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02/04/2014 at 09:42
My daughter has always been a mummy's girl. Not sure if it's due to me breast feeding her for 18 months or that I spend a lot more time with her as I work part time. Recently she's got even more clingy and only calls out my name if she's distressed a night. I know I've got awhile till baby number 2 comes along but I'm worried about how jealous she's going to be. When we're out even if I talk to another baby or toddler she gets upset & if I cuddle another baby she gets very upset, I haven't stopped doing it as I need her to learn. But it worries me. I'm hoping to be able to breast feed exclusively again & remember how time consuming it was but at least I know I can be mobile & sit anywhere with a feeding baby whilst she plays.
I just need someone to reassure me that the jealously will be replaced by sisterly love & that she'll cope having to share me!! Thanks
02/04/2014 at 09:50
As you know, I have a little boy and I wouldn't say he's clingy but he doesn't like me giving attention to other babies. Could be a cause for concern later on ha! I think it's only natural for them to find things a bit difficult initially, afterall they've had your undivided attention for over 2 years. This was one of the many reasons we put F in nursery a couple of days a week - I didn't return to work so we literally spent all our time together and I thought it'd be good for him (and me) to have a little time apart. I'm hoping this helps a bit later down the line when baby arrives. I'm planning on trying to get him involved by helping me with nappy changes passing wipes, etc and helping with other things. He does love to 'help'.
02/04/2014 at 10:01
Isaac is quite clingy in new environments. He also tantrums if L is getting more attention.
Tbh we just go with it, if he needs a cuddle then fine, if we are at a group I join him playing and hopefully he will settle soon iyswim.
Re the new baby, we didn't say to L there was a baby in my tummy till I was 6/7 months he was too little to understand before that. We got him a doll who was his baby too and bought the book there's a house inside my mummy to try to build understanding. I gave him little jobs to do so if I was expressing he was able to press the buttons, if I was feeding I had a little treat box for him, nappy changes he passed me the stuff etc.
Isaac kicked off big style last week at playgroup as I held my friends baby eek!
02/04/2014 at 10:18
Joshua and Jacob have both been through clingy phases and Jacob is still a bit of a mummy's boy. It's been suggested to me that it's because he was BF for 2.5 years and we coslept for a long time too, but in return he's also very independent and confident to entertain himself. He wasn't jealous when N was born but did go through a phase when she was a few months old, I just had to make sure to give him plenty of reassurance and time when N slept so he knew I was still there for him and he was fine - bizarrely, he wasn't ever bothered by her but more by the loss of my time and attention.
I think your gap will be similar to the gap between the boys (2y7m) and we never had a problem with jealousy there - Joshua adored his brother from day one and still does, when they're not trying to throttle each other!
02/04/2014 at 13:27
Thanks ladies. Isobelle is great at nursery but I think she seems to prefer the adult attention rather than the children's. I've heard of that book RF, will look into getting a copy of it soon. Guess a lot of it is me worrying ahead of time as you just don't know how they'll react. I will try & keep her as involved with the baby as much as possible. & Margot, yes our gap will be 2 years 9 months so very similar.
02/04/2014 at 16:11
Lucy is very shy and very clingy. I dont know if the two go hand in hand? I have, however, since Toby arrived noticed that she is happy to amuse herself a lot more. In fact we went to breastfeeding clinic whatsit this morning (am having an issue with over-supply!) and she took herself off to the toys outside whilst i stayed inside talking. I was AMAZED!
02/04/2014 at 21:18
E is another one that goes through fazes - sometimes she's quite happy to go and play on her own while I deal with A, other times she's throwing a tantrum because she wants !y undivided attention! Even now, A is almost 7 months, she still has a fit it her dad goes into her in the night and not me. At first I felt really guilty and tried to do it all but now I try MD make myself let her get on with it just sometimes. I think even if I didn't have A shed have to learn to accept her dad some of the times so try and focus on that rather than she thinks I'm abandoning her in favour of her sister! Did any of that make sense?!
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