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01/09/2013 at 20:27
S is 4.5 months. To get her to sleep we have to rock her pacing around. I tried shush patting her tonight and after 15 mins of her crying H has just taken over and is now rocking her to sleep.
I was self settling at this age (we had a party and I remember putting her to sleep then getting some wine!).
Was I just unusual or do I need to keep going with the shush patting. How long did it take your LO's to"get it".
I hate her crying but the pacing can only go on so long, she is starting to get heavy!!
01/09/2013 at 20:50
4.5 months is very young for self settling. Lucas i think self settled for naps at 7/8 months but night sleeps, god i think it was about a year that he started as we patted his chest prior to that, then by 20 months he was consistently self settling at night
isaac self settled much earlier, maybe 5/6 months but he was always just happy to have been fed iyswim, he was never rocked/patted
01/09/2013 at 21:00
B self settled from about 4months, we often put him down awake and he would just go off to sleep without crying so has always been fairly easy, I think he is an exception though as he is pretty lazy and likes his sleep!
01/09/2013 at 21:10
W was heavy to hold from the beginning so I never wanted him to rely on me to get him to sleep. He is 3 months old now and goes to bed awake and puts himself to sleep. He kind of decided to do it himself though. He wasn't asleep one night after a feed and I put him down anyway and he went to sleep without any help and he has continued to do so ever since.
01/09/2013 at 21:20
Little h is almost 3 months and manages to self settle at night... During the day is a different story though... Unless I'm pram pushing or have him in the car seat I have to rock him...but he is still very young bless him.
01/09/2013 at 21:23
Thanks ladies. I think I was so spoiled with #1 that this is a shock to the system.
Also I am too tired to persist with her as I chose the path of least resistance. I need to man up at some point...
01/09/2013 at 21:58
at 8.5 months it's probably 50/50 as to whether he self settles or not. I haven't tried to encourage it too much really, I hate when he gets upset and always settle him, rod for my own back and all that.
01/09/2013 at 22:40
Z suddenly decided about a month ago he wants to be left to go to sleep on his own no. Providing he's tired enough to sleep, he'll self settle but we still rock/pat to sleep if he's overtired and fighting it. 4.5 months is early, don't worry too much. It'll come.
I keep telling myself that the average person needs to do/hear/see something 7-21 times for it to 'sink in' (I studied NLP), so you have to do keep consistently doing it without slipping into old ways for a baby to 'get it' or you go back to zero. This is our method when introducing something anyway, might be rubbish but it seems to be working for us. x
01/09/2013 at 23:19
R is 18 months and doesn't self settle but both my other two boys started doing it by themselves at around 12-14 months.
02/09/2013 at 02:10
F will settle with shh pat or just touch at night or some other naps in his cot. Other naps are an absolute nightmare though, he'll fight to the death, even in the car seat and pram. I'm beginning to dread going out as a lack of sleep during the day is seriously affecting his night sleep.
02/09/2013 at 06:59
Thanks all, nice to know I am not alone! She is so little and yes you are right consistency is key. Just so easy to pick her back up and rock her. I remember with #1 the rule was once she was in her cot that was it and we could sing shush etc but not pick her up. I did have pnd so was a bit emotionally detached whereas this time I just want to scoop her up and tell her it will be ok!
I do sometimes feel guilty that I was much harder with #1 but then H reminds me what an amazing sleeper / settler she is and I know it was right for her.
Gah, I feel like a new parent again!!
02/09/2013 at 07:13
E self settled from her very first day out of hospital but like MB won't do it if she's over tired and needs to be held for a few minutes while she switches off then put down half awake, half asleep. She's a funny one though as she doesn't really like being held or cuddled to sleep. Our mantra is to alway give her the opportunity to self settle but never let her cry. Its important to me that she doesn't associate negative feelings with sleep so anything more than a few seconds of crying and we're there soothing her in whatever way she wants (she's almost 8 months).
02/09/2013 at 07:52
E is rocked to sleep every night and she's 16 months. She absolutely won't be patted to sleep or self settle yet. I think it depends on the individual baby.
02/09/2013 at 09:20
Iris feeds to sleep so I am the wrong one to ask
Ned didn't self settle until he was around 9-12 months IIRC though, he too either fed or was cuddled to sleep.
02/09/2013 at 11:10
Generally A has been self settling since about 5 months, although we did have a blip last month where we had to rock him to sleep during the night and he refused daytime naps.
We've slowly been moving away from the settling at night and over the course of the past 3 weeks I have moved from having to pick him up because he was crying (rather than shouting) to shush him, to just patting him, to staying in bed and talking to him as he was shouting, not crying, to the last 2 nights where he has settled himself in about 5 minutes after a bit of a grumble. It's been hard work though, he was waking every 2 hours to begin with.
If he is actually crying though he won't self settle, and I always go to him. Usually though he just has a little shout and goes back to sleep!
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