Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
03/09/2013 at 20:30
What are the things you never knew before having a baby, or that you wish people would have told you to reassure you? Here's some of mine...
Having a contraction whilst being driven along a bumpy road and round roundabouts hurt like a mutha
Its ok if you don't get an immediate rush of love for your baby. It can take a few weeks to grow that love, but it doesn't make you any less of a mummy for it.
The first smile is precious, but probably actually happened a couple of days before when you assumed it was probably wind
It'll take a good few days and a lot of deleted pictures before finally capturing the moment on camera
Just because your baby sleeps well in the first 3 months (or x-amount of time), doesn't mean it will all go out of the window for a reason you are yet to fathom
The other mums who have perfect babies are lying. They've all had that moment where they have to put baby down and leave the room for fear of screaming in its face...or worse!
03/09/2013 at 20:32
Babies get very spotty (both of mine did)
After you have the baby your belly is still pretty big for at least 2 days
03/09/2013 at 20:35
Any form of dignity goes out of the window when pregnant, labour and with a baby.
Babies develop at different rates, so don't panic or worry if another baby is doing things that yours isn't.
2 days IDC?! I saw my sister at 3.5 weeks post-birth and she said I still looked pregnant
03/09/2013 at 20:41
This is a really useful thread, far better than 'friends' telling you that you have no idea how hard it is going to be / what you are letting yourself in for. I do, I just don't know the specifics!
03/09/2013 at 20:42
Post natal night sweats.
03/09/2013 at 20:59
Ha! So many things!
That the labour is fleeting, coping with the baby is the difficult bit!
The 'rush of love, chorus of angels' thing doesn't happen for everyone straight away
That I will not suddenly get an infinite source of patience, in fact I will be no different just me with a baby!
That I may think I know what tired is, but I have no freaking idea. None at all!
03/09/2013 at 21:01
Being ready to push a baby out is like needing a poo.
I held on to that for ages because I was scared of messing during labour...
03/09/2013 at 21:13
After pains! No one told me about after pains, i thought there was something wrong!
Sleepless nights are even worse than they sound
Your bump is public property
Your boobs are unbelievably sore the day your milk comes in which probably will coincide with the emotional explosion that happens as your hormones are crashing back to normal (ish) levels
It stings like a *** when you pee for days after delivery
Babies know the sound of the kettle boiling and the microwave pinging (as you reheat that cuppa) and will screaming cue.
Watching your child sleep makes you feel overwhelming love and you want to touch them or pick them up. But you wouldn't dare.
There will be other parents with newborns wandering round 24hr tesco at 3am too
03/09/2013 at 21:51
Yes to so many of these!
The shock of labour can hit months later, even if it seemed okay at the time.
Breastfeeding hurts for the first few weeks. Then becomes enjoyable just in time for baby to grow out of the snuggly wanting to feed stage and instead just want to pull off and look around. Particularly when there are lots of people about.
Never let the car run out of petrol. Driving sends babies to sleep.
Tiredness is cumulative. Coping with several night wakings in the first few weeks is easier than coping with two after six months of deprivation.
Every time your baby achieves something you will cry because you're so proud, then cry because its another step towards growing up and not needing you any more. (This may just be me).
03/09/2013 at 22:03
Babies cry. A lot. Usually in the early hours of the morning. For no apparent reason. 'Solving the problem' i.e. feed, change, wind, pick up etc. still doesn't always stop them screaming. Some just enjoy doing it. (Well, my eldest did!)
Sleep deprivation is torture. The first night you get something of a full night's sleep you'll think you'll take on the world!
03/09/2013 at 22:24
that labour and birth is not the end point, it is the beginning and it really doesn't matter how and what happened, the only important thing is that mother and baby come through it in one piece. there is no medal ceremony for delivering a certain way.
that it really is true, if you don't have kids, you just don't understand.
that despite all your best intentions, mother nature can have her own ideas about how feeding will pan out.
that admitting that you are finding it tough and need help and support does not make you a failure or weak. it makes you responsible and brave.
that you can be so so angry and frustrated with someone but at the same time be completely overwhelmed at the love you feel for them.
03/09/2013 at 22:27
Newborn days are a doddle compared to frustrated baby trying to get on the move days.
03/09/2013 at 23:07
That if you pour warm water or pee in the shower after birth it is far less painful
That tea tree oil only sits on the top of bath water & needs to be mixed with a small amount of milk to really be effective to ease above stinging
That when you breast feed from 1 side it can squirt out the other side!
03/09/2013 at 23:10
Breastfeeding can hurt worse than labour if you are unlucky like me!
03/09/2013 at 23:28
The night sweats definitely.
Also the giant man poos you will do afterwards.
Hugging a pillow to cough if you have stitches after giving birth is a good way to get your cough out.
04/09/2013 at 07:01
Post natal night sweats.
And the odd day one. Had both this week.
04/09/2013 at 07:33
To enjoy food pre baby as it is so hard to enjoy a leisurely meal, or just chew before swallowing once they are here!
That you may hallucinate with tiredness but don't worry, you're probably not going mad.
BF really is fab for weight loss.
Babies will make their own patterns and routines, don't stress, especially in the first 8 weeks about things changing lots or where they will sleep etc. get the TV remote and a pile of cakes, and enjoy cuddly naps.
You will become obsessed by their poo and how much they sleep.
And I really wish I'd known that babies don't always know when they want to sleep or how to get there and it's your job to get that to happen at least every two hours! Sam would be awake for 5+ hours straight some days, I'd be exhausted, he obviously would, and understandably a total grizzle chops! I remember asking the HV who helpfully said babies aren't text books some sleep more than others. Erm, thanks for the insight!
That a lot of what works with your baby, or your friends babies, is down to luck, not what some trick, rule or plan. S is a fab sleeper at night and has been from quite early which is totally down to him and luck. I don't show off or profess to be doing things right - I'm lucky. Likewise, he is not so great at independent naps in the day, but that's not because if things I have or haven't done, it's just who he is.
Parenting is not a competition, spend time with other Mums on a similar wavelength, where you can chat and ask things easily and laugh together about the stuff you don't know or have missed instead of feeling judged etc.
Despite the above points, you'll still question yourself loads as you feel so responsible all of the time.
That they totally, 100% rely on you - overwhelming and daunting, yes, but amazing too. Your baby making eye contact with you and being comforted when you pick him up, or smiling because he recognises the song you are singing will melt your heart and make you feel so lucky and so very happy.
04/09/2013 at 08:14
That pre baby insomnia has nothing on the sleep deprivation you'll experience after....NOT EVEN CLOSE!
You won't necessarily have your waters go/have a show/have a pre labour clearout...or even long contractions. Every woman labours differently.
However easy your labour and birth, your lady garden will still feel like it's been trampled by a marching band for a couple of weeks.
You will cry. A LOT. This doesn't always equal PND, it's normal.
You will feel useless and second guess everything...this is actually just because you're a good Mum who wants the best for your baby
04/09/2013 at 08:15
Oh, and nothing prepares you for that first explodapoo...nothing at all ;-)
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