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Chat < Pregnancy & Birth Clubs < Pregnancy

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  • Young-Mum-To-Be93
    Young-Mum-To-Be93

    11/05/2010 at 13:56

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    j

    [Modified by: CharsWifey on 12 May 2010 07:22:37 ]
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  • Dotty_Jackie
    Dotty_Jackie

    11/05/2010 at 14:38

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    Is this for real? I'm sorry but your boyfriend needs to get off of his backside and provide for the child that he has helped create. He shouldn't have the "whats the point" attitude, if we all had that then every child would be living in poverty. If he carries on thinking this way thats how your child will be bought up. You will be entitled to benefits once the baby arrives if neither of you are working, however in my opinion benefits should be there for those that can't work as opposed to those that won't. Also, what is stopping you from getting a job, there are plenty of women out there that work throughout pregnancy and find new jobs whilst they are pregnant!! If your post is genuine then i'm sorry about the situation you are in, but perhaps your moaning is better aimed at your boyfriend, maybe he'll be forced to do something about it!!
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  • LauraTaylor
    LauraTaylor

    11/05/2010 at 14:48

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    I agree with Dotty ur bf sounds like a d!ck!!! He needs to grow up and realise he has responsibilities! U both had sex i dont know if u used contraception but if ur both old enough to have sex u should be old enough to take care of the consequences otherwise dont have sex.

    Dont listen to ur bf and get urself a job even its alittle part timer cos im telling u now ??20 a week to feed the 2 of you then the 3 of u isnt goin to happen! Trust me!

    You need to tell ur parents that u feel really strongly about the living situations but hun the council wont just get u a house because u want one. Unfortunately alot of girls fall pregnant on purpose for this reason an i think they're tryin to put a stop to it and are only giving homes out to those who REALLY need it, like their mum has chucked them out but even then ur not guaranteed a home, they will probs put u in the likes of a womans refuge or a homeless shelter.

    I hope u get this sorted hun i really do xxx
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  • ruthiespoon
    ruthiespoon

    11/05/2010 at 16:02

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    I know you're saying that neither of you have any qualifications, but there's still nothing to stop the two of you looking for work. I have just started a new job at 17 weeks pregnant and my new employer has been great about it and supported me. There is work out there, it may not be the most exciting, but right now you both need to be saving for your new family and providing a comfortable environment. Good luck for the future x
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  • moonandstars-88968
    moonandstars-88968

    11/05/2010 at 16:20

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    Without wanting to sound judgemental, I think you need to start helping yourself a little.

    As you are 16 I assume that you are either still in full time education or have recently left. There are lots of ways for you to carry on your education, even while you are pregnant. You don't necessarily need to be in school - lots of colleges now provide education options for your age group, or depending on your Local Education Authority there may be colleges that cater specifically for pregnant teens. Try to think long term - be getting qualifications now you will be better placed to enter the workplace once you are able, and you will be giving your child a good example of what you can achieve when you put your mind to it.

    On the food front, when I was in my third year of my degree I was on a food budget of ??13 a week and did manage to eat pretty healthily. Lots of pasta and looking for bargains in the supermarket, but it is possible.

    Hope I haven't come across as patronising, I just think that there are ways of making your situation better for yourself, but perhaps at the moment you can't see the wood for the trees.

    Good luck.
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  • Mummy2K
    Mummy2K

    11/05/2010 at 18:50

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    Hi hun. I'm don't know where u live but I would advise u both to visit a Connexions centre to find out what training/education options are available in your local area. In the area I work as a connexions personal adviser, there are programmes for young mums and dads to be where you can prepare for your baby, gain qualifications and get ??30 per week without it interfering with any other benefits you're getting. You could also look for work although I know that won't be easy with being pregnant and the lack of qualifications but you never know...your boyfriend can certainly look for work. Has he tried registering with recruitment agencies? He could maybe get labouring work or factory/packing jobs??? In terms of housing, the best u might get for the time being is a mother and baby unit but this isn't guarenteed and also its likely that your boyfriend won't be allowed to live with u. Private renting won't be an option if u have no deposit or job even if you can get housing benefit. Also care2learn is a good initiative as once baby is born you will be able to return to education and get all or part of the childcare costs paid for so that you can better yourself. Your situation doesn't sound ideal and it must be difficult feeling like u can't provide for your baby. I won't start banging on about contaception etc because I will give u the benefit of the doubt and assume u know this now. Your focus now needs to be on improving your own situation I.e. Qualifications, housing etc so that you can do the best for you and your baby both now and in the future. If you would like to e-mail me you can and I can help you look into your options if you like. Xx
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