Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
05/06/2016 at 18:44
I realise this is probably the wrong category for this to go in but i wasn't sure where else it would go, I also realise this probably sounds horrible and ungrateful and disgusting but I really needed advice, so I'm currently six months pregnant and know that I'm not going to be able to cope when baby is here, I love him very very much but I know he's better off without me, so I was wondering if I ended my life after he is born, making sure I didn't get chance to have a bond with him, and making sure he went straight to his dad, would he be affected by this? I understand that this is not a nice thing to be saying but I really really need to do it and I want to make sure he's not affected to an extent
05/06/2016 at 20:11
Hi there Mummytobe22. Really sorry to hear you're feeling like this.
You don't sound horrible and ungrateful and disgusting at all; you sound like you're in a bad place right now and could do with some real-life help.
Please do think about calling or mailing some of the brilliant organisations that could help you.
You can call the Samaritans on 116123 (it's free to call, 24 hours a day) or mail them at email@example.com.
Or you can try a wonderful organisation called PANDAS, which supports women with pre and postnatal mental-health issues. You can call their helpline on 0843 2898401 (9am to 8pm, every day) or mail them on firstname.lastname@example.org (they aim to come back to you within 24 hours).
And do please keep posting here, if it would help.
05/06/2016 at 20:50
Doesn't sound awful but does sound like you need to seek some help/support. Please contact your midwife and tell her exactly how you are feeling. I've read through your previous posts and you sway from really excited to absolutely terrified...
Please please know that feeling like that is totally normal. We all panic that we won't be good enough or the baby will hate us when it's born but ultimately all that baby wants is to be loved and cared for and I know you love that baby and its just fear making you think you can't xx
06/06/2016 at 01:24
To give an honest answer YES
It would affect your child, no child wants to find out their parent committed suicide and gave up on them.
I suffer depression and anxiety but since having my baby boy, I don't think of killing myself anymore,I live for him.
It's hard at days (being alone and a stay at home mom) but he's worth it,he gave me a reason to keep going.
I almost gave up at 17, I overdosed and survived and learnt from it.
I felt very emotional during my pregnancy last year,my boyfriend was far from supportive but when I felt the kicks I felt a connection.
No one can tell you or stop you from these thoughts you are going through right now but it will get better,especially when your baby is born
06/06/2016 at 01:32
I never thought I would cope either, I learnt first hand not much help, the dad always working barely home,its just me and little man. But once you get that routine and get your son used to it,it's pretty easy and you don't need to think so much once you know what has to be done everyday.
Being a parent is a challenge, always something new to learn.
My son experiences his first stomach flu bug two weeks ago,I felt like I couldn't manage cuz I've never dealt with it before but I got there and I made sure he didn't feel so bad,I felt so sad hearing him moan and cry all day for 6 days whilst it was flushing out his system. He still gave me smiles when it wasn't too bad.
Point is, don't tell yourself you can't cope until you've tried and tried til you can't try no more.
My son only wanted me when he was poorly, babies need that connection and love from their mother, that bond that makes them feel safe,to learn,to grow,to love.
06/06/2016 at 03:31
Thank you so so much for all your replies, it really helps to hear from other mums and mums to be, especially to know I'm not the only one, I went to a&e tonight to see the psychiatric liasion team and they have referred me to see a psychiatrist tomorrow morning to have a full assessment, which makes me feel a lot less horrible! I really appreciate all the replies and I now feel so much more relaxed and less of a terrible mum! Xxxx
06/06/2016 at 09:08
Really good to hear you're getting some help, Mummytobe22 – and lovely to hear you feel better for it, and for reading some of the wonderful replies here (thank you, PurpleStar and Charrz91).
Wishing you all the best. And do please keep posting!
11/09/2016 at 07:56
I've just been reading this, and also reading her comments you've posted saying how badly you've wanted this pregnancy, how an earth could a mummy to be want to take there own life and leave a innocent child to grow up knowing his mother couldn't cope and commuted suiside. I hope your husband reads your comments & you get help maybe a rehab, but to me that's selfish!
11/09/2016 at 16:50
Hi Sofia this thread is a couple of months old so I'm not quite sure what made you post on it today. I understand your right to express your opinion, but when someone is in such a bad place that they have considered taking there own life, suggesting they are being selfish is not helpful and not something they need to hear.
i really hope the lady who started this post did get the help she needed at the time and is on the road to recovery. I takes a very brave person to say they need help. X
11/09/2016 at 17:40
I thought it was selfish how she said she was trying for a baby for so long in her other posts then she all of a sudden thought she couldn't cope.. She didnt even have the baby and thought she couldn't cope so In my eyes that is selfish, how did she think the dad would cope if she wouldn't? Only my opinion & I no it's a couple of months old I'm commenting the same reason you are today :) I've also had hormoanal problems through pregnancy but never have I tried for a baby so long then giving up on it just after 6 months, this is when social services get involved because if she don't want the baby what could happen you no? I no things happened like this to other women and had there children taken away! So yes I do have the right to comment!
11/09/2016 at 17:45
& I did say she needed help In my post I first sent to her, just don't feel write that coming from a mum to be to be honest/: it's pretty sad. Just wish people would use protection unless there 100% sure they can cope with a chilLD
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