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04/04/2013 at 18:17
I have been so up and down about whether to go for vbac or elcs over the last few months. Finally decided on vbac but now i am wondering if i made the right choice.
Had mw appt today to go through birth etc and i am suddenly terrified. What if it all goes wrong again? Baby is in same position as last time which is why i ended up with cs under ga. What if she doesnt turn? Although i am doing all i can to get her to. I felt so out of control with the pain and the way things went last time and i am so desperate for a good birth experience. I am reafing up on hypnobirthing, having reflexology, doing aromatherapy, keeping more active etc. If my vbac goes to plan it will heal a huge gap i feel i have for missing out on G's birth but if it all goes wrong.....??
I am terrified of tearing and having to have assisted delivery too.
I thought i had all this sorted and now i feel lost again
I keep wishing these last precious weeks of my pregnancy away and just wish the birth was all over. This isnt how i wanted it to be as i dont think we will have any more.
Not sure there are any answers to any of this but needed to let it out. Is everyone this scared second time around?
04/04/2013 at 18:28
I can't help on the whole VBAC/CS decision or debate, but I completely identify with the whole being scared second time around. C's birth wasn't traumatic, though on reflection there are things I wish I could change so I'd like to see if I can rectify that this time (being more active, not labouring on my back, not having pethidine, not feeling so out of control, water birth - though I think the latter is definitely out this time because of the GD).
I think I am almost more scared this time as I know what we have to lose, I know what labour is now like, I know what could go wrong and that it now just doesn't impact on me and H, but C too.
04/04/2013 at 18:30
What position is baby in? What has MW said about possibility of baby assuming the correct position? Have you had a presentation scan to confirm positioning?
You're about 36 weeks aren't you, assume baby is head down as you're 2/5 engaged. What position was your first LO in which resulted in GA? Also why would an emergency csection mean GA for you? Is there a reason?
Just some reassurance from my past experience, assisted delivery in terms of ventouse or forceps is actually not that bad and, apart from the episiotomy which was ouchy afterwards, I was fine. N turned to face the left as he started down the birth canal so got stuck, they tried to turn him by hand (yes that did HURT) but weren't successful so used forceps to turn him and get him out.
I don't know your history though?
04/04/2013 at 18:34
It's normal to be nervous and scared, especially when you've had a bad experience already! I had an emergency section with my first after a complicated long labour and had a complete melt down in my consultant appointment when asked what I wanted second time round! In the end I agreed to a vbac if I went into labour naturally but a section on my due date if not, I didn't go into labour and was upset that I didn't have a vbac but relieved I didn't have another bad labour. My section was amazing and I ended up having some repair work done on my emergency section scar as it started to tear internally and I was told I was lucky I hadn't gone into labour after all as it would have been another disaster! This time I have to have another section and I'm again disappointed and sad that I'll never experience a 'normal birth' as this is our last too but also happy as it's less risky (for my situation) this way!
I know that's no help to you making your decision but I guess I'm saying that your not alone in being confused about it all.
My Vbac plan was that I'd do it if I went into labour naturally, be monitored closely and if I aasnt progressing at a decent speed or the slightest problem came up I had the option to ask for a section if I wanted one? would something like that work for you?
04/04/2013 at 18:42
Hep that sounds similar to G - she was head down but sideways on and this one is the same. There are no guarantees what position she will be in when i go into labour and of course they turn during labour anyway so it seems like pot luck again.
I had GA because they couldnt get the needle in but dont really know why. No obvious reason so it may or may not happen again.
Thanks BW - there are lots of things i will do differently this time including all the things you listed!
Libby - perhaps thats my answer. With G i was put on a hormone drip at 5cm so i wonder if i might have the option to either have cs if its due to position again or epidural. Thats reassuring about assisted birth. I must sound really vain but the thought of a third degree tear or being forever in pain or mutilated down there horrifies me.
04/04/2013 at 18:44
If it helps, ELCS's are a totally different ball game to EMCS.
04/04/2013 at 18:49
Thanks Rusty. Its not so much the section itself its whether i have epidural issues again. I asked that if i went for elcs and they coukdnt get the epidural in again did i have the option to go home and wait for labour to start to which the answer was a resounding no. I seem to have more scope to change the plan if i go down the vbac route whereas with ekcs there is no mind changing. ..
04/04/2013 at 19:08
To me it sounds like you should go for the vbac but have a plan in place if things aren't progressing how you need/want. That way you've given it your best shot and can't feel guilty for not trying if it doesn't work out and you do need a section. I know that after two planned sections myself I am sad that I will never experience full labour although I'm glad my waters broke and I had contractions the day before the second elcs so I at least know how the beginning bit goes!
Also no two births are the same, apart from the position of the baby there is no reason why your labour will be exactly the same as last time. Baby will hopefully move in the net month or during actual labour. Finally as you are worried about the epidural not working - my spinal didnt work for my first section and I too had a GA, second time it worked perfectly. It could have been down the anesthetist, the timing, the way you were sitting, the way it travelled up your spine who knows!
04/04/2013 at 19:26
I think that's the key thing, even if baby gets its head into the correct position now they can move in labour. N was in exactly the right position until 7cm when he decided to look left and threw my water birth plan out of the window.
I'd be asking for an anesthetist app to discuss what happened with the epidural with birth #1 (Have you looked in to why the epidural didn't work in detail? Seen your notes?) but I think I'd want to try VBAC but with a plan in place if things don't go to plan.
EMCS under GA again is far from ideal so I think you need more of a plan agreed if you do decide to try for VBAC
04/04/2013 at 19:30
Yes i have seen a consultant anaesthetist. Apparently the just kept hitting bone but it was most likely due to the fact i couldnt bend forward enough.
04/04/2013 at 19:36
Well that sounds positive.
Would a spinal not be another option? I had a spinal rather than an epidural when I went to theatre for forceps....
04/04/2013 at 19:41
Tried spinal but it only worked down one leg. Yep i got the whole package!
04/04/2013 at 20:18
Remember every birth is different and I'm sure that this one will be no exception. I'd def be trying for VBAC but with a plan in place for the csection x
04/04/2013 at 20:20
Thanks Hep. I am thinking thats the route i will probably take too. Has your SPD been mentioned for the birth?
04/04/2013 at 20:36
Not at all, but I've not spoken about the birth with anyone! MW hasn't asked and neither did GP at my app yesterday.
I'm quite open to 'go with it' but also have an extensive birth preferences list with info like requesting delayed cord clamping and might demand the pool on a number of occasions in the birth plan - Who knows if I'll get it though!
Don't think SPD really effects labour apart from ruling out some positions so I've just written in bold underline that I've had severe SPD on the birth plan.
04/04/2013 at 21:11
I kind of forgot i had it when i was in labour with G until they put my feet up on boards.
04/04/2013 at 21:32
Why did they do that MM?
Seems like a bad position for SPD??
But then I flatly refused to lie on my back in my last labour so there is very little chance they'd get me to put my feet up on boards unless they had good reason!
04/04/2013 at 21:38
I dont think they read my notes properly! They did it to help me push and it really hurt and it was at that point i hollared at them that i had SPD!
04/04/2013 at 21:42
Oh I see!
Actually I'm not sure it says I have SPD anywhere in my notes....?
05/04/2013 at 05:28
I've just had a very successful VBAC after a GA CS with J and we had exactly the same worries but they couldn't say why the epi didn't work. This time round I had to have a spinal afterwards to be stitched and it took a while to place but they managed it. They told us they wouldn't put me on the drip as this is what put J into distress and I could request a section at any time. It's such a horrible decision to have to make ad there are so many pros and cons to both. I hope you get your VBAC, it gave me so much closure
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