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08/04/2013 at 11:23
Maybe its because i'm finding breastfeeding hard at the moment and didn't have an especially good night, but i'm feeling really fed up of A. She's taking ages to latch on, and when she does it hurts because she's not on right (I have someone coming out to see me this morning about this). People always say that you get this overwhelming feeling of love for your baby, but right now I don't feel that - she just irritates me and annoys me that she's not feeding right. I'm sick of feeding her what feels like all the flippin time and don't seem to have any 'quality time' to bond with her.
Does it get better? Is it normal? We're starting to wonder if this 'magical time' actually exists or is just a myth
08/04/2013 at 11:31
I massively sympathise, I had similar troubles with breast feeding and it's really tough! Do you have family around who could pop in, I know they physically can't feed her for you but I found just moral support made a big difference. Also could you try expressing? Do you hav
e a local breast feeding support group? Rest assured it will get better, hopefully a breast feeding counsellor/midwife can help you with the latch, have they checked for tongue tie?
08/04/2013 at 11:34
Sorry sent too soon, also nipple shield could help temporarily to assist latch and help your nipples recover. Also its OK to consider your needs as well as the babies, you have to do what is best for both of you. best of luck x x
i didnt want to read and run Nenas, but i think from what you are saying it is pretty normal. I remember feeling like this after spending 8 hours one night trying to bf L, it really got me down and the next day i was so teary and i felt like i couldnt cope and i couldnt do anything. H took L from me and i literally slept all day; waking for feeds, but the next day i wondered what i had been worrying about. A good nights sleep does wonders for you.
It does get better and once feeding is established properly it will get easier. that magical time is there but its hidden under all the hard work. Try to enjoy it as much as you can. I hope the latch gets better once someone has been out to see you xxxx
08/04/2013 at 11:35
Oh I could have written this (apart from the breast feeding part). I am so fed up of hearing A cry and nothing being good enough for her that I sometimes just feel annoyed by her :-( I just don't know what to do anymore as I feel I have tried almost everything. We have about ten minutes of loveliness a few times a day and that's it, the rest is just stress. I'm wondering if the people I see posting on fb about their 'princesses' are actually having as wonderful a time as they make out! Sorry you're having a *** time nenas, I'm sure it does get better I just can't remember when lol.
08/04/2013 at 11:38
I also agree with poppy seeds, lack of sleep and all the hormones have a lot to answer for and can make you very teary and anxious. Try to get a friend or family to watch the bsbt so you can get an hour or 2 of sleep, it will make a big difference. X x
08/04/2013 at 11:54
Oh yes, totally normal. And a lot of people on Facebook are lying. It's not all gazing dreamily at a cute baby, far from it sadly. And feeding issues are SO tough, that's why BFing rates drop rapidly in the first couple of months. Great that you are getting help - keep nagging till it's sorted (has she been checked for tongue tie by several people - I swear it's at the root of 90% of feeding issues). Once BF is properly established it's so easy - it IS worth going through the tough times, I promise.
If you can, get out of the house every day. Meet up with other mums in a similar situation - go to a BF group, Bumps and Babies or something similar (your local NCT are bound to have some activities you can do with a teeny tiny). Failing that, bung baby in a sling, put some happy music on your ipod and go out for a walk - the amount of people who will coo over a baby in a sling always used to cheer me up. Babies are SUCH hard work, and for so little reward in the early days - once they start smiling, feeding more easily, sleeping a bit longer and generally just getting more used to the world, they are much easier and do get a bit more fun.
08/04/2013 at 11:55
It def gets better. I felt v similar when H was small and felt trapped (no feeding issues but ill myself). I got hubbie and mum to do more (all but feed) and then gradually I stated to do more. I'd say it started to get better around 6 weeks and now is loads better. I still have some annoyed days but they are now in the minority at 9 weeks.
I also haven't had the overwhelming rush of love but its def grown more and nuts over the weeks.
So sorry you're feeling like this but it is normal and will def improve
08/04/2013 at 13:32
Big hugs Nenas, I think its normal especially when you're struggling with feeding. We were cup feeding this time last week and he was starving but I couldn't get him to latch and the feelings of frustration were overwhelming. We have made big progress and have been bfing since weds and have found out he's gained loads of weight already so although latch is still difficult and not 100% we are doing something right. Definitely go to as many bf help groups, check if your hospital does them or La Leche League. Pester them until its sorted as once you get it you'll feel so much better. I also agree wareith getting your H and family to do as much as possible, you just focus on sleep and feeding.
Keep going, you're doing fab...it is hard, harder than I ever thought it would be. The change from being able to do what you wanted when you wanted, including tiny things like a cuppa/shower is very hard to get used to and I don't know about you but where the f does the day go?! Look after yourself xx
08/04/2013 at 13:37
It's normal to feel like this. I promise you. You do need to get her latch sorted or looked at, and get A checked over for tongue tie. In the first few weeks its all take take take, BF is really hard but persevere as it does get soooooo much easier.
My friend gave me the name of a great breast feeding counsellor/lactation consultant that I can give you? I never used her but she really recommended her.
And lastly, please message me through FB if you want a bit of company, support, coffee, cake, someone to mind A for an hour or three while you get some sleep, whatever. Offer is there (and totally genuine) xxx
08/04/2013 at 14:17
Thanks everyone, good to know its not just me. H has great paternity arrangements so is off for another 2 weeks still, and he's being great just letting me feed sleep and eat, and he's doing everything else. BW, that's sweet of you to offer to watch her or keep me company - will bear it in mind if there's any time between H going back to work and your little man arriving!
Woman i've just seen thinks A might have a posterior tongue-tie so has referred us to a lactation consultant at the hospital for this afternoon, so hoping she can help too somehow Will get that name from you BW if i think i need more help after today :)
08/04/2013 at 14:23
We had a posterior tongue tie - def get it snipped as soon as you possibly can, it will make a world of difference. In the meantime, google flipple and deep latch technique as this should help make your milk transfer a bit more effective.
(And to give you an idea, once R had her PTT cut she went from feeding for an hour every 1.5 hours (constant!) to 15-20 mins every 3-3.5 hours. And her blocks of night time sleep increased from 3 hours to 6 hours. Her weight gain was better, her wind improved and she was generally much more settled).
08/04/2013 at 14:26
That's good to hear your H has another 2wks off with you - I might not be around too much after that, but if elvis doesn't arrive in the next 2wks, let me know if you want a coffee at bluewater. Let me know if you need the name of the consultant x
Hang on in there x
08/04/2013 at 15:35
I felt like this last week, and still Have moments when I do, times when she is still fussing with feeding and breast feeding isn't enjoyable. I also wish that I could miss just one feed so I could have a decent block of sleep, but lots if supports from mummies has helped and the fact that every day is a little easier. Big hugs fb me if you need it x
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