Do you?

I've put J (9m) in his cot because he was up at half 5 and iHe is sobbing but I know he is v v tired. If I pick him up he will fall asleep on me and that's a habit I want to break because he isn't settling himself.

its breaking my heart listening to him though.. Should I get him? He is starting to stop and start again now

help!

I did with mine.

As long as they weren't crying due to pain etc, and as long as it wasn't blood curdling screaming, I left them. Especially if it was that "i'm not upset/hungry, I just want you to pick me up" cry. I know a lot of people don't agree with it, but it starte here due to having other children.

J was crying after being put down to nap, but I was half way through cleaning up C's leg after a fall, so left him for a couple of minutes, and he fell asleep.

I've done it with both of mine, sometimes there's nothing you can do but leave them to it.

He isn't hungry, hurting etc he just hates being in his cot. I just sneaked in and he is sitting sobbing with his eyes shut :( its so difficult to hear I may have to give in.. Il give it another 10 minutes

It is a personal choice and only you can decide whether to pick him up. If he's not hurting or hungry though, try not to get too upset. I shut myself out on the balcony for 5 minutes on Monday as both of mine were screaming at bedtime and I needed time out for myself! It's hard

I think as a mum you know what cry means what and when it gets to the stage where you need to go in and comfort them. Sometimes babies do a whiny cry before they go to sleep.

Thanks everyone, I needed to get him. He fell asleep on me like I said he would but he was still catching his breath, felt horrible :-(

We have just started this the last two nights out of sheer desperation. I never thought I'd have the stomach for it but something had to give. He was a great sleeper until 6 months when a combination of teething and a bad cold meant that we were comforting him and bringing him into bed with us every night and then he wouldn't go into his cot at all once he was better, and was waking 3 and 4 times in the night for nothing other than comfort as he wasnt able to self soothe. I got a great book from the library, Andrea Grace's Gentle Sleep Solutions and we bit the bullet and started sleep training on tuesday. Tuesday he cried for 40 minutes altogether with me going in frequently, it was awful and i cried but i could tell he was just frustrated that i wasn't giving in and picking him up rather than anything else iyswim? Then he just went off and slept through until 6am! Last night we did the same and he only cried for 15 mins before nodding off and slept from 9pm until 7:30 this morning xx

Exactly what Lindtbunny said. F has never really liked to be rocked to sleep, cuddled, etc and, whilst most of the time he's brilliant at self settling, there have been times when we've just had to leave him to cry. We obviously go in to him if he's hysterical for example but if its just a 'normal' cry or whinge, we leave him. I certainly don't believe it makes me, or anyone else, a bad mummy to do so x

Lucas was like this but I just couldn't leave him to cry. It took a few weeks but I would stay in the room patting his back for a while then he'd fall asleep, then I'd just stay sat next to him till he fell asleep, then I'd stay only for a few mins and then keep popping back in to him. Kind if like gradual retreat I suppose. X

cherry pie

Lucas was like this but I just couldn't leave him to cry. It took a few weeks but I would stay in the room patting his back for a while then he'd fall asleep, then I'd just stay sat next to him till he fell asleep, then I'd stay only for a few mins and then keep popping back in to him. Kind if like gradual retreat I suppose. X

wss. its literally only been in recent weeks now that she's 17mo and we're expecting another that I feel confident enough to leave her to cry for a bit longer until she self settles. I think she's only doing it because I'm pregnant and can't give her the attention she wants by picking her up. she usually settles within about 10/15 mins. Saying that, if she's screaming blue murder, one of us will go into her, because its equally distressing to me to hear that. 

I was another that partly did it because I had another baby on the way and I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep it up. At first I sat in the room and soon realised this upset her even more so I sat outside the door (often in tears myself). I know it's not for everyone and the guilt used to eat at me sometimes hearing people say they could never do that but it was just a point we reached. Like you it was often that she was over tired and actually not much that I did helped either. I made sure she was safe and warm and that she didnt 'need' anything, iirc she was 10 months when I started.

**Pip**

I was another that partly did it because I had another baby on the way and I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep it up. At first I sat in the room and soon realised this upset her even more so I sat outside the door (often in tears myself). I know it's not for everyone and the guilt used to eat at me sometimes hearing people say they could never do that but it was just a point we reached. Like you it was often that she was over tired and actually not much that I did helped either. I made sure she was safe and warm and that she didnt 'need' anything, iirc she was 10 months when I started.

This was us this week Pip, exactly. I was outside the door on the top step crying. I had always said I could never do it, even up until last week but when I read the book it made sense and so far it seems to be helping and we feel so much better for the sleep xx