20/02/2014 at 19:50
Hi, so i went to the dr today to get her to check out a swelling in my belly that I thought was to do with my UTI I had recently had. She asked if I had taken a pregnancy test and I said no, I've been having all my periods, regularly and normally. She felt me up and then got out a doppler and found a heart beat!!!!
I just burst into tears of shock and upset. I have not been trying for a baby and I had a termination last year. My partner and I have only had unprotected sex a couple of times in the last few months and he has pulled out. The Dr thinks that I am between 4 and 5 months pregnant.
The thing is, I am not a big drinker but I have been smashed about 7 times in the last four or five months what with Christmas, NYE and my birthday in the mix.
I have also (please dont judge) done some cocaine over this period too.... I have taken it three times in that space and not just one or two lines. I am freaking out. We are both very healthy eaters and go to the gym regularly but I have had no symptoms that I noticed. Except now I think about it I have been ill an awful lot this year so far, my nails have been brittle and I got a really random case of mastitis.
I have a scan tomorrow to determine how far along I am but has anyone else been in this situation? I just cant get over what a surprise this was. Father (long term partner) has said that he wants to deal with this and move on i.e. abortion. Which is exactly what I asked for in the heat of the moment in the drs surgery.
I have just recently been promoted but we are due to go travelling this year....all booked. I appreciate that I am not coming to the right place perhaps for advice, but I could really use someone to talk to....
I am terrified.
20/02/2014 at 19:58
Also, I dont know where even I stand. I am scared
20/02/2014 at 21:13
i didnt want to read and run, the ladies on here are very supportive, i cant even begin to think what you must of felt in the doctors room and im sure some ladies will read your story and frown......
my story is yes iv been ttc number 2 since my little boy was 6 months, iv only 1 ovary and tube and suffered 2 m/c last year with in 6 months, i got to see baby grow and get a heart beat but i wont judge you!
everyone is different, life styles ect, i cant say i agree with the drug taking but as i said i wont judge you, nor for having a termination.
The best thing you can do is go for the scan find out just how far gone you are, im not 100% sure but i do think there is a cut of that you can terminate a pregnancy.
i can understand your scared and you didnt know so you cant be blamed for what has happened over the last few months,
if you want to talk please feel free to message me or reply on this post.
20/02/2014 at 22:20
21/02/2014 at 07:12
Try not to worry about what you've done, you had no way of knowing if you were having breakthrough bleeding every month! People have done much worse without knowing and their babies have been healthy. I'm not judging U xx how do you feel about having a baby? Do U think you'll keep it? I can't even imagine how shocked U must have felt in the doctor's office. How does your partner feel about it? Must have been a huge shock for him too! hope you're ok, if you need any help or advice we're all here for you xxxxxxx
21/02/2014 at 07:14
The other ladies are right hun. This will be one of th biggest decision you eve make an you need to be sure it is the right one. You can have counselling (which I believe they offer you at a termination appointment anyway??) I you feel there is too much pressure to make the decision yourself. I think whatever road you decide to take hunni you need to make an INFORMED decision. And if you decide you teLl u are NOT ready to be. Mother right now but cannot go through with an abortion then there is always adoption! That route could turn something you are so terrified of right now into somebody's Lon awaited family, I am not saying I think you SHOULD consider adoption hunni I am just saying it is not always a black and white a termination or keeping a baby. Explain to the hospital EXACTLY how you feel and tell them what you have told us and I will bet they won't judge you either as you didn't even know you were pregnant, they WILL though be able to give you advise (proper medical advice) on What effects if any there would be on th baby ( should you decide to keep it) I know cocaine use can cause placental abruption ( not judging sweetie just I think for that reason, regardless of your decision you need to tell the hospital as an abruption is quit serious and dangerous for you too) all o the ladies on this site are beautiful supportive women whom I know, some Will find it hard to read your post but I am sure will be here for you if you nee to talk xxxx
21/02/2014 at 07:16
Hope today brings better than yesterday for you hun. We will all be here I you need a chat xxxx
21/02/2014 at 08:38
Thinking of you today, just go to the scan with an open mind and remember we are here for you if you ever want to chat xxxx
21/02/2014 at 09:06
21/02/2014 at 09:27
Dont be scared huni your not alone, even tho we are not there with you in the room remember we are there for you still!
When i found out i was pregnant with my son, i had already walked out of my job due to stress from them, and with in a few months the company went bust so my partner was also out of work, we where jobless the pair of us and i was 5 months pregnant, we managed to cope, it was not easy but we coped, last year we left our home town and moved 600 miles away with my son so that my partner could have a job to support us, its been hard but worth every min.
The father (sorry if harsh) i get you say his family are religious but they are not being supportive to you if they say they just want it over and out the way.
I think if your as far as you think 4/5 months you will be able to find out if its a boy or girl today, i know its a lot to take in and if you feel termination again is not right for you then speak your mind huni, you have a say in this as well, its your body and your baby!
i was late 27 when i fell with my son, im now 29 and by boy is 18 months old, and monday i got my BFP im praying its a sticky one as i want to give my son a brother or sister.
I wouldnt worry on the drink and drugs for now, its not important, just get the scan done and tell them at the scan what you have told us, you have some fear due to not knowing, if there is any thing we can do just shout we are here for you xxxx
21/02/2014 at 09:34
21/02/2014 at 11:36
Hope all going well babes, tell him it was a heat of the moment thing, is he going to the scan with you?
if he does just get him to look at the screen and let him take it all in, i know its hard and scary and there are loads of choices for you to make but i can only say do what you feel is right for YOU.
I know how easy it is to say things in the heat of the moment when all you feel is fear and being alone xxx
Always here to support and never judge, sending a hug your way TB xxxx
21/02/2014 at 11:43
Hey hun, I hope you are ok and no matter what you decide to do you will always find th ladies on this group are lovely and supportive. I cannot stores to you enough hunni that although I strongly believe your partner is entitled to an opinion, it is NOT his decision to make, certainly not FOR you. You said you went a bit wild last year for a few reasons an one of them being you couldn't deal with the termination you had then, please don't put yourself in that position again hunni. Your partner should love and support you no matter WHAT!! And I he can't be there for you at a time like THIS then maybe he isn't what you need. I am sure there will be people who think I am being harsh and will strongly disagree with me but I just don't want you to allow someone else to make sure an ENORMOUS decision for you that YOU (not them) will have to deal with either way for the rest of your life. You must be so all over the place right now and you need support not bullying into doing something it doesn't sound you are convinced is the right decision if that makes any sense. If you feel you can't talk to anyone else you can always turn to us and whatever Decision you make we will not judge you hun. Big hugs and we are all thinking of you xxxxx
21/02/2014 at 11:53
21/02/2014 at 12:17
21/02/2014 at 12:35
21/02/2014 at 12:36
oh my dear it goes from bad to worse for you huni.
I cant imagen how your feeling i know when i was rushed into hospital when i came rounf they told me i had a cyst the size of a small mellon that had twisted round one of my ovaries and tube, it was all very scary but i was unawear of it the whole time i had it.
i hope they can get you seen quickly and look after you, how are you feeling about the fact there might not be a pregnancy?
Its strange they picked up a heart beat, a babies hear beat is fast than ours, did they tell you at the doctors how fast it was?
if u need to talk we are here xxx
21/02/2014 at 14:00
Flippin Nora hun!!! You just keep getting shock after shock your head must be all over the place!!! Whatever it is that is going on with your body then they are now AWARE of it which, May not seem like much consolation right now, is a good thing. I means they can find out what it is and deal with it appropriately (if it is a cyst or something other than a pregnancy) I am sure I speak for all the ladies when I say even if you are not pregnant we will still be around to lend an ear if you wanna chat. Xxxx
21/02/2014 at 14:14
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