Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
28/07/2013 at 09:40
Sorry for the sunday morning brain dump but I've been having really bad anxiety last night and this morning and just needed to get it out somewhere - I know I am being pretty much completely irrational but with everything that has happened over the last few months I just can't shake the feeling that something is wrong.
I'm 5+5 today and have no symptoms at all - the first week I was absolutely bloated, had cramps and some nausea with one really bad day last tuesday - since then I feel absolutely fine apart from a little tired - boobs haven't changed at all and bloating has gone down so I can't shake the feeling that something has gone wrong.
Part of the problem is that 4 months ago we lost my Dad very suddenly and it's been a real struggle for everyone especially mu Mum - this babies due date is the anniversary of Dad's funeral and I'm feeling so much pressure that if everything goes well it will really help take the focus off an awful time next year but if it doesn't everything is going to be so much worse. I should be thinking that everything happens for a reason and Dad is looking out for us etc but for some reason I just can't stop feeling so unsettled.
I didn't think we would fall pregnant so quickly - I was off the pill for 3 months and had a pessimistic feeling about concieving as well so the bfp took me by surprise which is such a ridiculous thing to say and I am so thrilled but and H was away when I found out and I need to be strong for him so he isn't worrying thousands of miles away. I have an early scan booked in for a week on friday and it can't come soon enough. I've had to be the strong one in the family for the last few months so I don't want to fall apart and upset everyone.
I know that there is absolutely nothing anyone can do and it's just a waiting game - that the majority of pregnancies are fine and I'm young and fit don't smoke or drink excessively and haven't had alcohol since I found out but while these forums are a blessing they can also be a curse of knowing that things can go wrong and do so more often that we originally thought.
I'm going to mention how I feel to the midwife on wednesday when I see her for booking in - I hope this sense of dread isn't my bodys way of telling me not to get too carried away.
Sorry for the doom and gloom I didn't want to pull down the first tri thread xxxx
28/07/2013 at 09:48
Also reading that back I really don't want to sound like a brat about falling pregnant so quickly and be disrespectful to those who have been trying for a while - I think it's just that I almost can't believe our luck and am thinking that we can't possibly be lucky enough for us to fall quickly and everything be ok if that makes sense ....
28/07/2013 at 10:05
Firstly congratulations! I think you need to just take things a day at a time. 5+5 is still really early for symptoms and not all women get them. Early pregnancy is so hard as you're so helpless and just have to have faith in your body. If you're really worried and have the money, then I would book a private scan at around 8 weeks. It will break up the wait until 12 weeks and hopefully give you something to focus in and work towards that isn't so far off.
We'd had losses and I was wreck in the early days so I can relate to how you're feeling, it's tough!
28/07/2013 at 10:16
Firstly Grif, have a hug
Please don't worry about the lack of symptoms, they may kick in later or you may avoid them. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself, worrying about it won't affect the outcome (sorry if that sounds blunt)
As for being the strong one, you need to be kind to yourself, you have suffered a massive loss too, and if you need to cry or shout about it then do so. Of you can't do it in front of your family then do you have a friend you can talk to?
You don't have to shoulder the burden to ease other peoples pain, suffering or worry, you are as entitles to be anxious as anyone else
When is uour H back?
Please keep talking to us xxx
28/07/2013 at 10:21
5+5 is very early for symptoms and my successful pregnancy didn't bring symptoms until 7 weeks. I was running a huge event at work with 100 delegates at 6 weeks pregnant, on my feet all day in heels (oh my poor feet) and didn't feel pregnant in any way. My other pregnancies had totally different symptoms at different times so every pregnancy even in the same person brings a new experience.
My first pregnancy took a year and just as we were starting infertility treatment and the bfp was still a shock!
I know its very hard but try not to dwell on the negative things because you need to celebrate a pregnancy daily to get through it I think. Having your H away must be very difficult, hugs xx
28/07/2013 at 11:05
You're still really early to be getting many symptoms, it was 6/7 weeks before they kicked in for me. I wouldn't worry too much about the due date either as that will most likely change when you get to your 12 week scan. Have you told your family about your pregnancy? If not, maybe just wait until after the 12 weeks so you know you won't have to give them any bad news before that if god forbid something did happen. And maybe tell a porky about the due date by a few days so they don't associate it with your dad and so you don't feel as much pressure?
I'm sure everything will be fine lovely, it is a shock when you get a bfp before you're expecting it, but that doesn't mean there'll be any problems. Stay strong, all will be fine i'm sure xxxx
28/07/2013 at 15:00
I didn't have any real symptoms until 8ish weeks. I was tired but not much else. I hope everything is fine and I hope that you don't have too long to wait until your scan. Try not to feel pressured, nobody will have such expectations of you lovely.
28/07/2013 at 15:11
I've had a nice lukewarm bath and a bit of a chill out and I'm feeling much better - maybe I do have a symptom of being irrationally emotional!
Striped I have a scan booked for 7+3 a week on Friday and think I'll feel a bit better when it's actually confirmed on screen - at the minute it doesn't feel real at all!
Thanks weekender - you are completely right I keep telling myself what will be will be and try to calm myself a bit. H is away until November so just over 3 months to go but we can skype every day I just don't want to worry him too much when there's nothing he can do being stuck so far away.
TP thank-you, you're right celebrating each day is a good way to look at it - you ahve had such a journey and to hear your experience really helps xx
Thanks Nenas - I have told them simply because I may need the support and Mum and MIL are coming with me to the 12 week scan - plus they would ahve guessed the minute I refused wine!
Thanks WS - I am pretty tired so it is all likely very normal.
You're all very lovely and believe it or not just getting it out has massively helped - I'm hoping my meltdown has been the culmination of it all and I can relax a little for the next couple of weeks - thank-you for all the lovely words and support xxx
28/07/2013 at 15:27
First tri is so hard, the anxiety is terrible and like you say it's worse knowing that it can go wrong for so many people. In my first pregnancy I didn't find out til 11weeks, it was great as I didn't have the worry but also that might show you that often people don't have symptoms, I had nothing to really indicate pregnancy.
28/07/2013 at 15:28
Big hugs, I had barely any symptoms and didn't feel pregnant for most of my pregnancy so please try not to worry. I had 4 early scans too because of bleeding and still had trouble believing it. Try and stay calm, waiting is hard but there's nothing else you can do. No reason to think anything is wrong and hopefully your dad is watching and you have a reason to celebrate come his anniversary x
28/07/2013 at 19:35
I can totally understand how you're feeling. I think I could have written your post myself a few months ago!
5 weeks is still really early for symptoms, I don't think mine started until about 7 weeks really and then continued until about 14 weeks.
As TP said, try and look at the positives each day, and try and enjoy being pregnant. The worrying does you no good whatsoever, and no matter what, it's not going to change anything. Other than to stress you out.
I'm sure once you see your little bubba on the screen you'll relax a bit, it always helped me.
29/07/2013 at 08:43
Early pregnancy is such a scary time. I unfortunately had a few early MC's and kept promising myself I would test late to avoid the anxiety, but my consultant at the hospital made me start testing even earlier.
With my most recent I was constantly symptom spotting, testing, stressing. At these early days you may have no symptoms or they may come and go. Like TP said, celebrate each day. Someone from here really helped me by saying how she would just aim to still be pregnant by the end of the day at the most anxious time I would go hour by hour, reminding myself I was still pregnant.
Keep talking on here. Be kind to yourself. No worries are stupid. It must be more stressful with the pressure of dates and your h away, but you have lots of us to talk to xx
29/07/2013 at 09:24
I was induced on the day that I had miscarried a year before which was very hard as it was also our wedding anniversary but at least it meant I was busy cursing the pain of labour instead of feeling down about what had happened a year before. X
29/07/2013 at 23:46
I was very lucky to have 3 days of feeling sick but other than my sore boobs I didn't feel pregnant till at least the 2nd tri when I actually started to develop a small bump. Even then I doubted it a lot as I had a anterior placenta so didn't feel movement until the latter stages. I hope this is the same for you & you have no reason to worry
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