those? Also, separation anxiety can rear its head against around this age. Plus at this age they've canines and back molars cutting - give me a break!
MDD, I've been trying really hard to find time everyday to do something just me and her (however long I can get A to bounce in her jumperoo for!) but obviously that isn't enough! I just don't know what I'm doing wrong for her to suddenly stop sleeping through or what to do to rectify it!
07/04/2014 at 07:46
And just to add, the little madam is still asleep now whereas I had to get up at the crack of dawn to feed her sister!
07/04/2014 at 08:27
Toddlers are complex things....just when you think you've cracked something it changes again and you're back to square one! I don't think there is such a thing as too young to stop naps but agree may be worth reducing to start with. O has just turned 2 and still has a 2 he nap but we've no problems getting him down at night. When this changes or he chooses not to nap I'll stop. Remember they're all different though so although O is a tad older doesn't mean it's right for your LO iyswim. In general we get a 10-10.5 hour night and 2 hour nap.
There is some sleep regression with teething etc (thank god we're fully toothed now! ;-) ), but can't say separation anxiety has proved a problem again at this age
07/04/2014 at 09:45
I'm not really sure about the dropping the nap (ie what age) but currently I feel that spend so long trying to get her down for her daytime nap that there's not enough time between waking from her 2 hour nap to going to bed. My hubby is away this week so I'm gonna see what happens if we miss out the daytime nap but have dinner & going to bed earlier. Worth a try (especially as my 26 month old keeps waking in the night crying). I guess it's about trying different things & seeing what works. I think my daughter may also be cutting her molars too & if it's anything like me with my wisdom teeth I know how painful it can be. Good luck & hopefully you get to sleep in your own bed tonight x
07/04/2014 at 16:35
F is 26 months and he rarely has a daytime nap these days. I think it was just before Christmas when he started refusing to go down in the afternoon so eventually I gave up trying. On the whole, it seemed to work fine and it meant that bedtime was a breeze.
Fast forward a few months to us taking the sides off his cot and his sleep is gradually getting worse. We've always been quite lucky with how easy he was to put to bed but now we have difficulty getting him to stay in bed when we take him up. He definitely plays up a lot more when I do bedtime but seems to listen to H when he tells him it's time for bed. Has your H tried doing bedtime to see if it makes a difference?
We've only ever done self settling as when little, F hated being rocked or shushed to sleep but I think if all else failed I would maybe give controlled crying a go. At this age they're very good at pushing the boundaries and testing us so, personally, I don't think they're too young for it. I wouldn't do CC with a tiny baby but these are toddlers.
It might be worth dropping the daytime nap in the first instance to see if it makes a difference. I've noticed if, on the rare occasion, F has a nap he's just not tired enough when it comes to bedtime so I actually prefer him not to have a nap.
07/04/2014 at 19:57
She only had about 40 mins for her nap today as she refused to go to sleep but is still playing up so I guess reducing it isn't the answer! What times do your toddlers go to bed? E goes at 7 but at the moment isn't actually going to sleep until about 7.45/8ish. She gets up at between 6-6.30am.
Blackkat, good luck - you will have to keep me posted!
WG, she's really clingy to me at the moment. My H has done bedtime tonight and she's done nothing but cry and call for me. She's the same if he goes into her in the night so I usually end up going in to save her waking her sister too!
07/04/2014 at 21:01
When J messes around at bedtime we tell him we're leaving the room unless he lies down and behaves. Then if he doesn't lie down and behave we leave, only for 30 secs or so, but he has gradually got the message that to have a parent sit with him at bedtime he needs to behave. Then we hold his hand for a little while, and once he seems settled (but awake) we say goodnight and leave, then repeat if necessary. Of course this works better as he's still in his cotbed, if he were in a bed and could get out I'm not sure it'd have the same effect.
07/04/2014 at 21:20
Hmm I guess it could be separation anxiety, in which case only time will tell. That doesn't help much, does it?
F goes to bed at 7pm but these days he's rarely asleep before 7:30. It feels like since he's now in his toddler bed, his bedtime is getting later and later.
08/04/2014 at 06:21
Spikey, that's a good idea - I might try that one with her. WG, I agree, she was never this bad before she was in her toddler bed.
Well, last night was no different - she still woke in the night crying and I had to go in and settle her which meant me lying on the floor for about half an hour. A was really unsettled too last night so I've been up and down most the night with her too. If this is a phase I hope it ends soon as i'm exhausted and can't carry on like this for much longer!
08/04/2014 at 08:38
No practical advice to give I'm afraid, but really hoping that things get better soon. Sending you a hug x
09/04/2014 at 18:03
Well, today we are trialling the no nap solution as E has point blank refused to have one today! I was worried she'd zonk about 3 but she's still going strong! Will have to see how bedtime and tonight's sleep go first before I make any decisions!
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