Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
04/12/2013 at 17:50
I've been a little lapse in posting regularly mainly as I'm still living in fear of things going wrong. If I'm honest the pregnancy has been a lurch from disaster to another which hasn't helped (Hyperemisis, being told I can't breastfeed, bump measuring too small etc..), although that all pales into insignificance when I read about what CC has gone through xx
My question is are NCT courses good if you know you're not going to be pushing? I've read a lot about how they not only educate you but put you in contact with other mums to be which sound great. My problem is I know I'm not going to give natural birth, in fact it's doubtful I'm even going to get a normal caesarian, at last week's Obsteric appt the anaesthestist came to see me and is talking about putting me under for the whole thing .
I already feel isolated because everything the midwife gives me/talks about is irrelevant (active birth, breastfeeding, eating well (impossible whilst spewing up constantly) etc..), although I want to go even just to meet other mum's, I don't want to come out feeling even more incompetent at pregnancy.
Thanks in advance xx
04/12/2013 at 18:08
For me, the primary reason for doing the classes was to meet others nearby in the same situation. Anything else I learn, whether about the birth, w hat happens after and how to look after baby is a bonus. We moved here a year ago and don't know anybody nearby. I've only done one class so far, and it has mostly focused on the birth, but next weeks is more about nappies, bathing and slings I think, then another class on breast feeding but that's a short one. Hope that helps xxx
eta - please don't feel isolated just because you'll be having a different birth x
04/12/2013 at 18:19
WMrs Penguin S. There's a lot of information besides the actual birth. Have you found anyone to talk to about this? If you know you're going to have a certain type of birth, you really need to find someone who you can speak to about it, otherwise you're kind of isolating yourself.
I had hyperemesis and whilst extremely grim, will not define my pregnancy. It sounds (and I mean this nicely) that you're focusing on the negative things and not what you actually can do. No point. The baby is coming out whatever. All you can do is find out all you can and find a way to mentally deal with it.
Are there any ante natal counsellors near you who you could talk this through with? If I may ask, how has it been decided at this stage that you can't breastfeed? Apologies, but I'm not sure of your history and am also unsure why you've been told you can't push when there is quite a lot of ducumented cases of women in comas who give birth without pushing. We're not designed to push, as I've read in my hypnobirthing book. Labour is perfectly possible without.
It seems like you can find out a lot more than you're being told; I'd arm yourself with info. This is your labour, don't just submit to surgery without information. xx
ETA - I didn't mean to sound harsh; it just sounds like you've totally given control to the medics without finding out what your alternatives may be. It's your birth; I think you may find you feel better about things if you've done a bit of research and clearde things up in your mind; I know I've had to with regard to one aspect of my labour. It did help to have reached a conclusion myself rather than just accept what I'm told. xx
04/12/2013 at 18:38
We did NCT classes the first time around and it was invaluable for meeting other people with babies due at the same time, and as we didn't know anyone in the area. The classes are very much led by what the participants want, so given 50% of our group were planning a home birth there was a definite leaning towards that. However we did act out what a c-section would be like, and when it came down to it my husband said he was very greatful as it meant when the 15th person came in to the room he wasn't that panicked.
How many weeks are you now ? Have you been given a solid reason why you can't breastfeed, if it is down to medication it might be worth looking at whether they are alternatives which you can switch to ?
04/12/2013 at 18:49
What others have said, there is a lot of other information other than birth. they basically cover babies first 6 weeks. changing, feeding, baby blues, how u as a couple cope.
Also we met some great couples!
One lady had broken her leg so she knew that she would be having a c-section and i think she still found it useful. yes the focus on vaginal births but they do talk about c-section options too and coping post c-section!
04/12/2013 at 18:51
First thanks for both your replies. You're right I'll admit I am feeling a bit fed up with it all today in fact I've spent most of the day in tears, so it probably did sound more negative than I've been through most of the pregnancy. Maybe today wasn't the best day to post...or maybe it was because I actually got it all out.
Anyway history wise it's difficult because 14 years on I still don't have a diagnosis but it's believed to be some to be some type of myelopathy (spinal cord disease). To see me you'd think nothing was wrong but it has its issues.The doc's have been good in keeping the options prior to the pregnancy and keeping communication channels open throughout the pregnancy and seeking opinions off lots of different consultants, but they've said when it comes down to it the safety of the baby will make the ultimate decision, which of course I agree with.
So originally (from pre-pregnancy discussions) we believed I'd just come off my pain meds in the 2nd trimester, however the pain consultant, paediatrician and hospital pharmacist discussed it and decided that this was riskier to do that, than keeping me on the meds at a lower dose, so I'm still on them. I can't breastfeed whilst on them because of the transfer in breastmilk, but even if I stop on the day I give birth they'll still be in my system for days after so bottle feeding became the prime option.
Naturally giving birth was also the plan, but there's a few issues, one is I suffer with muscular spasms that effect down there which may cause problems during the birth (no-one can decide how much of an impact this will be), second my right hip doesn't move as it should which again may be problematic although the consultant has tried putting me in me in a few positions which worked, and thirdly I have some muscular weakness although I'll admit I didn't know I could do it without pushing so I'm going to look into that (thank you). They are considering doing a GA if it is a caesarian because given the circumstances they don't want to touch the spine, because in patients with similar conditions (they all usually quote MS) it can cause relapse's which means I'd lose out on the first days/weeks after the baby is born.
Back to the original question- Thanks Mrs Penguin you've reassured me and I'm going to get booked on a course ASAP
04/12/2013 at 18:53
Thanks to Jelly Baby and Mrs Bass too, sorry I spent so long typing the last post I missed your replies.
04/12/2013 at 19:10
It sounds like you've decided to go for the nct classes anyway, but I was going to say that though there was a fair bit of focus on the actual birth in ours, they were so much more useful for meeting other mums. I think if you talk to the leader in advance they can hopefully tailor the classes a bit more to everyone's needs.
04/12/2013 at 19:14
Thanks spikeygoodness. I've been on the website and sent off an form to say I'm interested as I'm actually running out of time. The form at the bottom asks you to mention anything out of the ordinary so I've included a few words. It starts in the new year and is in the next village to me, so I'm really excited.
Thank you so much to everyone who replied for their support. I'm really glad I posted and asked the question xx
04/12/2013 at 19:20
Aw big hugs, sounds like you have a lot to cope with and a lot of info to process (on top of all the pregnancy info, which us huge).
I'm pleased you've decided to do the classes, our course leader did ask us what we want to cover, so I'm sure they'll tailor them to suit you all. We will be covering c sections too, as let's face it, you can't really plan a birth and c sections are common, so I'd rather know what to expect. Our group is lovely, I've not heard anyone say anything bad about them and everyone I know who's been on them has developed a great network of friends, and to me thats worth every penny x
04/12/2013 at 19:54
That is an awful lot to be dealing with.
As far as the muscular spasms go, if I were you, I'd do a bit of research into hypnobirthing. It's all about relaxing the muscles and your mind to facilitate a natural birth. Even if you can only do it for part of labour, it might be enough, with the positions suggested to oyu, to be able to proceed along a more natural path. I'm reading a book by Marie Mongan which has a cd attached which has been a bit of an eye opener to me, to be honest. I've been doing the relaxation bit for a couple of weeks now and feel more positive about it; I'm just thinking it might give you back a bit of control whilst things progress.
I can understand the feeding thing now; that must be tough, but don't be too hard on yourself. If it's not to be, so be it. xx
04/12/2013 at 20:21
Just for a slightly different point of view, all these things don't actually have to be negatives. I chose to have a c-section this time and I chose not to breastfeed. Last time both those things were thrust on me (crash section under general anaesthetic and very poorly afterwards) and it felt like I had failed. This time, although i did the same things, because I was in control and had made the decisions it didn't feel like failure. I'd try to start looking at the positives of what you have been dealt if you can.
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