Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
03/06/2015 at 15:45
Okay, so I have absolutely no idea how to start this.. Uh, I'm 22. I lost my virginity last year to my then boyfriend and have been very much single since January. So here's the sitch..
Around March and April, I had three sexual encounters (one ex, one potential interest and one rapist). I had been on the contraceptive pill for the last 2 years up until a month ago when I stopped taking it to allow nature to take it's course, only it didnt.
So last week i took two pregnancy tests, both positive. Doctors have estimated me to be around 10-12 weeks and i have a scan in two weeks.
I am so worried as I have been going out drinking reguarly and smoking (up until discovering my pregnancy). I have informedthe two guys that iI can reregarding the pregnancy and neither is prepared to be involved if they are his/her dad. I have already made the conscious decision to bring my child into the world regardless of any man or in this case, little boy but I'm really worried as to whether my foolish habits can have lasting effects.
I also still live at home with my very over protective and old fashioned mother. My older sister gave birth two days ago but is in a long term relationship and moved out. How do i tell my mother that her baby is having a baby with a guy she slept with out of a relationship :///
03/06/2015 at 16:41
No one? Wow okay. Thank you for your support:/
03/06/2015 at 16:48
Hi effxmcm. And welcome to MadeForMums.
We're sorry no one has replied to you yet – most of our regular forum posters are around a lot more in the evenings. We do hope you'll get a helpful reply then.
Wishing you all the best. You're in your difficult situation but it sounds as thought you know what you want to do.
03/06/2015 at 20:19
Oh hun, what a difficult situation for you to be in.
I guess my thoughts would be that if you have decided 100% that you are going to keep the baby, then you have to tell your mother. She would probably appreciate you being honest with her and just telling her, rather than trying to think of any special 'way' or 'time' that would be best.
I would recommend possibly waiting until after you've had the first scan, just so that you know for sure that everything is fine with the baby, and then think a bit more about your options and make sure you are 100% set in your decision. Your mother should support you and the baby, because you're her baby.
As for the drinking and smoking, the important thing is to focus on changing your habits now that you are aware that you're pregnant and can make different lifestyle choices.
You're going to need plenty of support, so I would suggest speaking to a friend, or possibly your sister, especially if she has just had a baby? If you feel that you can x
03/06/2015 at 21:22
Hello! I agree with what has said above.
Having just had to share the news of my unplanned and unexpected pregnancy with my other half (who took it Very badly ) and then my 18 year old (who is also reacting badly) and my 14 year old (who is ok!) there is never a good time to let on. Sometimes it's best to just come out with it, then go with the flow.
When I had my 18 year old my then partner (of only a few weeks!) decided he didn't want to know . Well this made me become suddenly very protective over my unborn child and I vowed to be the best mum i could. Things turned out great and (apart from this latest blip with the new baby news which I do understand) i am proud of the man he's become.
So, while everyone's experience is unique, I can identify with what you are maybe going through. I think too that maybe wait for your scan and then broach the subject with your mum. You may be pleasantly surprised. Hang on in there and keep us posted. Oh and if you fancy it pop on over to the December /January birth club (depending on your due date) for support from a great bunch of mums to be who come from all backgrounds xxx
03/06/2015 at 22:59
Sorry for the late reply.
I'm going to take on both of your advice and wait until my scan. I find it difficult to speak to my mum at the best of times but the topic needs to be approached sooner or later so I'll have to find a way to overcome that fear.
Ideally, I would have rather the circumstances be different and at least know which out of the three is the father but I know ill be the best mum I can. Tonnes of mixed feelings at the moment, I'm not showing and have zero pregnancy symptoms but maybe once I have the scan, it'll feel real and shed more light on the situation.
I'm going to visit my GP as soon as I can to receive help kicking the smoking habit, though I havent touched one today - I have been stressed not having one which I hear is bad for unborn babies. As for drinking, that's completely banned.
Thank you so much for respond to me, it's a greater feeling knowing that I have somewhere to share how I feel
04/06/2015 at 01:32
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04/06/2015 at 10:54
How are you feeling today ?
02/12/2015 at 01:25
Hey. Wow so much has happened since I last logged into this site!
I had my scan and learnt that the father of my child is who I first described as my "potential interest". We are not together but he's been brilliant and supportive. I moved out on my own a couple of months ago and he's helped me spruce the place up no end :). Our families have also met and get along like a house on fire!
It took my mum a long time to thoroughly get used to the idea but now I think she's finally excited for the arrival of her grandson (due January) :D I hope you are all well x
02/12/2015 at 12:16
Oh wow things certainly looking up for you. I'm so happy to hear you are well and it sounds like things are going to be just fine for you.
I am sat here with my 5 day old son in my arms! It's amazing being mum again.
What date in Jan are you due? Xx
02/12/2015 at 13:42
Thank you :)
Congratulations! What his/her name? I'm getting impatient for mine now haha.
8th Jan :)
02/12/2015 at 15:41
Not long to wait, they'll be here before you know it!
He's called Elliott and is scrummy 😄
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