anyone out there had an horific labour and then gone on to have another fairly normal one... im scared i will never 'let' myself get pregnant again because im scared of the whole birth. i had a really horrible time but couldnt bear my Lo being an only child becuase of my fears..... its early days, lo is 3 weeks, 4 days old

Hi,

I had a tough time with my now 19 1/2 month son, and although I haven't experienced my second labour yet, I am 31+2 with our second son.

Like you, I was really scared just after I'd given birth as I really didn't want our son to be an only child, but I couldn't see how I could give birth again. The midwives said it was a bit early to be thinking of that, but I just couldn't help it- it really played on my mind. A few weeks after I'd given birth the memories did start to fade, and whilst I still know it was agonising, I can't now actually remember what the strongest contractions felt like. People told me the memories would fade due to the hormones and I didn't believe them, but it is true.

I also found it very helpful to go through my notes with a midwife- I did this a few weeks afterwards, but you can do it at any time. It helped me make sense of what had happened, and enabled me to feel proud of what I had achieved.

I am feeling apprehensive this time round, but not terrified. I'm hoping it will be a lot easier, as my body has been through it once already.

Give it some more time, and just try to enjoy your lo for now- easier said than done I know. I would really recommend going through your notes with a midwife when you feel ready- it definitely helped me.

Take care xxx