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30/03/2013 at 14:05
I'm bed ridden with SPD. In total agony. Can barely get to the loo without crying in pain. I'm stuck upstairs, can't manage the stairs at all.
H took N out swimming this morning and I think he collected some crutches for me from a friend while he was out.
He got home a while ago and I was fast asleep but he came up the stairs and loudly asked 'are you asleep' and woke me up. I mumbled a vague reply as was so sleepy and I think he went downstairs.
The next thing I know he's putting N on our bed and putting a f**king ladder up in our room right at the foot of the bed to get into the loft. Again I was fast asleep. N was all if a sudden rolling trains on me and H dropped something into the bed from the loft which lands on the covers with my foot directly underneath. He then puts the ladder away and starts getting stuff out of drawers/getting changed etc.
At no point has he asked if I'm ok, how I'm feeling, if I need anything. When I asked him why he felt it was ok to wake me up he purely said 'you were just dozing' I mean WTF?!
He then took N back downstairs as they are off to town. 10 minutes later her brings N back up telling him to say goodbye to mummy, I get a lovely kiss and cuddle and N goes downstairs. H is oblivious as to why I'm in tears. 'What's wrong with you?' is what he asks. Even when I spell out that he's woken me up, not asked how I feel, that I can't get downstairs even to get a drink or warm up my wheat bag he STILL doesn't ask if I need anything.
So I say 'just leave me alone' and he's gone. Like that. I'm now alone again, stuck upstairs. No idea if the crutches are downstairs, not having had any food or drink at all. I'm going to have to somehow get downstairs on my own and I'm in agony.
I'm just sat here sobbing.
IKIABU and that yes he's looking after N but is it too much to want him to care how I feel and maybe check if I need anything before he goes out, seeing as I'm stuck in bed?
I literally don't know know I'm going to get down the stairs but I am so fu*king hungry and thirsty it's ridiculous and I need to warm up the wheat bag or make another hot water bottle.
Sorry to moan, I know it's ridiculous but I would like to think he'd care a bit more especially seeing as I'm 38 weeks pregnant.
30/03/2013 at 14:12
Are your parents near enough to come and help you?
That is bad of him. The being noisey thing they just don't get but not even finding out if you need anything isn't on. I think you need to call in the back ups! And if it's your folks hopefully he'll feel suitably guilty that you had to call them!
30/03/2013 at 14:13
You poor thing. Do you have a phone to call someone? You have to tell your h that you need help. And yes what an inconsiderate tool for waking you up and not looking after you.
30/03/2013 at 14:15
Aw I'm sure he does care but maybe he's just got his mind occupied with N, I know that's not an excuse but maybe he's trying to keep him entertained and just not thinking. We usually advise people to go up and down stairs on their bums if they can't mobilise due to fractures etc so maybe try that if you desperately need to get downstairs. What are u on pain killer wise?
30/03/2013 at 14:18
I could call my parents but I know they are crazy busy today as coming here to do Easter for me tomorrow. I have friends I could call too but as I've not even been able to get a bath yet as I have been alone all day and I am afraid of getting stuck getting in or out if the bath, I don't want to call them either!
I think I'm going to try and get down the stairs on my bum, see if I can see the crutches and try and make a sandwich then get myself back into bed. Hopefully by then H will be home.
I'm just so bloody annoyed at him. As you say the waking me up isn't that unusual / bad, but to not even ask if I needed anything has got me so angry at him!
30/03/2013 at 14:20
Sounds like the way my H would behave. With him, it's a kind of "look how much I am having to do and you're not, pity me" thing. I don't know the solution to it, other than trying to explain how it makes you feel once you're calmer with him.
Hope you manage to get something to eat and drink xx
30/03/2013 at 14:21
Just paracetamol CP, the OOH Dr last night told me it is all I can take as codeine and other opioids(?) can make baby really sleepy if I was to go into labour.
I know you're right and that he's focussing on N, and I really am grateful, hence why IKIABU but stilldk pi*sed off!
Shall go down on my bum and see how I get on - thank you x
30/03/2013 at 14:22
I wouldn't worry about not having had a bath! Don't be proud, do what you have to x
30/03/2013 at 14:28
I can't believe he hasn't even thought to bring you a drink at the very least! You're not being u reasonable Hep, he's being a git!!
30/03/2013 at 14:29
Oh lovely, not completely unreasonable to expect a bit of thoughtfulness when you're struggling so much, especially something to eat or drink wjen you can't even get downstairs. Make sure you have your phone on you if you're going to attempt to go down the stairs just in case! xx
30/03/2013 at 14:32
I thought low dose covodamol is ok? Although I'd go with what the dr says as things may have changed. X
30/03/2013 at 14:41
I made it downstairs, got all the butter/ham out and discovered we have no bread! !!!!
The Dr I spoke to CP said she only prescribed it in 2nd and early 3rd tri and that at 38 weeks she's really reluctant to say to even take 1x 15mg codeine as it'll be in my system for 4-6 hours. I'm not willing to risk a sleepy baby TBH after the problems I had with birthing N after having pethadine.
Lunch is a bag of hula hoops, a hot coffee and some Jaffa Cakes
This baby had better be worth it!
30/03/2013 at 14:57
Oh Hep!! Not your day lovely A bread less sandwich?! I wasn't allowed anything when I was pregnant with Ella and had SPD. It sucked!! Baby will totally be worth it and its not for too much longer now xx
30/03/2013 at 15:00
Thanks for the hug WS, much appreciated x
I have made it back to bed now and dosed up on paracetamol and junk food so am less upset. It's prob best H isn't here as he'd be feeling my rage and we'd only be arguing!
Bridesmaids is on so at least there is something I can watch on TV!
30/03/2013 at 15:07
Glad you made it downstairs, even if there was no bread! Hope your H spoils you tonight to make up for it! x
30/03/2013 at 15:08
Definitely not unreasonable, glad you have managed to get some food all be it an interesting lunch
30/03/2013 at 15:13
Oh babes, I just read this out to H and he said why doesn't she spell it out to him
I said he shouldn't need it spelling out and he said well we men do! Yes now kicking his bum in support of you
I am so glad you got down the stairs and got some food and am giving you queue jumping permission. I just wish you weren't having the pregnancy you are. 4 weeks and it will definitely be over chick xx
30/03/2013 at 15:22
Thank you VE, your reply has made me laugh alou which is very cathartic! Strangely comforting that another man would react the same way as my H and need it actually spelling out Give your H an extra little kick from me though
Thanks also for the queue jump permission, here's hoping neither of us are waiting long eh! Xxx
30/03/2013 at 16:13
Oh Hep, really sorry to read how bad your SPD is, and that you've been left feeling extra cr@ppy due to your H. You really are not BU, at all, that's great he's looking after N, but of course he should be, you can't move. Leaving you without anything to eat or drink is really not on, and I'm sorry it's happened and you've been left in tears. Sometimes people really behave in the oddest ways, I bet (and hope) he has thought about it and is feeling very guilty now.
The fact that there was no bread when you made it downstairs must have made you want to give up completely!
I hope you are a bit more comfortable soon, and manage to get lots of rest today. Big hugs x
30/03/2013 at 21:24
You're definitely not being unreasonable, I hope he's been better with you since your last update x
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