Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
10/12/2013 at 13:24
Just wanted to do a little update on us because we had such amazing support from all of you, Which I can thank you all enough for it really does help when your having a tough time, an esp shout out to Counter who has been absolutely fantastic and lovely (P.s Your in trouble for my flowers lol)
We have been on auto pilot this past week, and had a mix of emotions! as you can imagine, We had the horrible task of visiting our funeral director this morning, to arrange Jack's cremation, which is going to be held on Monday the 16th at 10:00am Just want to get my gorgeous little boy home as soon as possible.
Feel so much better knowing that he's going to be in his care from today and not at the hospital.
I hope to be here again soon and back to TTC - Jack has left a massive empty and motherly feeling in me (I hope that hasn't come across as horrible and moving on too quickly) I will never ever forget him.
Thank you all for your kind words and support xx
10/12/2013 at 13:31
It doesn't sound horrible or moving on too quickly at all. You have to deal with it in the best way you can. I haven't been through anything like you, but TTC was of some solace to me after my MC's, it somehow focused my energies.
I'm glad you're finding some peace in Jack being in the care of the Funeral Director. I'm sure it will be a lovely but emotive service.
Take care and I'll be thinking of you especially on the 16th
10/12/2013 at 13:39
CC, I have been thinking of you. I'm glad that you are finding comfort in Jack being with the funeral director as well. He's a lucky little boy to have you as a mother and I'm sure the service will do him proud. It doesn't make you sound horrible or like your moving on too quickly, you need to do what is right for you and I wish you all the best for your TTC journey. I will be thinking of you all on Monday xx
10/12/2013 at 13:40
lovely to see you. I hope Monday goes as well as it can and your day for jack is everything you want it to be.
Its not bad to think of ttc. I remember lying on the bed after William died saying to h 'please can we try for another' because I just had such a feeling if loss. My consultant says its totally normal so don't ever think you are forgetting your son
Will be thinking if u on Monday x
10/12/2013 at 13:47
Thank you ladies, you have made me tear up again!!
I am glad it didn't come across as heartless but it's exactly how you said Cherry pie, a feeling of loss... I feel so empty without him.
Midwives called today to check on me and told them we will be back soon so hopefully we will be lucky to fall pregnant again soon, although very scared it's going to happen again.
I have a consultant appointment to come so hopefully that will put my mind at ease
10/12/2013 at 14:28
Cc it's good to hear from you.
I'm glad that you feel more comforted knowing that jack will be with the funeral director. I hope Monday is all that you want for little jack.
It doesn't sound bad in anyway to want to ttc. I was exactly the same, as others have said it gave me so something to focus my mind on. I remember the total emptiness feeling and I am sending you lots of hugs.
I hope the consultant can offer you some reassurance about the future.
10/12/2013 at 14:30
That doesn't come across as horrible at all, so don't ever think that lovely.
After my Mum lost my sister, she had that "need" too, and I was conceived 2 months later.
When you become pg again, you know we'll all be here for any amount of hand holding you want/need.
You're all in my thoughts CC. x
10/12/2013 at 14:45
CC I saw your original thread and I was devastated for you but couldn't get logged on to post. I've been thinking of you and hope you're doing ok xx
10/12/2013 at 14:50
Yes I deff have that need, today I feel so much better that Jack's going to be looked after, Matt (FD) was so lovely, him and his wife live above the funeral home and so said that Jack is coming to a home, and I have felt that has given me so much comfort that he's around all the time and makes it feel like Jack's not alone, It's really given me some comfort.
We are having a very simple service nothing flashy just a lovely service for him.
I am very tearful and crying a lot, but I have such a supportive husband he's been fantastic and couldn't have done any of this without him he's my complete rock! I have an amazing family too and they have been fantastic.. as well as you ladies on here we may be small user wise but we are amazing in all situations!
It's lovely to hear from you CC. Don't feel bad about wanting to TTC again - i've two friends who've lost a baby and both of them said they only way they could even begin to heal the hole it left behind was to start trying again as soon as they could.
See you on the TTC threads soon - lots of love xxx
10/12/2013 at 15:16
So Lovely to hear from you, i know it goes without saying that we are all thinking of you everyday
i know that you will do Jack very proud at his service and i i know we will all be with you there in spirit
i hope to see you here soon, and i am sending all my love to you and your husband x
10/12/2013 at 15:25
Thinking of you CC, glad that little Jack is somewhere that you feel happier about and I will be thinking of him on Monday. You don't sound heartless at all, I haven't had experience of loss but imagine that I'd feel the same way xxxxxx
10/12/2013 at 15:53
CC I just wanted to add my hugs, love and thoughts into the mix. I've been amazed by your grace and courage throughout such a devastating time. My thoughts will be with you and yours on Monday xxx
10/12/2013 at 15:54
Just wanted to say you are in my thoughts xx
10/12/2013 at 16:19
CC that's made me all tearful just reading that. What fantastic people you have around you, from your friends here to the FD to your amazing husband. My loss was way earlier than yours, but I remember clinging to my husband crying and screaming but between the sorrys, repeatedly saying "we can try again can't we?". I had a huge feeling of emptiness and just wanted to be pregnant right away. I think it's completely normal xx
Will be thinking about you on Monday xx
10/12/2013 at 16:20
Thank you ladies,
Sweetpea - People keep telling me that I am being amazing and so brave... I think I am just on auto pilot and coping but when I am in bed with H I break down, I feel like a mess and that I don't feel brave or amazing or anything...
10/12/2013 at 16:35
Lovely to hear from you CC. Will be thinking of you, your H and little Jack on Monday. I am glad you have some comfort after going to the funeral directors. You are such a brave lady and seem like such a strong couple. There is nothing wrong with wanting to ttc again, when you are ready we will all be here for you xx
10/12/2013 at 16:49
CC, you've been awesome. Of course you have that love for little Jack and it's natural you're thinking about the future and giving that Mummy love again. I really hope Monday goes okay. Thinking of you every day xx
10/12/2013 at 16:55
I will be thinking of you and your family on Monday. You are obviously trying to be strong to get through it but there is nothing wrong with breaking down.
As for ttc, everyone handles grief differently and there is nothing wrong with you wanting to try again. It doesn't mean you love Jack less as he will always be special to you no matter how many children to have. Xx
10/12/2013 at 17:10
I feel so much better that you all don't think I am a heartless cow for wanting to try again. I am lucky to have Jack he was perfect and gorgeous (No idea how me and H made someone so gorgeous!)
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