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09/04/2014 at 20:14
R is 17 weeks .. since her birth I've had millions of comments about R being hungry, shouldn't be breastfeeding every 1 to 2 hours, I should give her more formula (she used to have top ups & now only has one before bed this was due to weight loss/poor weight gain) & that I shouldn't let her comfort feed and so on.
R chews constantly, people mistaken it for sucking & they think she is hungry. I think she is teething. As soon as I distract her she's happy, smiley, definitely not hungry. If she's hungry she sure lets me know about it.
I've also had the comments H started baby rice at 10weeks, so & so started weaning at 4months & bla bla.
I feel like I've had to fight for the past 17 weeks on why breastfeeding is right for my daughter.
The problem I've got now is R is starting to show signs of wanting to eat, trying to grab food out of my hand & put it in her mouth. I gave R the tiniest bit of baby porridge to see what she would do, she swallowed it & wanted more. I didn't give her any more.
I don't know what to do, H thinks its time to wean, I think its too early & would potentially consider it after 5months. I also love breastfeeding & i'm worried what will happen when LO has food, will I still fill her with my milk.
Has anyone had a similar experience?
09/04/2014 at 20:19
Hiya chuck if you have given her porridge you have started weaning. Something similar happened with U I think it was approx 16 weeks she grabbed a spoon and put food in her mouth. I nearly fell off the floor with shock. Although when she was about 8 weeks old her brother gave her banana to eat
What information/answers are you looking for?
09/04/2014 at 20:20
I thought trying to grab food wasn't a sign. To be honest they say six months now to give time for the baby's gut to mature enough to handle food. Food won't fill them up as the calories are in the milk. There is a myth that bigger babies need food earlier. It's not true, their gut matures at the same rate as any other baby. If you're happy still bf then just carry on.
To be honest I never got the rush to wean, it's a faff. Sticking milk in their mouth is easier.
09/04/2014 at 20:25
Trust your instincts! It's really, really hard when you're surrounded by others who think that your baby needs additional nourishment but honestly, starting weaning isn't the answer. Babies show interest in food because they're nosy little creatures, same as they show interest in someone sticking their tongue out at them. But they don't actually know that what food they put in their mouths at that age can satisfy their appetite.
S started making different motions with his mouth at about 20 weeks but I put it down to either teething or him just discovering how to move his mouth a different way.
You are doing a fab job with breastfeeding and you will be battling with some hefty growth spurts at 4 and 6 months so power through if you can. If baby is hungry, let her feed, it's the best thing for both of you.
The early weaning thing is a generational thing. If people ask you when, say "when we are ready". If they ask you why you're waiting then tell them what the guidelines are and that you'll do it when you feel she's ready.
Sorry, this is ranty but the weaning guidelines are something I feel strongly about! If you couldn't tell...
09/04/2014 at 20:32
Lady Laura Lou has put it so well. The other thing is, I would bet that whatever you hand her she puts in her mouth. She doesn't know it is food, she is just exploring it.
09/04/2014 at 20:44
This is the advice I am after thank you.
I don't feel ready to wean, I just feel I have a lot of comments/pressure from everyone around me that i'm basically starving my baby. The comments come mainly on an evening when my milk is at its lowest, R gets very fussy on the breast & cries until I give her an expressed bottle, she is then generally satisfied for the rest of the evening with just breast.
R gains approx. 4/5oz a week but due to weight loss/slow weight gain at the beginning, she is in the 0.4 percentile but she is following the line nicely. People seem to have a problem that she is small, the doctors/HV do not have any concern, this is what I tell people if they make comments.
I don't know why i'm letting people get to me, I never have before, I think maybe its just because I feel my parenting skills are being criticised. I think we are doing really well with breastfeeding considering the bad start we had. Surely R would be screaming non stop if I was starving her.
I'm trying to ignore comments from people but its hard when it concerns my baby
09/04/2014 at 20:58
(Please note I am not voicing my own opinions, just sharing what I was advised)
I was dead against early weaning but my baby still attends his neonatal consultant and he recommends to start weaning if a baby is showing signs they are ready even if before 6 months. He explained the 6 months was a worldwide average. Ireland (I think) recommend to start at 4 months and some third world countries recommend 2 years as they have such poor food available.
As it was I tried my baby with baby rice before 6 months after the above advice and he wasn't ready at all so I took his lead and didn't try again until 6 months.
09/04/2014 at 21:25
I hated the run up to weaning, from 4 months old it seems like all everyone wants to do is feed your baby chocolate or judge you for 'starving' him.
My LO was always on the small side and I was frequently advised by my HV to switch to formula. I didn't, I persevered and he found his place on the centile and stuck to it nicely. Steady weight gain is much more important than where they are on the centile. He's still small now at 14 months old he still fits into 9-12 m clothes so clearly weaning wasn't the magical solution to him jumping up the centiles, some babies are just small.
Weaning early is your decision but I would try not to let others pressure you into doing it and your breast milk will provide more than enough nutrition for her. We BLWed so it took a while for him to be taking in much food but he survived as milk was still providing him with all the nutrition he needed. 'Food is for fun until they are one' is something that I used to try to remind myself during the early weaning days.
And besides, weaning is so much faff! I'll not be in any rush if I ever have another!
09/04/2014 at 21:52
Thanks for your experiences I feel much more confident in my decision to continue breastfeeding.
I do think R would be small if we ff & when we wean as she is very similar to me when I was born.
I am now armed with more information when I get negative comments.
09/04/2014 at 22:15
Glad this has helped you. Agree with the others that weaning is a faff whatever way you do it (blw or spoon feeding) so waiting will at least save you some of that stress! As for centiles, S rose slightly above his when we introduced formula but not by much. A steady weight gain is more important.
09/04/2014 at 22:40
Babies put everything in their mouths and A certainly went through a phase of constantly chewing on his hands. This stopped when he discovered his feet a few weeks later and stated chewing on those instead! He puts everything in his mouth, food or non food, he doesn't know the difference and is just exploring the world. Hang on until you feel you are both ready, you know what you're doing.
09/04/2014 at 22:47
Another way to think about it is that the people who are telling you to start weaning no doubt weaned their children at 16 weeks as per the guidelines at the time (thinking prob your mothers generation ?) so by going against that it may feel to them that you are saying what they did was wrong.
My mum had a brilliant way of looking at it which was to say that although we do things differently, we actually both did the same as we both followed the current guidelines of the time. It might help you to put it that way to the people who are commenting.
09/04/2014 at 22:48
What does R weigh now lovey? She's pretty much the same age as O and he is FF, a total milk guzzler and was on the 9th centile and rose to the 25th when we got his milk intolerance sorted out and his formula changed and has stayed on the 25th since. As everyone says, the important thing is that she's following the curve, you can't win lovey, if she suddenly jumped up to the 50th they would be wondering if she was over feeding!
You've done amazing to feed to now and if you and R are happy to keep doing so then that's what's best for you. It's not their baby and it's not them that's feeding her so it's none of their concern!!
O puts everything in his mouth, I give him a plastic spoon now when he's in his highchair and we are eating and he will put it in his mouth (or hit himself in the face!) if I had him a toy, muslin, anything it all gets rammed in. He also stares when we eat now but he's just watching everything as everything is new and a way for him to learn.
You wean when you feel ready!!
09/04/2014 at 23:00
I was advised by A's paediatrician to wean at 17 weeks but I really didn't feel like she was ready so I I didn't. We had another appointment when she was 21 weeks and I was again advised to wean and at this point I did feel she was more ready. To be honest its been a bit of a nightmare for various reasons! I definitely agree with everyone who has said trust your instincts and go with what you feel is right!
10/04/2014 at 11:34
missdeedee - R is 10.8lb, she didn't get back to her birth weight until she was 5weeks then has gained 4/5oz a week since then. I feel like she is following her own pattern, not following a graph. Coming on here makes me realise its not just my baby that doesn't follow the graph.
Thank you for all your advice & experiences, i'm a lot happier now. I feel like I am doing the right thing with sticking with breastfeeding.
The comments I tend to get are from people who had children 30yrs ago & from those who have decided not to follow the guidelines. I go to a breastfeeding group every week with the breastfeeding coordinator for our area. If I ever have any concerns with R's weight or the way she is feeding I always get the best advice from her, unlike the HV who's only advice is ever top up with formula. I haven't mentioned the weaning to her though as they are very against weaning early.
R does constantly have everything in her mouth, anything she can get hold of goes in. If she can't grab something its her hands or dress. I think she may be teething as I can feel little sharp bits on her gums.
I'm going to do my best & ignore the comments & trust my motherly instincts. I will wean her when I feel comfortable. Its really starting to make me not enjoy my baby when i'm constantly being criticised & made to think i'm doing things wrong.
10/04/2014 at 11:50
Definitely a developmental thing, putting their hands in their mouths to explore, not a sign that they are ready for food. I say this having just watched my 17 week old nearly get his fist in his mouth, quite impressive. Last night he got hold of a baby wipe and put it in his mouth, he won't be doing that again for a while! lol.
I know that now B is 17 weeks we have hit the time when every person and his dog will be asking when we will wean (read telling us he looks ready for food, needs more than milk etc). My response will be that he is still putting on weight and isn't looking for more so why would I be bothered with the faff of weaning if not needed. My other response is he does look it but he hasn't lost his tongue thrust yet and that flummoxes them enough so I can change the subject. OHs GPs have already started asking every time we see them if he is on food, when we will wean and that he 'looks ready for food/is hungry'. We have told them the new guidelines are 6 months and I know his nan hears me as she told his mum, yet she still asks. Drives me batty but I can let it go over my head as they are in their 80s. They ( and his mum) are constantly telling me that OH was eating curry at 12 weeks, I think I overstepped the mark last time with his mum when I said I knew as I had heard five times but OH quickly jumped in lol.
I weaned (my other) B at 17 weeks due to comments, I quickly realised he wasn't ready for it and we stopped. From then on, I decided to never listen to comments and listen to my instincts. Drove my mum mad when I didn't potty train until B was 3 yrs and 3 months, she kept saying he should be in pants, he wasn't ready until then and we sailed through with one accident which was my fault anyway.
Trust your instincts and know your guidelines so you can just reply with them. I have told my mum before that she followed her guidelines and I am following mine, made her think differently :)
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