Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
05/08/2014 at 20:07
I haven't posted before & I'm not really sure if I'm posting in the right place.
OH and I are hoping to start TTC soon. We are currently in a one bed rented flat and are looking to buy our first place once we get married in 2 months.
We are struggling to decide between staying fairly central in a 2 bed flat and having a short commute to work or moving further out and having more space but a longer commute.
I was hoping on some advice on how much space you realistically need? And if anyone has a long commute in and out of the city & how they cope balancing this with childcare?
Sorry for the rambly post but this is a decision that keeps me awake a night. I want to do the best for our future family. deciding to get married and start a family was easy :-)
05/08/2014 at 21:19
Different things work for different people. As a small child I lived with my Dad and brother in a one bed flat. Dad had the bedroom and my brother and Ihad bunk beds in the living room.
I have recently moved towns because I wanted a shorter commute to work and I juggle two small-ish children on my own with no family help. We had to move anyway and the area I moved to is mroe expensive and the house two thirds of the size smaller but it was worth it for the shorter commute for me.
We moved out of the city for more space. Baby isn't her yet but we wanted a family home. The commute is one of the reasons it looks like I'll be taking a career break. But people have babies in studio flats so ultimately it's your lifestyle that will be key.
05/08/2014 at 21:33
We chose to keep our 2 bed flat in town centre over house. Lots of parks and our family is near with gardens. I liked the idea of walking around the shops, friends nearby etc and thought i might feel isolated moving away. Also near station for H. A really personal decision I think as could equally be argued other way. Also we have lived here a while and plan to move once baby 2 and running etc.
05/08/2014 at 22:02
Welcome to MD!
I think that depends on you as a couple rather, how do you find your space just now? We moved from a 2 bed flat to a 3 bed house but with alot of living space and a good garden before we started TTC. Our flat was a really good size with two double bedrooms and a separate dining room, but despite this, we always seemed to have stuff lying round the spare room or packed in cupboards! I knew we would have to move before we had an addition to the family plus we lived right in (our small) town and had traffic all day which was annoying and I wanted a safer garden for our child and we also had a dog.
We could have turned the spare room into a room for O no problem and the only big impact on space downstairs is his highchair in the kitchen and we keep the jumperoo and baby gym downstairs. I just know as a couple we would have been climbing over each other with a baby too!
My friend had a 2 bed ground floor flat and she stayed there when her little boy was born and they only moved when she was pregnant with her second boy (her 1st would have been coming up for 2). They got on no problem at all and she never looked like they were struggling for space but again I think that's down to the couple, she's very organised and ruthless on 'stuff' if it's not needed then it can go. I'm not like that, I'm terrible for keeping things, both keepsake and just because I 'might' need it at some point in life!
05/08/2014 at 22:24
Thanks all for sharing your experiences. It's helped me to see that both are possible.
We aren't the most organised & definitely fill the space we currently have. I've just had a chat with my OH and we have talked about moving a little further out so that he can still commute into London and I can try and get a job a bit further out. OHs parents live 5 hours away & I'd quite like for them to be able to visit & we'll need space for them to stay. I love being in London but I think what we love will change once we have kids.... Decisions decisions
06/08/2014 at 06:03
I'm in a different situation as house prices in NI are a lot less than mainland but I could never live in a flat, even as a student I always rented houses with friends.
I grew up in the country in a good sized detached bungalow with a massive garden. Both parents work close by.
I want similar for our children as I had a great childhood & can only associate that with what my parents provided if that makes sense? I don't know any different.
We currently own a 3 bed townhouse with a small garden - fine for a starter home but was never our long term Plan. It's a great area so has kept value well - esp for the best schools. I have an hr commute each way but OH works 5mins from where we live & I plan to go back part time. If for some reason they can't offer me part time, I plan to use my annual leave to do part time hours & find sthing else in the interim period. I definately do not want to commute with a family but I do like where I work & employee benefits are second to none so part time is the middle ground.
We have sale agreed on a derelict bungalow needing extensive work in the area we currently live. Big private garden for children, 4 bed (although plan to use one as a toy room) separate dining room & utility room - I'm so excited about having a tumble dryer in the house rather than in a garden shed & a dishwater!). OH dream of having a garage will come true.
It's all relative - have you & your OH made any lists? Ie we made a wish list for our forever home, broke it down into necessity & like & took it from there. It's also Important to discuss how you want to live your life, your lifestyle. Ie how do you plan to live mid week & at wkends? We discussed & agreed my part time working as soon as I fell pregnant - just hope work accepts my request as easily as my husband did! It means less treats & sticking to a budget more but the benefits will outweigh the negatives.
06/08/2014 at 08:50
It's a difficult decision as there's pros and cons to moving or staying.
You also need to consider long term things like schools in the area where you live.
Do you want a second child and if so how soon would you want that- if it's going to be in a couple of years you probably need to think About where you want to live with space for toddlers running about etc aswell as immediate things like space for a pram. Otherwise you may find yourself having to move again.
Where would your child care be? If you have a long commute you probably couldn't have a nursery near your house as you wouldn't be back in time to collect your child, so you may need one near work, in which case a long commute with a baby/toddler wouldn't be great.
Is the area family friendly- play groups etc to go to to meet other parents, and your little one to play with other children.
I don't think there's one answer, you just need to decide what your "must haves" are. Good luck!
06/08/2014 at 09:22
Oh JT makes a very good point about the pram! We have a huge hall, but I hated the pram being in it! No idea why, I just did so I leave it in our integral garage. It would probably have had to be left in the kitchen of the hall at our flat and in hindsight that would have driven me mad!
06/08/2014 at 09:33
Welcome to MD and congratulations on your upcoming wedding, exciting times!
It's a really hard call to make but for me, I'm a townie and couldn't bear to be too far away from the hustle and bustle of a busy town. We are about 15 minutes walk away from parks, places to eat/drink and all of S's play groups and classes as well as my friends. I'm possibly about to become a SAHM so these things are really important to me at the moment as I would feel very isolated if we were in a more remote area, even with more space.
If I was going back to work, we would still only be a 15 minute commute but it would definitely have influenced my nursery choice - I'd have gone for one nearer work so that is a consideration.
Space can be an issue. We have a good sized house so are lucky but I would definitely love a bit more space. However, it's possible to make adjustments. We don't have a very wide hall and it wouldn't be possible to store a pram up so we chose one that collapsed and stood upright on it's own. We didn't have a separate moses basket downstairs for day sleeps, just used the carrycot from the pram etc so it is possible to be clever about it.
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