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07/07/2013 at 19:21
P is now 10 weeks and i still have no real routine. I am trying to solely bf in the day and do one formula top up before bed but we have no routine. P will sometimes go 3 hours max between feeds but usually more like 2. She will feed for 45 mins ish and will either not settle at all and cry straight away or be happy for naybe 20 mins then cry again and will only settle with bfing. I dont know if she is really still hungry or if she is sucking for comfort. Yesterday the only time she wasnt crying is when she was feeding. She cried all day long. I dont think its her reflux as its not her "pain" cry. I am exhausted.
Today i topped her up with formula after her morning feed and she did settle for a bit longer so now i wonder if she is hungry a lot and needs more top ups. I cant do much more to increase my supply as i am bfing all day anyway, do skin to skin, breast compressions etc. I feel a bit exasperated. When she is happy she is smiley and cooing but then some days she cries all day. I have switched to anti reflux formula and ditched gaviscon to see how things go. The weird thing is she usually settles well at night?
I am worrying that whenever she cries and nothing else soothes her i bf her as i dont intend to bf past 6m and am not sure in reality i will get much past 3m. Last night she cried in bed and wouldnt settle which is a new thing so i bf her and she went off, but that was after solid cluster feeding from 6-10 and a 4oz top up so i am almost certain she wasnt hungry. Am i making a rod for my own back soothing her and getting her to sleep with bfing? What do i do when i decide to stop? She will ocxasionally take a dumny but it falls out as soon as i ler go.
I am sure it wasnt this hard first time round. Any advice would be hugely apreciated. I just feel we are in no routine at all...
07/07/2013 at 19:27
It all sounds normal to me, especially the cluster feeding. Tbh I just went with it with my son and fed on demand, let him nap on me, slung him but I know with no2 it won't always be that easy. Is she crying when on you or is just when you try and put her down? If the latter maybe a sling would help?
07/07/2013 at 19:41
The problem is i have a 4 year old and i am constantly telling her i cant play as i am always bfing or trying to console P. Its tough as G was sleeping through from 8 weeks and feeding 4 hourly like clockwork but i know all babies are different of course. Some nights G has a sandwich with salad for tea as i cant physically cook.
I have a sling which helps a little but i still cant cook etc.
I am torn between carrying on bfing as it seems to be the only way to soothe P and stopping bfing so we can get into more of a workable routine ...
07/07/2013 at 19:42
Meant to say she usually cries when i put her down or she will be happy for 20 mins then cry. Sometimes rocking will stop her but sometimes i try literally everything and bfing is the only thing that works.
07/07/2013 at 19:47
I have no advice but my mum breastfed me until I was 2 yrs old, but only managed with my sister until 6 weeks as she said the logistics when you have an older child just made it impossible for her.
07/07/2013 at 19:48
I cooked with a sling. A sandwich for tea whilst you all settle in wont do her any harm but I appreciate you want to spend time with her too. Can you get your H involved taking the baby for half an hour or something so you can do an activity with your girl?
I know plenty of formula fed babies with no routine, who don't sleep through etc, I think often its more the baby rather than the milk they have. If you want to move away from bfing then obviously that's fine but I don't want you to think formula will fix everything when it might not, I'm only saying that as I had a friend that did and regrets her decision.
It will get easier x
07/07/2013 at 19:49
I find I am holding S far more than I did I. She is 11 weeks and I don't feel we have a routine either!! She feeds far more during the day which does mean she is not up so much during the night which is good but like you I feel I is missing out as I am always with #2.
What I tend to do is leave #2 to cry and sort #1 out as sometimes that is the only way.
I was going to bed at between 6-7 p.m. at 11 weeks and S is still downstairs with us every evening so totally different.
07/07/2013 at 20:40
Having M to deal with was a big factor in me stopping bfing H.
Do what works best for you guys xx
07/07/2013 at 20:59
It sounds normal and at 15 weeks E is not really in a routine. I'm not sure switching to bottles will help though surely that is extra work with sterilising etc? Could it be the heat why she is unsettled? I know babies do feed more as they get thirsty just like us. Xx
07/07/2013 at 21:15
It sounds pretty normal to me. Could you get some new books, sticker books etc that you could do with your older child on e the baby is latched and happy feeding?
A was only 18 months when L was born and I found we read lots of books, did lots of colouring, stickers, fuzzy felts and similar while I was feeding him.
07/07/2013 at 21:52
A is barely in a routine now, and certainly wasn't at 10 weeks. Apologies if this is a stupid question, but could it be the weather? A has been really unsettled and quite fractious (more than usual!), and I'm sure it's down to the heat.
I suggest this very cautiously (because A now relies on it and it's VERY restrictive for me), but will she suck on your upturned little finger? A won't take a dummy AT ALL, but will suck on my finger which will either calm her if she's got a bee in her bonnet over something, or fall asleep if she's tired. I think it's because it's fleshy and a bit nipple like.
07/07/2013 at 22:30
Aww MM big hugs, I've been asking much the same recently and have been finding things very tough too. It is so, so tiring but that sounds normal. We kept trying a routine and.the nights were still awful so last night it was balls to the routine and he slept through without being on someone (albeit for his grandparents!). I think its hard to have a routine when their feeding and napping is all over the place. I was told to just relax and go with it and I'm trying but its tough. His feeding has just spaced out to every 3-4 hours now in the day at 14 weeks so hopefully you will find the same and she will become faster at feeding too. Can anyone take the baby so you can have some time with your big girl? Or as.someone said, have some relaxing time together on the sofa with stickers etc?
Some days my lo is more fractious than others and cries loads more and others is so much happier. Also he 'broke' about 11weeks and the nights went to pot, I think its a wonder week and them becoming more aware of their surroundings. I wouldn't worry (easier said than done and I've been told lots!) to not worry about the so called rods and just do what works and what you need to get through the day. I manage to cook in my sling, I put an apron over him! It's not the easiest but I'm getting better and the sling has saved my sanity. Sandwiches won't hurt her for a short while and it is only a short time despite feeling like a looong time right now.
Anyway, keep going. You're not alone and its not easy (and I only have one lo!) x
08/07/2013 at 08:15
Thanks so much everyone. We had the same thing last night of P not wanting to settle. Tried a dummy which she took all the time i held it in but as soon as i
I let go it falls out and she cries so after an hour of that and me crying i gave in and bf her to sleep again. I am going to try and get her to take a dummy during the day more. I am just worried that if she gets too reliant on the bfing to sleep that we will really struggle when i stop.
Yes i think i will have to try and find simple things to do with G. I discovered yesterday you can play Guess Who one handed!! Unfortunately H cant take over with P during the week as he doesnt get in till 7 and G is getting ready for bed by then and P is in cluster feed mode.
It may well be that the weather is a factor.
Sorry to hear you are struggling too Smarties. The toughest thing is you dont know why they are crying. I gave P more top ups yesterday after her crying all day on Sat and she did cry less so i think perhaps she does need a little formula in the day. I guess its just a case of taking each day as it comes but some days its so hard! At least i know i am not alone and all this seems normal...
08/07/2013 at 08:26
Sorry it was bad again last night, same here! You're definitely not alone! We have the same problem with a dummy, comes out when I stop helping. Maybe she will find her hands soon?
08/07/2013 at 09:49
We're at 19 weeks and A has just 'broken'! We were getting roughly 3/4 hours between BF and then down from 11pm to 5am from about 11 weeks. It even went ok on holiday after he got used to the heat, and he carried on sleeping to 5am.
Since we've been back I seem to be feeding constantly, and he is going down at 11pm (feeding to sleep), then up at 3am, 6am, then 10am. I really need him to get back to sleeping longer through the night as getting my sleep in 2 hour chunks is so tiring!
He became much better between feeds at about 15 weeks when he was able to actually play with things. We also started the Baby Whisperer 'EASY' routine, which took a couple of weeks to get into, but down seem to generally work for us. He was quite resistant to napping without being held to sleep though, so we use the white noise A LOT - could this maybe help? It feels like I'm leaving him to shout for ages, but we have the slumber bear and it only plays for 3 minutes, in which time he is asleep, and now he is starting to self settle much better.
08/07/2013 at 11:34
There is absolutely nothing wrong with breast feeding her to sleep, at this age they want the comfort of their mother and sometimes need that to help them settle at night also she may just have wanted a snack before bed it's understandable! especially in the heat. Please don't see it as 'giving in' try and enjoy the quiet night time sessions if you can.
08/07/2013 at 11:50
I agree with willow, at 10 weeks she won't even realise she's not still a part of you anymore. Evening and night feeds are crucial in milk production as well, it's one of the reasons babies cluster feed, in effect putting in their order for the next day.
08/07/2013 at 12:55
I am thinking a slumber bear might help her settle.
I dont think she wanted a snack last night as i had just bfed her and topped her up with a bottle and then we went straight upstairs.
I will just go with it and see what happens. More than anything i am worried something is wrong as she cries so much....
08/07/2013 at 16:44
I felt the same about A aroumd that age, that something must be wrong as she was crying so much. It was only a couple of weeks ago, around the 12 week mark, that things seemed to change and she's now a lot easier to deal with (this ridiculous heat notwithstanding).
Looking back, I think she was just colicky.
09/07/2013 at 09:33
Seems to be a bit of a pattern with all our LOs!
Having said all that yesterday was bliss. P woke at 6am for food so i fed her in bed with me for an hour. She was asleep when she finished so i put her in her moses basket and got up at 7. Got G up. Had breakfast, just me and G whilst P slept so got to have a proper chat with her. Got G and me washed and dressed. G watched half an hour of Disney while i got P up and drwssed and topped her up with bf before leaving to get G to preschool. P slept from 9-11 and i fed her again at 11 abd got G from preschool at 11.30 then we all chilled in the garden most of the afternoon and had a picnic. P was really happy and chilked (and so was i!!). Fed P at 4 and have her a 2oz formula top up and then she fell asleep so i started dinner. She got grumpy around 5.30 so i finished doing bits and pieces with P in the Connecta while G did drawing and P fell asleep in the carrier. P was awake most of the evening but happy. Fed her from 7-9 solidly (which is fine as i get to watch my soaps lol!) formula top up and then bed at 10. She cried a little and then went to sleep unaided!! Lets hope today follows a similar pattern as it worked perfectly and everyone was happy!!
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