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16/11/2013 at 13:29
She was round yesterday as I had a bit of a melt down at the start of the week due to my 4 year olds behaviour, lack of sleep and a growth spurting baby and my H being away with work.
I think I've known something hasn't been right for a while but I think it's taken the hv to suggest it for me to admit it. I've to make an appt to see my gp and my hv has offered to speak to her first to tell her my story so I don't have to rush to get everything out.
I've had no bonding problems with S though and don't think anything has changed since he's come along so I think it's been going on for a while.
I'm a bit gutted about it all and not even really sure why I'm posting other than to get it out cos I don't have anyone else to talk to
HV has been round another couple of times and I went to the gp's today too. GP wasn't much help really. Has arranged blood tests to rule anything else out and gave me a phone number for a counselling place. I'm not the type to pick the phone up so clearly not going to do that. He did another questionnaire and I scored ok on it, 11 out of 27 which was classed as moderate. My hv did S's 4 month check and it's at that point she decides what pathway to put me on so I'm now on her additional support and she'll contact me every couple of weeks. She's going to speak to A's nursery and see if they can increase her hours for a couple of weeks to give me a break. Think that's about it. Still not really sure how i feel. I could put everything down to tiredness or it might be something else. Who knows
16/11/2013 at 15:09
Oh ally, sorry to read this but it's best it's diagnosed and you can get treated. Be easy on yourself. Are you sure there's no one irl you could talk to? The more support you've got behind you the better xx
16/11/2013 at 15:24
Ally, so sorry to hear you're going through this. I had quite bad PND depression with my first to the point where I couldn't even leave the house. Like you, I knew something wasn't right and that it was more than just the baby blues. It is definitely better being treated than being left to fester and it won't be forever - you just need a little help for now. I'm sure there are many ladies on here who have been where you are and can offer better words of wisdom than i have but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Hope you're feeling a bit more like your old self soon and we will always be here to listen in the meantime x
16/11/2013 at 15:27
Sorry to hear this, you know im not too far away if you ever need anything x
16/11/2013 at 17:10
Oh I'm sorry to hear this. I've never had PND but I've had several bouts of depression and it's fantastic you've taken on board what the HV said, and are talking about it. It's no cure but it's a massive step towards being better. It's great the HV is trying to help by talking to your GP. And - in my experience - doctors are a thousand times better than they used to be. I hope the first appointment goes well for you.
16/11/2013 at 17:45
it is a hard thing to accept, but now you have you can get yourself better - for me going on the ADs really made a difference.
When I went to my GP, I had a list of things written down as I knew I'd struggle to talk about it, so that might be an idea to do.
Not sure if you're BFing, but there are ADs that are safe - Sertraline is one of them, which is the one I had (still on over 4 years later, but that's another story)
It's great you've got a supportive HV, hope your GP is as well - mine were both brilliant and really helped when I was first diagnosed. xx
16/11/2013 at 18:19
Sorry to hear this but its great you've taken steps to get yourself on the mend. Remember I'm not far if you need anything x
16/11/2013 at 19:34
You're seeking help which is a major acheivement on its own. I'm still on sertraline for my pnd with D and bf J. No issues so far. It's only a low dose but for the first time in a very long time I feel like me again.
I also wrote down how I felt for the gp to read as I knew I wouldn't be able to explain myself. It did help.
Hope you get the support that you need x
16/11/2013 at 20:56
Well first of all, hooray to the Health visitor. Last time around mine also spoke to the GP for me so I didn't have to go through it all with her and they were very very understanding. I'm sorry you are going through this and hope that you can get back on an even keel asap
16/11/2013 at 21:17
Thanks for the replies everyone. I've not really stopped thinking about this since yesterday and am still confused about it all. I guess talking to the gp will help but I'm not convinced it is depression. I definitely struggle with managing stress, are the two linked? And I have zero tolerance at the moment so my poor daughter is shouted at constantly.I wouldn't say I feel sad or upset all the time though. I've had a down week and cried a bit but I think that could be down to lots of factors. Motivation is a big thing - I have none. It is a huge effort to do stuff with the kids, I feel like I get up and the aim of the day is to make sure they're looked after until bedtime. I've started forcing myself to do things with them but maybe I'm just a lazy cow! I've lost quite a bit of weight due to having no appetite but the weight loss could be down to breastfeeding. My hv is lovely but I've felt like since S was born she's been waiting for me to fall apart - constantly saying how hard it must be with 3 under 5 and little family support and how am I coping etc. She's back on Tuesday so will speak to her again. Oh and another point, the Edinburgh test I filled in about 10 weeks post birth I only scored 3, can things change that quickly?
16/11/2013 at 21:19
Hmmm, I have to say that when I'm depressed I don't necessarily feel sad. I get very very lethargic, struggle to get out of bed, no motivation to do anything. The key thing that highlights that I'm depressed, which has taken many years to realise, is when I start getting obsessive about the house, that things just aren't right, I need to redecorate, buy new furniture etc. Odd I know.
16/11/2013 at 21:33
Thanks jb, I do think there's maybe something but not sure what. I'm just worried about the gp just fobbing me off with anti depressants without trying to get to the root of the problem
17/11/2013 at 00:51
Ally, when I last sought help for depression it was really the huge void I was feeling. Not motivated, didn't care much about very much, but I didn't feel sad or 'depressed' in the traditional sense. I was drifting and a bit, well, numb I suppose. I was reluctant to take the pills, so I did a 6 week anxiety/mental health workshop first, one evening a week, it helped me because I didn't feel odd or alone, everything I was feeling was totally normal, and the weekly exercises/questionnaires were good tools too.
I decided I would try the pills but stop them immediately if I felt uncomfortable and my GP supported me in that. My GP referred me to a local counselling centre, but I didn't feel able to go and by the time I contacted them and was assessed I had moved on a bit and didn't register enough in that they have to prioritise the worst cases, but I was okay with that and started counselling through a local charity scheme instead.
Ally, I think it's fine for you to talk to the GP but say you aren't happy with pills. Then you can have a robust conversation with them about it. I would very much hope they wouldn't pressure you. And perhaps writing down how you feel and what 'isn't quite right' before you go might help the GP focus a bit more on what might serve you best, and might help you have a clearer head. Is your appointment soon?
17/11/2013 at 07:48
Thanks counter. Haven't actually made an appointment yet. You just have to phone or surgery up in the morning to get one. I want to speak to a specific gp though and make sure there's enough time for my hv to speak to her first so I'll probably try and get one for Wednesday and that means I can speak to my hv on Tuesday
17/11/2013 at 09:10
It doesn't have to be pnd and iirc it's been before S you've felt like this. Look at the nhs symptom 'checklist' A lot of what you have mentioned is on there, and like everything you dont always have every symptom.
hopefully gp can help, maybe some lifestyle changes before meds. Also have you had blood levels etc checked for iron?
17/11/2013 at 09:36
Have just done the questionnaire on the NHS site and it says although I have some symptoms I didn't score too highly.
I had bloods taken at my 6 week check because I was having dizzy spells but I never heard anything back - probably worth getting them doe again though
17/11/2013 at 09:49
Def worth bloods getting checked - think thyroid problems can cause weight loss etc.
Is there anything you can pinpoint that you think if you changed would make life easier? Whether it be more help with the kids, a cleaner, a babysitter so you and H could get time tp yourself?
17/11/2013 at 09:56
A going to school next year will be a big help lol. I think the main problem is my H is doing loads of overtime cos we need the money so I've effectively been a single mum for a lot of the time since S was born. H and I have only had 2 nights out together in the past 2 and a half years - don't have any willing babysitters. I don't really get any me time either due to breastfeeding but I've started giving S formula once a day now which will mean I can leave him more often. Am going out for a child free lunch on Thursday which I'm looking forward to.
I've been messing about on the tax credits calculator and I think I could put J into nursery one day a week and get most of it paid for which would help but the logistics of getting him there when I don't have the car means it would probably not be worth it
17/11/2013 at 10:04
Also, I only ever really feel the way I do when I'm alone with the kids. My mind can easily be taken off it. Surely depression would be harder to let go of the feelings. Like when I'm at work I'm totally fine, or if we're out and about doing stuff. It's just when we have no plans I struggle. Maybe I'm just a crap, lazy mum lol
17/11/2013 at 10:23
If you are a crap lazy mum then so am I because I feel the same when i am alone with M. You've got it three fold. So either I'm depressed too or it's completely understandable to feel as you do. What the solution is I don't know. More planning of your days in advance? Spending more time with friends and their kids? Any local creches that are cheap that you could put J into for a few hours a couple of times a week which might be cheaper than nursery? Could you possibly get a cheapie runaround car? I'd feel trapped without my car to get out.
Hope you don't think I'm belittling how you feel though, just trying to understand x
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