Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
01/12/2013 at 20:16
Last monday i went to the doctor to get my 3 months of the pill and he then tells me that im pregnant and i found out that im 5 weeks this week, after i stopped crying and picked myself up of the ground i called the dad who i have only been seeing for 8 months to tell him, he told me from the time that we have met that he never wanted children and to be honest i didnt think i could have children so this was all a huge shock to both, he called a clinic in England about me getting rid of the baby and i cant do that, he still tells me that he does not want this and that i will ruin my life and his and that keeping it is not a option. Well im keeping it i cant do that to this baby, so im going to do this alone.
I have to make a appointment with the doctor to talk to them and be told what i am aloud to eat and not what im aloud to do and not. When i was in the doctors he said i just have to keep to the same things that im doing and i should be ok and im trying except that i played rugby so thats now a big no no.
I have pains that i can only describe as my period pain and its not all the time but i keep checking to see if im having my period? i have had no spotting or anything like that and fingers crossed that i dont.
i started taking TODAY the "pregnancy support folic acid vitamin d and b vitamins" from boots is this even right thing to do?
a very very scared girl
01/12/2013 at 20:55
02/12/2013 at 00:08
Thank you so so much Sarah
I have to go to the doctors this week and im sure they will send me to a mid wife these cramps are weird they happen when im either sitting or sleeping, like i have not had any morning sickness or anything that pregnant women get except my breast are soooo sore and painful...
I dont know about him changing his mind at all just preparing to doing this alone!! xxxx
02/12/2013 at 07:52
hey hun. like sarah said your not alone were all here for you.
im 9 weeks 3 days with baby number one. at the start i to had cramps that felt like severe period pain. my mums a midwife and she said its the uterus contracting and stretching ready for the baby. a hot water bottle helped me.
02/12/2013 at 10:10
02/12/2013 at 22:06
You hang in there you are tougher than you think. I raised my son by myself its not easy but if I can do it I have faith you can. And all the love they give you make everything worth it. Hang in there you got this.
02/12/2013 at 22:35
Thank you all so much for this ladies...
I went to my doctor today and im getting the full check up on thurday and have a scan on the 16th to find the heartbeath..... so please god fingers crossed.
Its not the most ideal thing in the world but let him live everyday knowing that he has a son/daughter in the world that he never wants to see or know how it is doing, i know been a woman that hard to do but i think that you kill me knowing i was missing out on it!!!
im just freaking myself out thinking something is going to wrong with the baby
again ladies thank you all so much this does make me feel so much better and not alone in all this
03/12/2013 at 11:02
You sound like a woman who knows her opitions & has thought them through well. You have started on the right tracks, folic acid & vitamin D are both good for you & your unborn baby (folic acid helps absorb iron & can help the developing baby in your 1st 12wks of pregnancy, vitamin D will help prevent Pre-eclampsia as well as helping bone development).
There is a lot to take in & remember during pregnancy & you won't be the only woman with fears/concerns, almost everyone goes through it even if they've had children before. Every pregnancy & birth is truly unique so nobody can tell you 100% what to expect within yours. Enjoy every moment & surround yourself with friends & family, your hormones can see you reacting in strange new ways (you may find yourself crying at a film you've seen hundreds of times before, you may find yourself yelling at people for no obvious reason, you may find yourself cooing over every baby you see....) but it's all normal too.
As for baby's father, many men panic at the initial thought of 'parenthood' as they see their lives changing drastically. Sadly this is not the 'olden days' where he is expected to instantly propose marriage, get a job & be ever more faithful to you & baby (though it is nice when they do) BUT he should also note Abortion is NOT 'the easy way out' many perceive it to be.
Abortion will entail you undergoing counselling to ensure you are aware of what you are about to do & that it is YOU wanting to do it (YOU are the one that is pregnant after all). After that, unless you have good medical reasons to terminate the pregnancy, you can expect to pay a substantial fee for the procedure to be performed privately. If you were to go ahead they would then undertake the procedure to end the pregnancy leaving you with much the same symptoms of miscarriage (heavy cramps, bleeding for several days/weeks, a sense of loss/guilt....) & he will be reminded by your emotions as your hormone levels return to normal (they will also advise sex is off the cards for a good few weeks until you are certain you've had your 1st period, you will be extra fertile having been pregnant). Most men faced with this reality don't want abortion either.
Let him know your choice but don't let him be your soul support (mums, sisters & friends are all great for this too). Whether he chooses to accept further down the line or not he can't escape that this will be his child & he will have responsibility to help you support your child until they reach adulthood. It took two of you to create & it will take two of you to raise (even if in his case this simply means a contribution of wages...). Best wishes & good luck.
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