Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
02/12/2013 at 09:09
For the last few days O has been feeding loads, mainly in the evening although a fair amount in the mornings too. After some tears last night I've researched a little and I'm feeling a lot happier that it's normal for his age and doesn't mean I'm getting it wrong.
It's made me realise though that I've been putting too much pressure on myself and that I just need to go along with what he wants, I know it's temporary.
How did you cope with it? I find it really hard when I'm home on my own and stuck on the sofa without food/drink! I feel pretty exhausted but I do enjoy the feeding and want to keep going.
02/12/2013 at 09:11
P.S The tears were mainly due to my MiL visiting as she held Oliver for 2 hours solid (I just wanted him back!) and then told me that he should only have the breast every 4 hours and if he looks for something inbetween then to give him boiled water or baby juice as he's just 'thirsty'.
02/12/2013 at 09:32
02/12/2013 at 09:33
Well for starters definitely ignore your MIL! Cluster feeding is normal and temporary :-) Make sure you have food and drinks to hand or get someone to pass you stuff as you need it. DVDs also help! Remember though, you can get up...worst case he cries for a few mins but you have to look after yourself too. It does get easier x
02/12/2013 at 09:34
Get a hot drink thermos mug thing.
I have a big evian bottle with a sports lid by the side of the sofa full of water.
Bring the packet of biscuits in and leave in arms reach- don't waste your time only bringing a couple of biscuits out the pack!
Make sure your phone is fully charged
Get a book or lots on sky plus.
Enjoy it. It's not long before they're past the newborn stage - the kitchen is currently full of dirty dishes from last nights tea as I laid on the sofa cuddling B instead of going in the kitchen to tidy up!
As for the mil I know how you feel. But that's the good thing about bf rather than bottle - they can't do it so have to give baby back! I tend to walk over to the person and start getting hold of baby as I say " I'll just give them a feed now as I'm trying to get into a routine with feed times", or. " I'm trying to give her more feeds in the day to try to get her to settle at night", or " she'd not gained much weight at her last HV check so I'm trying to feed her more regularly".
Just make sure you are already getting baby off them as you say it as it's too late for them to come up with a reply to stop you then!
02/12/2013 at 09:36
02/12/2013 at 10:10
Thanks ladies, that's pretty much what I was thinking but it's nice to hear it from people who understand! Xx
02/12/2013 at 10:11
Cluster feeding drove me a bit crazy at first but once you accept that's just what they do and it will pass, it's not so bad. Echo all the other advice, big bottle of water, packets of biscuits or crisps and I also used to make up a bowl of porridge the night before and leave it in the fridge then just microwave the next morning. Use it as an excuse to watch loads of crap telly.
I was given the advice about water between feeds by my afor-mentioned nightmare grandmother in law just last night and also shockingly, by the nhs 111 number. Ignore it, you know better!
Enjoy these prolonged cuddles with your little man, they don't last long x
02/12/2013 at 11:44
Lots of treats by your side, a comfy pillow and H to make the drinks! ;)
Take my advice from yesterday on the MIL, it's ok to say that it is how it was in their day and that is fine but it is sometimes the way the advice is given that is the problem! xx
02/12/2013 at 13:27
A clusters in the evenings for at least 4 hours but usually longer, it's surprisingly exhausting. H cooks the dinner every night and if my hands are full he feeds me too! This is hilarious and actually gives the 2 of us a bit of bonding time so I quite like it ;)
He does similar in the mornings but for less time, or sometimes starts earlier before H gets home, so I try to have some snacks on the sofa ready, a glass of water, and am working my way through 4OD's entire back catalogue. Sometimes it's frustrating when he finishes a feed, is put down and 10 minutes later wants feeding again (especially as A has reflux so we have added wailing, wind and vomit) but I try really hard to remind myself that he won't do this forever and I would rather have a baby that feeds all evening that cries all evening. Plus it's a good opportunity for sitting on my bum!
The payoff for me is that usually A will only wake once in the night, so I may be tied to the sofa in the evenings but at least I often get a reasonable amount of sleep.
02/12/2013 at 13:35
It's only temporary and is over before you know it. Definitely get everything you need before you sit down. I record lots of movies and big bang theory to watch
Anything that doesn't need alot of concentration.
Agree with everyone else mil is wrong but understand it can be hard with inlaws x
02/12/2013 at 14:03
Urgh that MiL advice is terrible and led to a lot of babies being diagnosed with 'failure to thrive' and mums thinking they "weren't able" to breastfeed when they probably could if they'd fed more often! It's supply and demand! Sorry just had to get that out!
Organisation is key, sorry I'm not sure why you're "alone" - is your H away, do you have any other support? Get a snack tray ready with fruit, nuts (almonds particularly good for BFing), biscuits, chocolates, etc. Also a huge bottle of squash and the laptop/TV remote/book.
In the evening, what I'd honestly suggest is just making your bed cosleeping friendly, getting in there and BF lying down so you can be sleeping while baby eats.
02/12/2013 at 14:19
Saisi I'm only on my own during the day really whilst H is working. He leaves at 6:30 so it does feel a long time, he's brilliant when he's home though. O has fed all morning but we're on the sofa all snuggled up so feeling quite relaxed about it :-) I was wondering about taking the side off his crib to make night feeds easier xx
02/12/2013 at 16:33
Do it! It made such a difference not having to get up. I just roll over, let him feed and usually fall asleep again in the process. It's a huge advantage of BFing.
02/12/2013 at 16:45
Hmmm I think I'll do it! The crib is a little lower than our bed though, do I need to make it flush? Xx
02/12/2013 at 19:10
TBH we used it more as a bed guard. It was relatively flush, the cot a little higher than the bed. We put a rolled-up towel into the small "gap" so if he was on the bed he couldn't roll into the cot and if in the cot he couldn't roll into the bed (this didn't last long, but we started actual cosleeping instead).
02/12/2013 at 19:39
echo what others have said, get a table next to where you feed large bottle of water, lots of snacks (I favoured cereal bars and flapjacks) good book and get some box sets, sky plus etc then ignore MIL and enjoy newborn cuddles. Disco cluster fed in the evenings til the 5/6 month mark 7-10 or longer Now he is a very uncuddly toddler I miss those snuggely evenings
02/12/2013 at 20:16
Cake and biscuits. Nuff said.
03/12/2013 at 14:14
I think most of what I would suggest has alreday been said, have evrything nearby and ready, cake, biscuits, drinks, book remote control. I also got into the habit of expressing a bottle so H could help out even if it was just for me to nip to the loo/stand up & move around. I think I did this from 6 weeks or so.
My MIL was the same about 4 hourly feeding, but she ended up changing her mind, and now agrees I was right to do it this way (she said so with my second - even asked if I was feeding her often enough as she fed less regularly than E!!)
03/12/2013 at 15:11
Thank you all for your comments, I feel like a pro today with my thermos mug etc! Think the growth spurt is tailing off too. I do want to start expressing but the midwife advised to hang on a couple of weeks x
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