Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
18/06/2014 at 19:09
I'm getting increasingly scared about 2 under 2 and instead of being overjoyed I'm terrified beyond belief. I know I will have to cope as I will have no option but I can't help but think it will break me totally plus my hubby.
I dont even know why I'm posting but maybe just to hear that it's not as bad as people are telling me. My 1 year old is a flipping nightmare right now which isn't helping. Up in the night and then up at 4am to start the day. He is so tired in the day he is just so moany. If I keep him up any later it makes no difference to how he sleeps, if he has 1, 2 or no naps in the day it didn't matter either.
Im doing cc tonight with him as I'm desperate and the more tired I get the sicker I'm feeling.
18/06/2014 at 20:30
I have no worthwhile advice but there are ladies on here who have/have had 2 under 2 so I hope someone can help.
I can understand why it will feel daunting but I know you can do it hun and I'm sure F will come into his own when he's a big brother and want to help his mummy xx
18/06/2014 at 20:54
I don't think it matters so much on the size of an age gap to be honest....The thought of adding another child into the mix some days strikes fear into all of us....I sure have days at the moment where I'm like "how the hell is this going to work?" but I know in reality we'll manage and find a way as we did first time round.Have you spoken to anyone about F's sleeping lovely? HV maybe? I'm sure you've tried every trick in the book already but no harm in seeking out any further advice?
18/06/2014 at 20:59
I agree with coco re the HV help, I don't know if they do in your area but here there is a sleep specialist HV and when I had trouble with daytime naps she gave me advice- and then said if that didnt work she would come and spend a couple of days with us to watch and see what happens- might be worth a try. Like the others said its a daunting prospect for any age gap going from one to two. My Best friend had a 2 year old and a newborn and I'm not going to lie she found it hard to start with- now her youngest is 6 months they are fab together and she has found it a lot easier.
18/06/2014 at 21:03
Tweetie Pie, I felt this exact same way throughout the whole of my pregnancy. I felt guilty for E like I was stealing her baby years from her and worried about how I would cope. I'm not going to lie - it's hard! But you just manage! I can't give you any practical advice as I still have no idea what I'm doing and A is 9 months old. I literally take a day at a time and just do what I can for that day, tomorrow is a new one. Don't sweat the small stuff - if you all haven't managed to get dressed for one day or the washing up hasn't been done, don't worry! Have you got family or friends nearby? My mom often comes up and does my washing up for me or clears a loads of washing to do - the rest I just do in dribs and drabs as and when I can! I also found that with E I was almost regimental about her routines but now with the two I've relaxed a lot more about things and we just sort of take things as they come! Getting out can be a military operation so i tend to only go out for the necessary stuff! The rest I either internet shop or get friends/fam to fetch and run errands for me! I'm not the most organised person by any count but I always remember feeling quite proud if myself when a HV commented on how organised I was (must have been a good day!) there's still things I haven't figured out - like how to get them both to bed on my own - and I still have days where I think "what was I thinking" but as people keep telling me it will all be worth it when they're older and really close (I hope!) Every day gets easier. Have you got a good HV? Maybe speak to her and see If she'd let you go to your local twin group because it's very similar to having twins. And for what it's worth E still doesn't self settle and thinks 4.20am is a perfectly acceptable time to get up! You will surprise yourself with how much you get on and do and just manage! Sorry this was a bit rambly - I'm currently eating takeaway pizza while trying to keep it away from my cmpi 9 month old who is refusing to sleep!
18/06/2014 at 21:05
Ps- feel free to PM me If you want and it will help although I am still trying to reply to missdeedee's message from Monday! Sorry! x
18/06/2014 at 21:06
Yes I've asked for advice from the hv and it has helped a lot as he now self settles at bedtime but I can't get him to sleep passed 4am. I've been in bed since 7.30 but can't sleep for worrying, F keeps screaming I think because it's so hot plus he is teething and I feel so sick from tiredness.
19/06/2014 at 11:27
I could have written this post throughout most of my pregnancy, and still today with H going back to work on Monday. My age gap is greater, I only had 2 under 2 for 3 days, but I'm still terrified. I'm assuming I'll cope because I have to though, but I'm expecting it to be tough. Remember there's going to be a huge amount of development in F between now and your due date, J just started sleeping through most if the time recently, at 6 months pregnant he was still up 2-3 times a night. So you might find in a few months everything just resolves and becomes easier. It probably will he super hard work, but you'll manage fine. And we're all here for hugs, rants or tears when needed! X
19/06/2014 at 12:51
What SG says, I've been amazed at A's development recently (think we will have a similar gap, mine is 19 months). It's so hard when you're knackered and sick and your toddler still needs looking after. A was very good to me and I used to literally nap on the floor at 4pm and he would play round me... I'd never have believed that possible before it happened! He still wakes through the night but thankfully my H is in with him. Can you put him in bed with you when he wakes at 4am? A definitely wakes earlier if he is alone in bed. We're taking the sleep over the 'he should stay in his own bed' right now!
I think it is going to be hard but we will cope. Because we have to!
19/06/2014 at 19:51
Thanks for the replies xx
I feel like such a failure to the baby already and a failure to F and my H. I've spent today being sick, breathless and desperate to sleep but even when I get the chance I can't nod off as can't shake the sense of stress and worry. I'm coming out in hot flushes as I panic about what the future holds.
Saisi he won't co sleep any more as he won't settle unless he is on his own. I've co slept for ages now because it worked but that broke when he got more mobile. X
19/06/2014 at 20:36
I know it doesn't feel this way but what you are feeling is totally normal. I felt exactly the same, I wouldn't even tell anyone I was pregnant for ages and probably spent the first 4 months of my pregnancy in tears most of the time. Don't forget you have hormones raging and looking after an inbetweenie is exhausting enough as it is without being pregnant and sleep deprived too. It will feel less scary as time goes on. My honest advice would be don't worry too much about F's sleeping. When the baby comes it will all change again anyway. I was convinced E could sense I was pregnant and got more clingy because of it - maybe there is some logic in that after all! Please don't feel like you're failing - you've a lot going on at the moment and I'm sure your H understands that. Have you got any family who could watch F for an afternoon it even take him out so you could try and catch up on some sleep? Things might seem a bit less daunting if you're less tired xx
19/06/2014 at 20:45
Unfortunately my childcare can't help at the moment due to illness (my parents) but hopefully that's short lived. The last two months have just been hellish with moving house, F admitted to hospital, my mum admitted to hospital, then the surprise bfp, potentially mcing and now a positive scan. My head doesn't know what it wants.
Thanks for the reply. It's so helpful to just know others have been there and survived!
19/06/2014 at 21:22
I wouldn't say I survived - I still get through each day as it comes! I thought today I was going to just sit and cry in the middle of Aldi! You're definitely going through a lot and it's a lot for your brain and body to talk. If you can, try and take sometime for yourself - even if it's just a 10 minute bath or sitting and reading a good book for half an hour x
19/06/2014 at 21:23
Ps - Hope your parents are better soon, that extra worry can't be nice for you x
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