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26/03/2013 at 17:44
and why did you stop?
I'm having a bad day today and after a stressful and sleepless week now I am really considering giving up feeding M myself and moving to formula. I am literally sat here all day and night with him constantly attached to my boob. He's not at all settled and even though he's putting on weight it doesn't seem to satisfy him. He doesn't sleep at all during the night due to constant feeding and he will only sleep during the day if he's on me. People keep saying it will get better and I'm sure it will but I'm at the point already where it's stressing me out, I never planned on feeding for long but wanted to get to at least 4 weeks so feel like a complete failure if I give up already.
When you did switch to formula, did you find baby settled more?
26/03/2013 at 17:50
7 weeks and counting, but definitely had days like you're having. Do you have breastfeeding cafes near you? My local one helped me figure out some of the problems and talk to other women about it too. Maybe something like that could give you the push to carry on if you want to. And that's only if you want to continue.
Dont' feel guilty whatever you decide. You're a great mum and M will continue to grow and thrive however he's fed.
26/03/2013 at 17:51
Has your MW suggested anything? Dont feel like a failure, you have given it a good go xxxxx
26/03/2013 at 17:52
There's a big growth spurt at about 2 weeks which would explain why he's feeding so much. It hit L when she was 10 days old and I ended up jacking in BFing that night as we were having one problem after another (sore nipples, poor latch, tongue tie - 2 week wait of an appointment) and tbh, I regret not trying to sort these problems. I got to 9 weeks with O and then he started fighting with the boob. My two didn't really settle on formula in that they were still wanting feeds at the same intervals as when they were being BF.
26/03/2013 at 17:53
Firstly huge hugs because bf is hard We didn't switch. I fed L to 14 months and I to 12 months and just swapped to cows milk.
How old is your Lo? In the early days feeding A LOT is very common and feeding at night is also common as you produce fattier milk at night. Do you go to a bf group? I found the bf group with I totally invaluable, he fed A LOT, ie hourly from 7am till 4 then constantly from 4-8ish but would sleep all night but I was exhausted! The support workers were able to check latch and watch him feed etc so I knew that all was fine it was just that he fed a lot iyswim. L also fed a lot in the early days especially at night but settled about 6 weeks. Is h helpful? Have you expressed yet? I remember L was 5 weeks and I was exhausted and mil took L for a few hours and gave ebm whilst I slept.
26/03/2013 at 17:55
I switched when J wa just over 4 months- he was going through a growth spurt and I couldn't cope anymore- he was a little and often feeder and wouldn't really go longer than an hour and a half between feeds. It took me about 4 weeks to decide as mum guilt kicked in! In te end I was starting to resent feeding him and H was really worried I was becoming depressed.
Honestly J is a lot happier- I think he fed for comfort a lot an was often sick when BF as didn't really need the food- in also less exhausted and I think this is helping- happy mummy happy baby. It is a pain at night having to make a bottle and its obviously costing more but for me it was the right descision.
26/03/2013 at 17:58
It's really tiring, so don't be hard on yourself. T was the same, I had no idea when one feed ended and another started! Do you have someone who could take M for a walk in the pram whilst you slept? Make sure you're eating and drinking lots too (easier said than done I know!), to take care of yourself. I just accepted that I'd spend the whole day feeding and make sure I had the tv remote, a drink, snack, phone, kindle etc around me. A sling might help too, so your hands are free?
Only you can decide if you want to switch to formula, and you must do what's best for you, but please don't feel like a failure, because you're absolutely not! Big hugs xx
26/03/2013 at 17:59
I breast fed for 8 months. My initial goal was 3 months I got to that so upped it to 6 months reached that then at 8 months Isla started biting me hard, drawing blood. I persevered for about 4 days like this but started to dread each feed until one day i just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had a carton in the cupboard which I tried her with and she didn't mind the switch at all.
I can't really help with whether she was more settled as we were weaning so having three meals a day by then.
All I can advise is if you really want to do it persevere, it does get easier. Isla wasn't a constant feeder as in hours on end she would feed for 10-15 mins every hour to start with. She still would only go every two hours during the day til we weaned at 6 months.
I found the longer I fed the more addictive it was and was absolutely gutted I had to stop at 8 months. I was upset for a few days but was definitely the right time for us.
You need to do what's best for you as little one needs a happy mummy x
26/03/2013 at 18:00
I lasted two weeks and gave up, it was the right thing for me at the time but i think i'll always feel guilty about it. I know all the theory but in practice it was much, much harder than i'd expected and i was in so much pain, my nipples were cracked and bleeding and i had a third degree tear so i was in a lot of pain down below too. Everywhere hurt and i couldn't get comfy to feed him. I dreaded every feed, which seemed to be every hour and i got myself in such a state it was a relief to say to H i couldn't do it anymore. It was a very difficult decision for me and i'm still not sure whether i should have persevered but at the time i just couldn't. It's a very personal ddecision and only you know what's right for you and your LO, i take comfort from the fact that his first feed was breastmilk and he had two weeks of the good stuff xx
26/03/2013 at 18:02
First of all you are NOT a failure. Your doing a great job and have given your baby a great start, it sounds like your in growth spurt territory.
Im currently at almost 9 weeks and still going. I almost stopped a week ago due to a blister but I kept going and am glad I did. Im very pro mix feeding as that's what I do and it works for us, A has 2 ff a day its not alot but it gives me and my boobs a break. Could mix feeding be an option for you?
Ultimately you have to do whats right for you, happy mummy = happy baby x
26/03/2013 at 18:09
N had nothing but breast milk until he was 15 months, we introduced cows milk in food during weaning then switched his milk drinks to cows milk at 15 months.
Remember the early weeks are tough and they say it takes a minimum of 6 weeks to get into established BFing territory. There is also the first growth spurt around this stage which is probably increasing his feeds. If he's gaining weight then he's getting enough.
This link may help : www.thealphaparent.com/.../timeline-of-breastfed-baby.html
26/03/2013 at 18:20
You're absolutely not a failure. Any BF you can give your baby is fab and IMO the key thing is that baby is fed.
We lasted only 3 days /2 nights. I couldn't face seeing E getting more and more distfteressed at her hunger when my milk hadn't come in and by the time it did no way would E take the boob. after having a long exhausting labour and little sleep in hospital I wasn't in the right place to persist without help that wasn't there. I wish I'd had more help and support and less judgement as I wasn't ready to give up but felt desperate. I'd therefore always encourage people to try and find support if it's an issue making them stop rather than a desire to. I really wish someone had said that to me. However as I said if it's the right time absolutely don't be hard on yourself. X
26/03/2013 at 18:26
If you were to read back through my posts you would see that I said exactly the same when O was M's age. I'll say to you what everyone said to me, you've done brilliantly well to get this far and M has had a fantastic start.
As you know, I'm still feeding O but have started introducing formula now for maybe 1 feed a day? What you do next us completely up to you, you are absolutely not a failure. You need to do what's best for both of you. Xx
26/03/2013 at 18:46
I fed #1 until 3 months then switched to formula to gain some control over his feeding (PND talking there). With #2 I fed him until nearly 2.5, stopped because it felt like the right time and I was newly pregnant with #3 and it was hurting a bit.
Every day is great stuff and 2 weeks is prime growth spurt time, so the best advice is to put your feet up with food & drink, a good box set and try to ride it out if you want to continue.
Loads of good advice here already of course, for me the thought of having to make up bottles, sterilse things and the cost totally put me off, I have had a few issues and some bad nights but the thought of having to come down in the night and faff about is less appealing! As others have said it's totally up to you xx
26/03/2013 at 18:58
I think half of the problem is that I have seen 5 different midwifes/support workers etc since M was born who have all given different (sometimes conflicting) advice, none of which has worked. It made it worse yesterday when a breast feeding support worker gave me what turned out to be terrible advice and we ended up have our worst night ever.
A growth spurt does make sense, especially as he is so little. I'm lucky that M has taken to feeding well and I've had no problems with it either, he has the occasional fussy period but that's it.
CP he's only 2 weeks so it's only early stages I know. H was helpful during his 2 weeks off but he works 12 hour days now back at work so I don't really expect much from him. I wasn't sure if I could express yet as they aren't meant to have a bottle til 4 weeks?
I have considered a sling, they are just a bit pricey and I need to make sure I choose the right one.
Mix feeding could be an option, especially if it helps to top him up a bit.
I think I would be annoyed with myself if I stopped BF yet wasn't seeing any improvement with FF. I think I will persist until 4 weeks then see how I feel after that maybe.
26/03/2013 at 19:38
A has had tommee tippee closer to nature bottles from a few days old and has no trouble switching between bottle and breast. Is there a sling library near you where you can try different ones? I bought my close caboo on ebay for half the price and its great for us x
26/03/2013 at 20:17
You are not a failure. Bf doesn't have to be all or nothing don't forget. S fed more than he was off the boob so I introduced some formula bottles which saved my sanity. I just couldn't keep up. For us it was the perfect solution- I got some rest, H could do some feeds and S got more milk. We carried on like that for 6 months when I gave up bf altogether.
26/03/2013 at 20:19
Oh and I'm not convinced by the whole nipple confusion thing. S had both as soon as he was off tube feeds at 3 weeks and was fine on either. We used tommee tippee too
Have you tried a dummy to settle him a little? I fed M until 12 weeks, used a dummy from 5 weeks as he was using me as a dummy, I introduced a expressed breast milk bottle around 8 weeks, would have one twice a week so h would do the before bed feed, the early days can be very hard, sounds like your doing a fab job, have you tried breast feeding lying on your side, it saved me during the night, big hugs to you xx
i also think that at 2 weeks he knows where his food is coming from, I am sure he will be fine with a bottle
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