Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
09/05/2013 at 09:41
Lots of people tell you that no matter how good your children are the arrival of a new LO always affects them some way. What are you tips for making them feel included and not pushed out. Our little man is really excited about his baby brother arriving and keeps asking when he is popping out. However don't want to take it for granted that he will just take the new arrival well.
How did you LO's take it after the initial novelty had worn off?
09/05/2013 at 09:53
I never had a huge problem with Joshua after Jacob was born, he played up at times but no more than was usual for him at that age. Tips would be to involve them as much as possible with the baby, but also to make sure there is time for just them and make sure visitors make a fuss of them too rather than just the baby. I think the first few weeks are the easier part tbh as the baby is fairly easy - we managed to get out and about quite a lot as Jacob just slept in the sling or pram most of the time rather than demanding my attention.
09/05/2013 at 09:54
Just make sure you put the baby down at some point, I had a very clingy baby (she's much more chilled now) so along with feeding, changing etc I was constantly holding her and I felt bad towards N. as soon as she was big enough for the sling I used that so tht I was at least hands free to play with N. Whenever baby sleeps spend some time doing what your older one wants to do even if it's just 10 minutes reading books or a few games of hide and seek. When I'm talking to the baby I include N in it and he chats to her too. She gives him big beaming smiles now and looks for him when he goes out of her line of vision so I always tell him and he likes it. He's always been very excited about having a sibling and has been brilliant so far, I've been very lucky.
09/05/2013 at 10:20
I don't have a no.2 but when my sister's 2nd baby was born they 'bought' her a present from the baby. seems like a cliché but the eldest was very impressed with the gift and new baby!
09/05/2013 at 12:35
We had our son buy a present for the baby, and he received a present from the baby. I had him introduce her to people so he got some positive attention as otherwise people just head for the baby. He will still introducing his 'new baby' when she was a year old! they will have wobbles, he did wet the floor a couple of times and had some tantrums but overall didn't do too bad. I also would read him a book whilst BF his sister so he felt like he was getting some cuddles and attention
09/05/2013 at 12:45
We did pretty much what everybody else has mentioned above. Just tried to make as much time for E as possible whilst C was sleeping.
My two idolise each other and only recently are we noticing E getting a bit rough with C, probably because now she's 11 months and crawling she's getting more attention.
09/05/2013 at 12:47
Munchkin - we have roughly identical age gaps so will be interesting to see how the older ones cope with the new changes.
09/05/2013 at 14:23
Ella asked the same everyday too. When he arrived, she didn't take any interest at all, refused to look at him. Her face was one of complete bemusement when I arrived home from hospital with him! She had issues with me and became a real daddies girl which was very upsetting but completely understandable. I made sure when she arrived at hospital that M was always in his crib and not cuddled up to me. When I was BFing, I'd ask her if she would like to read a story together (she didn't for a while, only daddy could read to her!) I gave lots of cuddles, kisses, reassurance that she was still very much loved and eventually, things got better.
I was just grateful that she didn't show any spiteful behaviour towards M. There is still a little jealousy now- if M cries to be picked up, E suddenly has a painful leg/arm (any old bruise starts hurting again ) I include her in changing his nappy, she brings her little step over to the change table, hands me wipes, nappy, creams and happily puts his wet nappies in the bin. I let her help bottle feed a few times (poor M) and be involved in helping calm him down/naps/etc.
Most of all, I have mornings/afternoons/whole days of Mummy and Ella time as often as possible.
09/05/2013 at 14:26
We did all the above and my main advice would be to keep things as normal as possible and keep to the routines you have already established. If no1 is in pre-school or nursery, keep sending them. C was horrible at 1st, but I put that down to being spoilt to overcompensate. Things then improved once the visitors stopped and our previous routine continued. She then had the jealous phase when S was 3 months and had started to become more interactive and this lasted until she was 5 months and could sit up and play. C still has her moments (i.e. melt down this morning because she wouldn't let S have something, even though she didn't need it and wasn't using it) but overall she's much better. We make a big thing out of rewarding her for playing nicely and sharing with her sister and that seems to work. She's never been interested with helping to dress her, change nappies etc. but it's worth trying that to ensure they are involved as much as possible.
09/05/2013 at 14:29
Our posts must have crossed WS, your daughter sounds just like C was. I'd forgotten that she became a real daddies girl and wanted nothing to do with me for about 3 weeks. C usually uses needing the toilet as an excuse for attention, even now, when I'm feeding S.
09/05/2013 at 14:37
I'm still cooking number 1, but my sister told me that she didn't have a problem with her 1st accepting the 2nd, but as it transpired number 2 would get jealous of number 1 on a regular basis.
09/05/2013 at 22:22
We got her a present from the baby which she loved.
Ensured the baby was not on us when she met her for the first time, she was laying in her basinette.
Not pressuring I into meeting the baby. Even at 3 weeks swe still don't have the sibling photo as she has no interest in cuddling her!
She is fine with her and will now chat to her and lists her in her family list and even allows the baby to kiss her but not the other way around!
Her behaviour has got a bit worse and she keeps saying she has a poorly finger bless her.
All in all lots of reassurance, lots of hugs and picking battles, oh and ignoring silly bad behaviour and rewarding good like at any other time.
10/05/2013 at 09:43
We never really had a problem to be fair. We bought T a present from the baby. Everyone that visited actually had something even just sweets for T if they had bought for J. You'll be surprised how quickly C will grow up and adapt. T loves his brother so much, the mist out of everyone he tells us.
The one thing that I've found hard just lately though is when they are both ill. J wants cuddles and so does T. I try to concentrate on T when I put J down for a nap.
There's days when I think he gets a bit fed up that my time is taken up a lot but he will take that out on me, never once has he been spiteful to his little brother (so far!) I honestly feel very lucky he has been very easy going x
10/05/2013 at 11:09
We never done anything in particular tbh and never had a problem
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