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21/08/2013 at 16:11
is bloody hard
A (4) is driving me mad with constant tantrums and screaming. Have tried all sorts of rewards for good behaviour - she doesn't care. I spend my whole day shouting at her, she's going to end up hating me but I have zero tolerance of her just now and just can't deal with her
J (2) is wild. Draws on my walls and throws things - including glasses, doesn't listen when you tell him off, just thinks everything is a joke
I have no motivation to do anything which makes things worse. I'm so fed up with doing the same thing day in day out. It feels like we get up and I'm just counting down the hours til bedtime then we start all over again. A likes to draw and do jigsaws but rarely gets peace to do them cos J just wrecks everything. I've tried on several occasions to get out the house and do stuff and just end up coming home as one or both of them play up. Just drove 20 minutes to a nearby town and stayed 5 minutes before leaving as J kept throwing himself on the ground and refusing to get up. So many pity looks and comments of 'oh you have your hands full'. Hate going to friends houses as I'm so paranoid and just think people must be thinking how naughty and cheeky they are and I can't control them. Poor S just gets left in his bouncer or is stuck in the sling most the day
My friends who I've known for years came round the other day and commented on how I was just made to be a mum etc and that's my 'job'. I don't get why people think that of me, I must put on a good show - I'd love to have a proper career and do something with my life but god knows what. I just feel totally stuck in a rut and then feel bad cos I have 3 gorgeous healthy kids and should be happy but can't help but think 'is this it??'
No point really to this post as there's nothing anyone can do but needed a moan!
21/08/2013 at 16:17
Oh and my H works 12 hour shifts and doesn't have a day off til Monday so i'm on my own pretty much constantly :-(
21/08/2013 at 16:20
As my cow of a gil once said "theres more to life than kids" and she is right. Id suggest a night class or something but its more D's job thats a problem with that sort of thing than the kids.
S is still young and you're tired, it will pass and hopefully sooner rather than later! And i will remind you of this post when you go for no4.
planning things for each day helps, parks and outdoors as much as poss. Were you shopping today? I rarely take my two shopp
21/08/2013 at 16:21
Ing as theyre bored and its not much fun! Thats a 2 parent job
21/08/2013 at 16:25
Nope no shopping today, well other than J and S to Asda for 5 minutes!
And def no number 4!!
21/08/2013 at 16:29
I still don't know whether or not we def have thrush either so can't get a supply of milk going in the freezer so I can get out child free in the future!
21/08/2013 at 16:33
Can you go back to gp and check? And remember if you really need a break formula wont kill him. Better than a stressed out mum
i have 3 and yes it is bloody hard work so you have my sympathies. I usually find though that if its got really bad it's because I've got a little lazy - too many days not doing anything, too much tv time, not enough interaction. i'm not trying to make you feel worse but if i plan a few things for the week things are better - even if its just going for a walk, going into the garden.
i agree i hate going to other people's houses as i spend the whole time nervous that they are just causing chaos! i try and invite people here and most understand why (my closest friends only have one child each), this takes a lot of the pressure off playdates for me.
i got into a real rut a month or so back, i literally shut the children in the playroom and hid in another room as much as i could. and their behaviour and neediness got worse and worse! finally kicked myself into gear and got out and about, i started with a walk each day and this really helped. i also got my eldest helping with cooking/cleaning etc while the younger 2 are napping - he loves it as he gets interaction and attention and my jobs get done! is your 2 year old still napping? My eldest has a box of 'nap time toys' - jigsaws, drawing things - all the things the younger pair wreck and he knows we only get them out when the others are sleeping. he loves this, finds it exciting.
i hope you feel better soon
21/08/2013 at 16:35
Don't know what to do tbh, GP's seem a bit clueless about it all. Might see if they can take a swab of S's mouth to diagnose it properly
21/08/2013 at 16:40
Will j sit and draw while a does her jigsaws? Or can she do them in her room? My two love playing games together (and as you see on facebook love rolling about fighting on the floor too!)
21/08/2013 at 16:41
Oh and you are all welcome here
21/08/2013 at 17:37
Thanks Q, I really do need to make plans and I always say I'm going to but it doesn't last.
She doesn't want to do them in her room CK, wants me to do them but J just destroys them. Nothing I can do with him to keep him away. He isn't allowed to draw unsupervised cos he draws on the walls. Really need to find a toddlers to take him to, might have to take him back to the scummy one
God your house would be a mad house if we all came! Thanks for the offer
21/08/2013 at 17:56
God that sounds hard. Is A at preschool soon? Could you find a creche type thing that J could go to even one morning or afternoon, that could give you a break? Sounds like they've got energy to burn! Can you take them out to a park and do a nature hunt or something?
I've only got one and it's bloody hard work, so I don't envy you.
21/08/2013 at 18:00
I also find avoiding phones/laptops makes me feel more motivated and we do more. Otherwise i sit for ages.
take the hv up on the hell for a while if you need it x
21/08/2013 at 18:05
A is at pre school in the morning but if my H is working I don't always have the car so its a struggle to find somewhere I could walk to and get back for A on time. There's not much over here. Even our toddler group is off til Christmas cos the hall is being refurbed.
CK - I do need to get off my phone. It's so easy to be on it when they're having breakfast or watching telly, I'm addicted tho!!
21/08/2013 at 18:21
Is there a Playgroup you could put J in? Both of mine were in Playgroup from 2 and it was a lifesaver when L was small.
Is J interested in jigsaws? Would they sit on the floor and do their own with you in the middle ?
I find being out the house so much easier than in the house. Recently I e been sitting on my door step and letting them play at the grass at the top of the street and on their bikes. They are much happier outside and I can bribe them with it is today in Asda they were warned they won't get out to play if they didn't behave in the shop.
I'm free most Tuesdays and Fridays if you fancy soft play or similar x
21/08/2013 at 18:53
J will do them for so long then decide its more fun destroying A's lol
I do spend a lot of the time sat on the doorstep while they play on the cul de sac. Soft play would be good!
21/08/2013 at 19:49
Does Joshua have any groups or things that are 'his' he maybe needs something so he doesn't feel like he is only doing things like taking Abigail to hers. I know its difficult when you have the others but even a playgroup or something might be worth it. I know Phoebe loves hers and Aaron chats to her about it.
Can you not sit them at opposite ends of table doing jigsaws/drawing then you are there in the middle so the other can't destroy.
Make a weekly plan of things to do have wet/dry alternatives. My two just love going walks on scooters/bikes/trikes around the houses so.it doesnt need to be anywhere specific. We have found a new swing park we didnt know was there by wandering too.
21/08/2013 at 20:11
Poor J has nothing lol, think he's too wee to be bothered tbh. Will go back to toddlers round the corner in a few weeks I think, see if it's any better. One of us is going to take him swimming once a week too so he gets one to one time
Will try and sit with A each week and we can make a plan of things to do
Def wouldn't have time for a playgroup for him, wouldn't fit round nursery drop off/pickup
Thanks for all the advice
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