Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
06/08/2014 at 15:01
I have been at work for 3 months part time on a 3 month contract. This comes to an end at the end of the month and it doesnt look as thought there are many other opportunits where I work. It looks like I will be a SAHM for a bit. Im actually looking forward to it and thinking of maybe looking at jobs again after chrismtas.
However i have a few questions if you dont mind. some of them may be a bit personal so feel free to ignore!
DO you struggle managing on just one salary? Did you have to cut back lots?
What do you do when you want to buy something for yourself , or go to the hairdressers? i think this is the part that concerns me the most, not having 'my' money!
Did it effect your relationship with your OH? either the fact they are the bread winner or that they are the ones that go out to work. Im worried i may be a bit jelous of him going to work if that makes sense?
06/08/2014 at 15:31
Sorry, for some reason my paragraphs have disappeared!
06/08/2014 at 18:33
I'm not a SAHM but hope to be after having my second as I currently only work 2 days a week & that money mainly goes on childcare & petrol for those 2 days so a bit pointless for me working if my outgoings for working are more than my wages!
DO you struggle managing on just one salary? Did you have to cut back lots? Same as WG, I knew I was going to be on Maternity leave I was a supply teacher so was only getting Mat allowance so we budgeted for only having 1 salary coming in & based our mortgage on only my H's salary. Also for the 2 years prior to getting pregnant we were saving for our wedding so all my salary went into an ISA as a kind of test run to see if we could live on 1 salary.
What do you do when you want to buy something for yourself , or go to the hairdressers? i think this is the part that concerns me the most, not having 'my' money! This concerned me as I knew I'd be bringing in hardly any money on Maternity leave so we got joint accounts & joint credit cards before we got married so all the money is coming in is our money. I hate to have to have to ask for 'pocket money'! tbh I'm not much of a spender & have always been quite thifty but do run things past my H before I spend too much. He doesn't ask me to but I feel more comfortable. For example I've found a lovely place where I can get my hair cut & coloured for £20 but I always mention to him that I'm getting it done.
Did it effect your relationship with your OH? either the fact they are the bread winner or that they are the ones that go out to work. Im worried i may be a bit jelous of him going to work if that makes sense? For us I think it's the other way round, he's jealous of all the time I have at home, I offered for him to look into working 4 days & I do 1 but it doesn't work financially. He hasn't yet agreed to me staying home yet but there's no way I'm working for no money!!
Good luck x
06/08/2014 at 19:47
I am in the same position as BK not a SAHM at the moment but hope to be. Basically as others have said we did the mortgage on his wage alone.
The way things are worked we have a strict budget do everything. He pay into my account money for things I need for me or bump.
With regards to resentment I don't think he'll resent me as I'll be doing most things at home. I'm sure there will be days I regret it but on the whole it will work best for the family.
06/08/2014 at 19:56
No, but we're lucky that my H has a very well paid job. There was a few months when H lost his job, and we had to massively cut back, but luckily we had some money saved to fall back on.
We started shopping in Aldi, and still do that now, as it just makes financial sense.
Every payday, H transfers money into my account, which is "mine". If I ever need more, I just go "oi, H, bung a few quid" haha
Not at all. Before we conceived J, we knew I was going to continue being a SAHM, and my H was more than happy to work the hours needed, to make that happen.
I have been a SAHM since I was 18, so do sometimes get pangs of "I want to work", but atm, whilst J is still small, I make the most of being at home with him, and am thankful my H works hard so I can. I go out with friends a lot, so get plenty of adult interaction.
My H would love to spend more time with the kids, but never moans about working, even when he does 80 hour weeks.
06/08/2014 at 20:00
I'm sorry if my reply isn't welcome as I'm not a SAHM. But I'm the main breadwinner and we are talking about my husband taking a year out to be a SAHD if we can have a second baby. He has had 10 weeks off since our baby was born (mostly unpaid) I had 2.
All incoming money is OURS. He can spend whatever he likes. It's TOUGH being at home. Not to be scoffed at. I couldn't do it, not for more than 2 or 3 months. A close friend's husband is a SAHD. She was sometimes resentful that he got more time to be involved at school, or catch up with people, or be with the kids. He was sometime resentful that she got to put on her (metaphorical) uniform and leave the house and be stimulated and have lots of human interaction. Things came to a head and they started explaining how they felt and were honest about those - completely understandable - feelings they each had. And it's been much more relaxed for them since.
06/08/2014 at 20:56
I have been a stay at home mum since disco arrived 2 years ago
Money isn't an issue but we just adjust to what we have (we tend not to spend alot anyway)
Not having my money I have found very hard I brought all my clothes and paid for treats etc out of my savings until very recently because I couldn't bare to ask H for money but I am getting better at that. When/if we move then we will have a joint account that I can use for treats etc (at the moment I have a credit card to spend on that H clears every month)
Staying at home is hard I think it is much harder than going to work. I would love a job but landing one in my chosen field that is suitable is virtually impossible and a part time job that would earn pocket money isn't going to cover childcare costs let alone provide spending money and it seems a daft decision to make if we will be worse off.
On the plus side I get to spend lots of time with Disco this is very important to me as my mum died when was 20 and the thing I'm gladest about is we had so much time with her when we were little.
We also never have to worry about who will cover childcare if disco is sick which is a bonus having seen so many friends struggle to decide who will tak time off is child can't do nursery or child minder etc
07/08/2014 at 12:35
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