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13/06/2014 at 10:55
Just wanted some advice please with regards to dogs and babies.
Here's a bit of background, when I discovered I was expecting and hubby and I announced this, my parents said that they would help us out by having the baby 3 days a week when I go back to work which would allow both hubby and I to remain in full time employment. On that basis, hubby had his contracted hours at work increased and all was fine. I did check with my parents several times that they could commit to 3 days a week as it is a lot to ask and after a long period of ill health, my Mum had been discussing returning to work. My mum said that she would not return to work and would look after the baby 3 days a week until the baby is entitled to the additional free childcare when the baby turns 3.
My parents had a dog who passed away in February this year who was 15 years old and I had grown up with at home myself from being 13. After insisting they would never get another dog (couldn't ever replace Ellie, didn't want to be tied to a dog again as a long commitment etc), my Mum said they were thinking about getting another dog. Knowing my Mum even though she was "just thinking about it" this meant that they would eventually get a dog. They have now decided that they want another dog. Problem is, she has become obsessed with it and even on signing up to various dogs homes talks about "Oh we didn't get Pepper as she was rehomed" and talking about a dog she has never met like it's the neighbours dog.
Now the issue is, I am due 10 August and if she gets a dog, there will be a baby and a puppy in the same house. My hubby, who I have been with for 10 years, very rarely voices strong opinions about things but it quite cross that my parents are considering getting a dog when the baby is on it's way and they have committed to look after the baby for us and we are relying on what they agreed to. My parents are considering dogs that my husband believes are more likely to be funny around children (small terriers etc) and has said that we now need to reconsider whether the baby goes to be looked after my parents if there is a dog around.
My hubby suggested last night that we suggest to my parents that we make the decision as a family with the baby in mind. Now some may think this is cheeky as we don't live with my parents etc but if we are having our child go there, a compromise would be to look into different breeds etc as a family obviously with my parents making the final decision but them running past us dogs that they see etc.
I posed this to my Mum last night and she just went into this hysterical mood saying we were saying that she couldnt get a dog, that she couldnt see her grandchild if she got a dog and so on. That's not the case at all and like I reiterated to her, all we are asking is that if she is getting a dog, that we are consulted about it in view of the baby being in their care. Even with our trusty family dog who passed away, I would have been cautious as you never know with babies prodding and poking etc (she was 15 and very calm and placid).
So, (if you've stuck with me this far, thanks for reading!) my questions are have you had a similar situation and how did you deal with it, what suggestions do you have with regards to this situation and what breeds are particularly renowned for being good with young babies and children. We suggested something like a Lahso Apsa, Shih Tzu, Bichon Frisse etc type dog but my Mum just poo-pooed them as they are "too expensive" and she has been "looking for months" (the suggestion of them getting a dog only came up in May!).
13/06/2014 at 14:12
I know what your feeling as this is the little puppy my partner got 2 weeks ago! il be having my baby in 20 weeks so it means il have lennon, baby and a puppy to deal with.
13/06/2014 at 15:25
13/06/2014 at 16:30
Thanks for your advice. Its just so tricky as I can see all angles and dont know what is "best"
13/06/2014 at 23:32
Hi Hun, I'm coming at this from an odd point of view, although I'm a mummy to be, I'm also a granny to be........bear with me, I know it sounds odd.
My daughter in law (who by the way doesn't know I'm pregnant) has asked me to look after her baby a couple of days a week, this is fine, and we agreed to it, even though at the moment I work full time and would have to reduce my hours as time has gone on she has started being more and more, how do I put it.....well picky about things like the dog, my other kids, what baby will and won't eat when it's here, etc. I'm not saying that you are being like that at all, I can only comment that for us, we feel that we are making quite a big sacrifice to help them out and are quite hurt that we aren't trusted. After all we have bought up loads of kids and the dog didn't eat any of them, we didn't poison them etc.
Maybe your OH should take a step back and realise that your parents are giving a lot here, and if they want a dog, he should trust them, or pay for childcare....
Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, I don't mean to, but being on the other side of a similar situation is quite tough too.
Good luck x x x
15/06/2014 at 12:42
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