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How to make it clear without offending or upsetting!!

Chat < Pregnancy & Birth Clubs < Pregnancy

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  • MummyLeanne
    MummyLeanne

    17/09/2010 at 08:12

    PM
    This seems abit like a pointless post but I know that it will offend/upset/annoy certain people in my family.

    I'm due in december and wanted to start putting the point across now so I don't end up losing it when bubs is here.

    It has nothing to do with my baby, but it has his pram.

    Here goes...
    I purposely bought a buggy/pram/travel system, whatever, with one big handle instead of two handles so people couldn't hang their shopping bags on it, but the problem is is that its got a massive shopping basket underneath.

    Its my grandma in particular that dumps her shopping if she can just so she doesnt have to carry it, but then by the time she stuffed all her shopping under there that means I'm the one pushing it around all day. It's also awkward because we are such a close family (and she only lives next door) she comes everywhere with us.

    So what I'm trying to prepare is before december comes that she KNOWS that im serious that I don't want her dumping her shopping on my pram.

    Does anyone have any suggestions that I can keep telling her or saying so it doesnt seem like I'm purposely aiming this at her because I know for a fact that she will think that I'm being funny or nasty and she will tell me to be stop being silly about it.

    Thanks for any suggestions :\)

    xxx
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  • emmyjane
    emmyjane

    17/09/2010 at 08:26

    PM
    Erm, I can only suggest that you either
    a) get ready and go out before hand and not take your granny everywhere with you!?

    b) remove the basket

    c) Buy her one of those biddy trolley things so she can pull her own shopping
    http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Mobility-Shopping-Trolley-/120620270226?pt=UK_Tickets_Travel_Luggage_CA&hash=item1c15874292

    d) let her load her shopping underneath, then tell her to push it!!
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  • Bluebump
    Bluebump

    17/09/2010 at 08:42

    PM
    You could put your changing bag(or any other bag) in the basket while out with your grandma,and if she asks, just say " oh i've read on a few reviews that the shopping basket isnt very strong,so i dont want to overload it and break it" or something along those lines?
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  • saida2810
    saida2810

    17/09/2010 at 09:46

    PM
    place your babies bag underneath so it seems theres no room down there... and seem as its family i dont know how you can tell without having a good reason... try hinting it to them... dont know how but try!!

    good luck
    xxxx
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  • WoWbabies
    WoWbabies

    17/09/2010 at 09:58

    PM
    i'm not sure why it would be an issue? i have a fairly large shopping basket on our pushchair and sometimes it's rammed full but i've never noticed it's got any heavier or more difficult to push than when its virtually empty? not unless i've loaded it with bricks or something lol...all i can suggest is that if u are adamant then maybe ask her to push it, or just be honest and say u simply don't want her to, tbh without a very valid reason i can't see how u could make it clear without putting her out slightly and possibly offending her because all u can say is 'i don't want u to' whihc she might find a little odd, i know i do (sorry). if i'm ever out with someone i always offer them to put their stuff underneath rather than having to grapple carrying it when there is no need...x 28+1
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  • MummyLeanne
    MummyLeanne

    17/09/2010 at 10:00

    PM
    Good question Littlewolf, I dont really know, it just annoys the living daylights out of me, she thinks she has the right to put all her stuff under there.

    Tutan-didamoon, good suggestion but she already has one of those. I know she wont use it - prime example, my aunty had a baby on 5th sept and she went out with her today and said "oh we don't need to take it because the basket on the pushchair is big enough"

    I already thought about putting the changing bag under there but I know for a fact that she will take it out and hang it off the handle just so she can put her shopping under. I would really love to be able to escape out without taking her but when I have in the past she will ring me up demanding a reason why I didn't tell her and if I dont answer she will only come round when I get back anyway.

    I know it may seem as though I'm being petty about it but it something that I feel strongly about.

    xxx
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  • WoWbabies
    WoWbabies

    17/09/2010 at 10:07

    PM
    "I already thought about putting the changing bag under there but I know for a fact that she will take it out and hang it off the handle just so she can put her shopping under"

    if she does this then i suggest u take the change bag off and put it back under, and remove her shopping, tell her that hanging anything from the handle invalidates the warranty, which isn't 100% false, i knwo my icandy pear states that u can not use the bag clips u can get to hang things off of the handle as it creates an uneven weight distribution so any damage (bending/warping of chassis, damage to suspension etc) will not be covered by warranty....
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  • Dances-like-a-muppet
    Dances-like-a-muppet

    17/09/2010 at 10:07

    PM
    I love the idea of actually removing the basket underneath.....if you changing bag is hanging on the pram then she wont be able to put her stuff on their either......

    families !!!! hahaha they are so like marmite...love and hate them at the same time...xxx

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  • Dances-like-a-muppet
    Dances-like-a-muppet

    17/09/2010 at 10:07

    PM
    I love the idea of actually removing the basket underneath.....if you changing bag is hanging on the pram then she wont be able to put her stuff on their either......

    families !!!! hahaha they are so like marmite...love and hate them at the same time...xxx

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  • MrsDawson06032010
    MrsDawson06032010

    17/09/2010 at 10:09

    PM
    MummyLeanne, I can kind of see where you're coming from here. Hubby puts all his stuff in my handbag when we're out (2 wallets, phone, keys and anything else he needs to take with him) and it really does add some weight to my bag.

    I'm afraid that I can't really see how you won't hurt her feelings, being family and all, but if you really feel this strongly, I can only suggest that you tell her the proper reason. You could leave the changing bag under there and tell her that its staying there as you don't like it banging against your legs, which it would do if you hung it on the handle, or take the strap off so it has to go under the pram and if she asks, say you didn't think you'd need the handle as you'd be able to keep it in the basket all the time.

    Afraid that's all I can offer, but hope it helps a bit xxx
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  • MummyLeanne
    MummyLeanne

    17/09/2010 at 10:16

    PM
    Thanks for the suggestions.

    I really do wish she would take it so easy. I think like you say, I will just tell her but I can see alot of moaning and groaning on her behalf.

    The shopping basket will be for my shopping and changing bag since I will be the one pushing the pram around so won't have any free hands to carry my own and she does.

    I think its just the fact that she thinks that its her right that she can fill the bottom of my pram with her stuff.

    Thanks again xxx
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  • emmyjane
    emmyjane

    17/09/2010 at 10:37

    PM
    She calls you if you go out without her? and comes round when you get back?

    Come on? are you serious? lol

    Jesus sweetie you need to speak your mind and tell your gran to use her bloody trolley and you also need to be able to GO OUT WITHOUT YOUR GRAN giving you the guilt trip for HAVING A LIFE!

    Then you need a forsale board outside your gaff, I dont know how anyone can cope with family in their face like that? its beyond me! if this sort of thing is bugging you now I wish you some serious luck when the baby is here!

    I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER live NEXT to ANY of my family or my inlaws. lololol
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  • emmyjane
    emmyjane

    17/09/2010 at 10:40

    PM
    oh yeah and if she wont use her trolley - buy her a bloody pram then! so she doesnt need to cling to you everytime you want to go out! tell her your going round your friends or something!!
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  • MummyLeanne
    MummyLeanne

    17/09/2010 at 11:00

    PM
    The thing is, I dont have a choice. I live at home with my mum so obviously its her house.

    She gets upset when you tell her that you don't want her to go because she says that you don't care about her anymore. Annoying I know.

    xxx
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  • Jaynie-LivingDeadGirl
    Jaynie-LivingDeadGirl

    17/09/2010 at 11:45

    PM
    my mum still does it to me, my son is 3 and i still take his buggy shoppin every saturday because i know my mum will want to dump her shoppin on it. when i have this baby and get a nice new buggy i will be tellin her straight to bugger off im not havin her shoppin breakin my buggy!!
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  • MummyDocker24
    MummyDocker24

    17/09/2010 at 11:59

    PM
    this would really annoy me aswell and i know its hard n im probs just a bitch but i would juat tell her!! if my mum or inlaws wind me up i just tell them u have every right in my opinon xx good luck xx
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  • moonandstars-88968
    moonandstars-88968

    17/09/2010 at 12:20

    PM
    I hope I don't over step the mark here, but I get the impression from your posts that this thing with the shopping is just the tip of the iceberg and is representative of the fact that you feel you have to go everywhere with your gran. It sounds like she uses alot of emotional blackmail on you (and I assume the rest of her family) which is getting to you now, and this thing with the shopping is your way of making a stand.

    As much as you love your gran, you can't go everywhere with her, you need your own space. Perhaps it would make more sense to address this problem rather than the shopping thing as that won't really resolve the problem.

    Anyhoo, tell me to pull my head in if I've got it all wrong and it really is only about having to push round a heavy pram full of someone else's stuff!
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  • MummyLeanne
    MummyLeanne

    18/09/2010 at 04:08

    PM
    Yes she does use emotional blackmail alot of the time which is extrememly annoying because obviously I do care.

    Littlewolf its my grandma, my mums mum.

    I think that I'm just going to keep saying that when shes out with me my buggy isnt a dumping ground for her shopping and I think I might take up the idea of checking if the basket comes off.

    I know my mum wont do it though because if we go out with her sister (my aunt) she will offer my mum to put her shopping on her buggy but my mum will carry it as she says, she wanted it she bought it so its her shopping so shes going to carry it. I just wish my grandma had the same attitude.

    xxx
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  • Mummytoaweeprincess
    Mummytoaweeprincess

    18/09/2010 at 04:27

    PM
    I could be wrong but it seems to me that the shopping in the basket isn't the main issue here, its the fact that your gran won't leave you alone?! Perhaps you could have a chat with her and explain you love her company but you also need some space? Or get your mum to have a chat with her?

    Becks x
    41+3
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  • xCALLEIGHx
    xCALLEIGHx

    18/09/2010 at 16:54

    PM
    how about, when you are ready to go out with baby, tell your nan that you want to get bits and pieces for the baby so to bring her shopping trolly so you have room for it all!!! put your shopping in her trolly!
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