Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
15/08/2013 at 20:50
I'm really really not sure what to do for the best. I know what I want to do but I don't know whether it's the right thing to do iyswim and I'm hoping for a bit of help making a decision...
I'm really unhappy at work, I've been to hell and back over the last 12 months with te company, ended up going through the grievance process earlier this year and being off for a couple of months with stress. My grievance was upheld and they moved me to a new depot. However, this depot is further away from where I live and the job is not the same. I'm either mega busy and rushed off my feet (only really when we have breakdowns) or else I'm sat there twiddling my thumbs. All the parts of my job that I used to love doing are done by someone else at the new place and that's how it's always been. My boss has been awkward about my pregnancy and really funny about letting me take any time off and I always have to sort my own cover out. He's made it absolutely clear that this is a major inconvenience to him and that I will be expected to use my KIT days (I did tell him exactly where he could take that idea).
Before I got my bfp I was applying for lots of other jobs and if I hadn't fallen pregnant I really don't think I would still be there. 2 weeks ago I was in hospital for a couple of days then had a day at home before going back to work. The girl in the office that does the admin has pretty much ignored me since because "I know she doesn't like being left on her own" and the foreman put in a complaint because I hadn't called him to let him know what was going on (I'm his supervisor) and my boss had a go at me even though I explained I didnt take my works phone in with me only my own phone and I let the company know by texting my dad and asking him to ring the area manager for me!! (My boss was on holiday at the time).
A risk assessment has been done but it's not being followed and I feel really stressed and miserable at work. I'm exhausted by the time I get home so much so that instead of swimming three times a week I'm going once or twice a fortnight.
I have Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility type which affects all my joints and I've worked really hard for a long time now to build up my muscle strength and gain control of my joints but I'm no longer doing anything about this.
I saw a consultant today who has told me that as long as I can continue to manage the condition and my weight I can be midwife led but if it goes out of control or I have any traumatic events then I will be sent straight back to the consultant and will have to discuss any intervention that might be needed.
I have next week off work and then have 2 weeks annual leave after that. My original plan was to take two weeks from the 6th December then start my ML Christmas week with a view to going back (if I have to) in September. In the meantime I was planning to look for another job and am hoping to be accepted onto an initial teacher training course. I have worked out though that by the time I go back, I will have accrued 4 weeks worth of holiday and bank holiday leave to take and now I'm wondering if I could use this to bring my ML forward by 4 weeks to the 8th November. It will give me more time before baby gets here to make sure my joints are behaving and will take away the horrible way I'm feeling at work. I wouldnt technically be losing at the other end because I'd still be going back to work (whether that's the same place or somewhere new) at the same time as I originally planned but then if I tagged it to the end and I haven't got anything else lined up it's another month I could have with baby...
So my question is would you bring it forward or lea
15/08/2013 at 21:00
Not sure, but if I understood the post correctly, our company won't let you add holiday that you will accrue during mat leave to the start if its in another holiday year, if that makes sense. We can add it to the end.
I think ignore me as you are saying add it to the end as holiday which will allow you to take leave early! Sorry, my brain doesn't work too good.
If that's right I would do it. You seem so unhappy there and they don't seem to be in the slightest bit supportive of you. It's going to be hard enough working towards the end without all the pressure they are putting you under. I think it would do you and baby the world of good to be able to relax and concentrate on the two of you. So if the timing, money etc work for you then go for it x
15/08/2013 at 21:07
I would add the accrued holiday to the end so would have 2 weeks annual leave that I already have starting on 8th November then ML up until August next year then the 4 weeks annual leave/bank holidays accrued to September...
My brain doesn't work any more either lol it makes sense in my head...sort of!
Money was my only worry really but because I've been with the company so long I qualify for their enhanced package which is 12 weeks at 90% and I think I could manage with that
15/08/2013 at 21:16
Do it! They aren't suddenly going to be good with you, so bring it forward so that it is more bearable x
15/08/2013 at 21:19
How easily do you think you could find a new job when you need to? If you are confident that you could find a new job then I would leave on ML earlier. I only ask because I started looking for a new job the day I went on Mat Leave and 18 months later I am still there.
15/08/2013 at 21:51
I'm going to come at it from another angle. If it is causing you this much stress, is there any chance you could get signed off sick until the 4 weeks before your due date ?
15/08/2013 at 22:01
JB makes a good suggestion, what sick pay would you get? You have a condition that needs managed and I believe can be aggravated by pregnancy(?) and the stress you are under sounds unreasonable. I get the impression you wouldn't want to return there anyway so just get out ASAP then work on a plan to get something new at the end of your ML
15/08/2013 at 22:12
JB, If I went off sick I would be entitled to six weeks at full pay, the concern I have there though is with trying to find another job as it doesn't look to good really.
Weekender, it can be made worse with stress, fatigue and pregnancy and it takes quite a lot to be able to manage it. I was signed off at the start of the year after 6 dislocations in 3 months and being bullied to the point I was really properly ill.
I don't want to go back at the end, as heartnurse said though it's not easy to find something else and I'm not sure I could afford to not have a job so I have to plan with a view that I might actually have to go back. Honestly though if I couls leave tomorrow I would! They have been so unsupportive and an absolute nightmare to deal with.
15/08/2013 at 22:26
Pregnancy related illness as classed differently to normal sickness absences. In this day and age I would be surprised at any employer that gives out details of illness to a potential new employer, especially pregnancy related. If you were applying for any job that did ask for this information you could easily explain it as pregnancy related.
16/08/2013 at 06:39
I would be leaving ASAP. Yes you would have more time with baby, but what good are you to a baby this unhappy. Leave the very minute you can!
16/08/2013 at 07:48
What's your maternity package? Just remember that most businesses require you to pay additional mat pay back if you don't return to the company.
16/08/2013 at 08:03
wRustys, also re going off sick prior to ML, I think once you are past a certain point (20-something weeks?) sickness can automatically trigger the start of ML.
It sounds really tough, I'd be inclined to do as you say, start ML early and use the holiday at the other end.
16/08/2013 at 08:34
Oh Jem that sounds awful. JB makes a good suggestion but as Rusty and BG say, you need to check your HR/maternity policy for the following -
If you are signed off work with pregnancy related illness at what point do they automatically start your mat leave (my work is 36weeks) so hopefully it's a good date
Per your policy how early can you start mat leave before your due date? (I think my work is about 10 weeks or something)
If you don't return to work do you have to pay back any element of mat leave? (We don't have to pay back mat leave but everywhere is different)
In terms of pregnancy related illness, whilst we still record it at work its excluded for the purposes of calculating sickness absence (we are monitored on a 12 month rolling basis) so it's essentially ignored. I think that should be fairly standard as its an exceptional sickness reason if that makes sense. I.e. if you go back your not going to have pregnancy related illness again (unless you are pregnant again).
Is your work somewhere that there are internal opportunities or jobs elsewhere? So not in your depot and with new managers etc? I'm just thinking if you do go back will it be on the hours you work at the moment or will you be looking to do some flexible hours or anything that would mean you couldn't go back to the role you currently do and you could maybe fill another role in the business?
16/08/2013 at 21:25
Sorry I haven't got back to this sooner.
I've checked the mat policy and if I left I wouldnt have to pay anything back but I would have to give them 8 weeks notice instead of 4. I can start maternity leave from 11 weeks before my due date (wich is some time in October but then I really would lose out the other end) and any sickness after 12 weeks before due date would automatically trigger ML... So if I went off sick I'd be in the position of losing out at the other end.
I work for a really massive company, a lot of the local issues though are being passed down from area management so if I were to look for an alternative it would be in the next county and an hours drive each way. My role as it is now really isn't full time. Yes I need to be in the office every afternoon but could reasonably start later if other staff weren't such a pain about me not being there so I honestly think any request I put in for changed hours would be refused meaning I would have to go back to spending all day every day in a job I hate and for the most part having very little to do and having to leave my baby at home to do that!
Thank you all for all the help, I'm glad I've checked through the policy, we don't have the best HR department! Think going off sick would put me at a disadvantage more because it would mean ML starting earlier rather than for any other reason although it's good to know it doesn't count the same as other sickness does. I've had another really bad day and actually ended up yelling at my boss this morning because he got nasty with me, think that's tipped the balance now. I'm on annual leave next week so will put my ML application in first thing when I get back, to start in November with the rest of my annual leave on the front. That means I only have 11 weeks left at work and then I can concentrate on making sure I'm in as good shape as I can be to get little one here safely.
Thanks again, this place is great! xx
16/08/2013 at 22:02
Are you sure it is in the 12 weeks before the due date that sick leave triggers the start of ML because that doesn't comply with legislation, which states that if you are off with a pregnancy related illness in the 4 weeks prior to your EDD then your maternity leave is triggered.
16/08/2013 at 22:16
JB thanks, I'll check that bit again. I was sure that's what it said but my head is all over the place with this!!! Think I'm probably overthinking it and tying myself up in knots
17/08/2013 at 04:52
I think jb is right re: sickness. If I were you, and I was in your shoes with my first pregnancy, I would sign off sick till ML started then add accrued holiday on end. Nothing that is pregnancy related can be held against you. In fact drs are very eager to sign off pregnant women if any stress as it really isn't healthy
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