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14/06/2013 at 17:45
So my h is 10 days old today and we have been through a lot already.. Now settled into formula feeding which he seems to be happy I with.
my h goes back to work next week and everytime I think about it I feel sick and cry.. I know it's my hormones particularly worse at this time of day when I start to dread nighttime. Just looking for reassurance that these feelings will go away and that others have felt the same...
14/06/2013 at 17:49
I promise these feelings will go. I still dread bedtime every now and then but not as much as i did.
I was also terrified at the thought of H going back to work and me coping with both P and G and this is my second child! You will be fine when H is at work i promise and it does get easier xxx
Absolutely felt the same, 100%. The thought of it is considerably worse than the actual thing. Can you plan to do something on that day...maybe go to a friend's house or something? My H did loads of stuff for me when he was off, things like getting me drinks, changing nappies etc which was great, but i asked him not to on his last few days so I could get use to doing it all myself.
You'll be fine, honestly.
14/06/2013 at 17:53
I know I will... I hate feeling like this.. Dam hormones hey. I have tried to do it all today so that I'm not relying on h so much bless him he hates seeing me upset..
My mum is off on Monday and she only lives around the corner and I have lots of friends nearby too so I really have no reason to be scared.. I think it's just the whole thing that's scary.. I'm normally so in control...
14/06/2013 at 18:00
This is the biggest thing you will ever do so it would be weirder if you werent a little scared by it.
Oh and after i had G i cried every day for at least 2 weeks with baby blues but it really will pass. I too am usually so in control but having a new baby is really like nothing else snd nobody can prepare you for it. Bear in mind you are sleep deprived too.
You will be in a routine in no time and make sure you call on friends and relatives if you do need some support. And get out and about! Dont sit in looking at 4 walls - it will drive you nuts. Dont suppose you are Kent area for a meet up?? X
14/06/2013 at 18:03
I think it's the sleep deprivation more than anything. All through pregnancy I slept like a baby and I'm a girl who is used to at least 8 hours straight...
I'm in norfolk so too far for a meet up :(
I do have fantastic support around me tho and I'm sure once I get a few days under my belt ill feel better
Thank you x
14/06/2013 at 18:09
It does get easier i promise. In the mean time did you do any antenatel classes? My group stayed in touch and i found them a real support (still do!) as aour babies are all the same age almost xxx
You really will feel better soon. As Nenas said, the thought of it is worse than doing it.
Keep talking to us too! X
14/06/2013 at 18:10
No I didn't do any but I have two friends who have recently given birth too so I'm going to hook up with them next week as well.
Mm.. Your all wonderful!
14/06/2013 at 18:11
I second that Willow. There is a group of 12 of us from my antenatal class who are still in touch 4 years later x
14/06/2013 at 19:25
I was absolutely terrified when H was going back to work, I was still really struggling after my c-section and could envisage me getting stuck on the sofa not able to get up and being there all day. The midwife was so lovely she even arranged to pop in on her lunch break and check I was ok.
Anyway, the reality was much much easier then thinking about it and very quickly Zoe and I got in to our own little routine and it was fine.
14/06/2013 at 20:13
I feel exactly the same. Not helped by the fact that H going back meant two weeks alone and after a section that was difficult as I couldn't bath E or lift from the floor..
However *whisper* its so much easier to get out and into a, not routine as such but pattern, when they aren't here!
14/06/2013 at 20:32
It is INCREDIBLY overwhelming. I spent most of the first few weeks in tears, even though i was so happy! It does get better and i promise you will be ok on your own.
My advice is get out the house. A walk up the road, a coffee in town, baby groups and cafes. Not really proper ones where they do stuff but i found bumps and babies (which is a coffee morning really) was fabulous and it was life saving to chat to other ladies in the same position. Google your local sure start center and ask you HV for days and numbers of groups etc. Getting out and about in the day makes the nights a zillion times easier.
14/06/2013 at 20:34
Just thought of another thing, my H used to make me up a packed lunch so that I didn't have to find time to prepare it as well as eat and it meant i could just grab it when I got a chance. I don't think I would've bothered eating if he hadn't done that.
14/06/2013 at 23:06
It does get better, I promise. My H did a week away on a training course early on, and we got through it. He's just come back from his first 3 week trip offshore. I was dreading it, I was so worried about how I would cope. The truth is, you just muddle through it when you have to. It is definitely scary though!!
Go to as many groups as you can - we have something most days, even if it's just visiting my mum, otherwise I'd go stir crazy in the house all day with a baby. You will be ok.
14/06/2013 at 23:41
I found it much easier to get into my own routine with baby when H had gone back to work.
Get yourself out and about as much as possible. I've had to wait in for a MW nearly every bloody day this week and I've slowly gone nuts. I went with Mr R to collect M from school today and it was so nice to get out.
15/06/2013 at 07:35
You will be fine- my H went back after a week and I was terrified- there will be some days where it all goes to pot but try not to let them get you down- they will pass. The absolute best thing to do is eat out and about- seeing real life continue around you does make it easier to deal with the sleepless nights (I was also a 8-9 hour minimum a night girl but you get used to less/broken sleep).
If you don't get out everyday never underestimate the benefits of a hot shower- just getting clean and dressed (even if its just clean PJs) can make you feel 100 times better
15/06/2013 at 07:55
Thanks ladies.. Some good advice as always.. Feels better to know that I'm not alone..
15/06/2013 at 11:01
My H went back to work on a Wendesday and I remember crying beforehand wondering how on earth I'd manage (stupid hormones!). In the early weeks its a shock because you aren't really in control - the baby is. But you and the baby will figure out a routine that works for you both.
My H used to bring me cereal and tea in bed before he left for work. Making up a packed lunch is a good idea too.
And I found that just going out for a walk helped - if the baby was unsettled and crying but not hungry she would sleep happily in the pram.
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