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15/02/2014 at 19:40
One of my best friends is getting married in July, and I'm a bridesmaid. Her hen do is in May, when I'll be 37 weeks, I said I could do the date as it was initially supposed to be based 20 mins from my house, so if I did go into labour early I'd still be at the nearest hospital. Also no long travelling whilst exceedingly uncomfortable. I've just been told it's going to be moved to the Lake District, which is 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 hours away, depending on which part is chosen, which is a very long journey at 37 weeks. It's probably going to incorporate more walking, which I'm not going to be hugely up for, and if I were to go into labour I'd be nowhere near my hospital - this is a second labour so may go well go faster than the first. With J I was in hospital for 4 days, and whilst I'm obviously hoping this won't be the case with number 2, if I were stuck in a hospital 4 hours away from H and J it'd be pretty awful. Also everyone is probably going to be tipsy drunk with it being a hen do, so if I went into labour I'd be driving myself to hospital.
I don't know what to do, I really don't want to let her down by not going, but I really don't want to be that far away & winout H that late on pregnancy.
15/02/2014 at 19:44
I wouldn't go. Could you suggest taking your friend out for a pamper afternoon to a local spa or a nice meal instead?
15/02/2014 at 19:45
I think if I was you I'd have to say I wasn't going. Will she have a night out close to home too you could go to? To be fair, she must have suspected you might not go that far so close to due date?
15/02/2014 at 19:55
I wouldn't go. I did go to a family party at 37+2 a few hours away but the PILs drove us, I was with H, I took my maternity notes and as it was a first labour the odds were that I wouldn't go into labour that early and even if I did we'd probably have had time to drive back home. I also didn't have a LO to worry about.
FWIW I wouldn't expect anyone, even a best friend and bridesmaid, to travel that far especially when already full-term.
ETA Is 37 weeks referred to as "full term" or is that just 40 weeks? You know what I mean anyway
15/02/2014 at 20:01
I wouldn't go. I wouldn't even worry about letting her down - surely she has your best interests at heart too and should therefore be understanding?
15/02/2014 at 20:03
I wouldnt go either. Im sure she'll understand.
15/02/2014 at 20:15
I wouldn't go at 37 weeks I would say anyone would understand you not wanting to be 3+ hours away from your hospital and your H.
Don't feel guilty about not being able to go the circumstances have changed.
15/02/2014 at 20:30
I wouldn't go.
15/02/2014 at 20:43
I wouldn't go either.
One if my bms didn't come on my hen do as she was going to be 38 weeks pregnant at the time. I wouldn't have expected her too and I was just happy for her to do whatever she wanted.
15/02/2014 at 20:50
Thanks everyone. I needed some feedback that I wasn't being over cautious. My little sister didn't come to my hen do which was 4 hours from her at 28 weeks (she'd had some bleeding during the pregnancy and didn't want to be too far from her hospital) and I obviously wasn't remotely offended, so hopefully my friend will understand.
15/02/2014 at 21:10
Totally the right decision, I really wouldn't feel comfortable being away from home at that stage by that distance, I went into labour at 37+5 with Molly x
15/02/2014 at 21:21
Definitely the best decision, I wouldn't want to go either. I hope your friend is understanding.
15/02/2014 at 23:15
I wouldn't go, but I'd try hard to do something meaningful and gentle, just as a twosome.
16/02/2014 at 06:28
I definitely wouldn't go either. Like Counter's idea of doing something else xx
16/02/2014 at 07:44
I wouldn't go either. F was born at 37+4. I'm sure she'd understand if you explained why you don't feel comfortable about it.
16/02/2014 at 09:50
16/02/2014 at 12:07
Another vote for not going. I'm sure your friend would understand. Like others have said, if you suggest maybe doing something just the two of you a couple weeks before that or something, like afternoon tea etc
17/02/2014 at 12:33
Thanks again to everyone who responded. After stressing overnight I called and explained yesterday and she immediately said if I couldn't do the Lake District then we'd move it closer, so it's now going to be in the dales, about 90 mins away, which I'm much more comfortable with. So it's all good. :-)
17/02/2014 at 12:44
Defnitely wouldn't take the risk!
17/02/2014 at 13:03
That's really good of your friend.
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