Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
12/05/2014 at 11:12
This week's topic - PND came up in the suggestion thread and I thought that just trying to cope in general - whatever little one's age - would be a good discussion.
Who do you turn to, if anyone? How do you manage each day when you feel like you can't manage any more? Have you been in that place, or perhaps you're still there? Any advice for others? Please feel free to add to the discussion in any way you like :)
I don't have experience of PND specifically, so if anyone would share their experiences, first- or second-hand, that would be great x
12/05/2014 at 12:30
I'm currently experiencing PND and would love to hear from others who have been through it! When I first had my LO everyone said how well I coped with a newborn but now I see I was over compensated and should have spent time sat down resting rather than obsessively cleaning and tidying or visiting lots of people- I should have got people to come to me. I think I tried to put on a perfect image whereas really I felt very lost. I found it difficult to cope with my EMCS and have found that birth reflections has semi helped with that but I still have days where I struggle with it. I found myself crying more and more and then putting on a front when my H came home or I met up with friends, eventually it all got too much and I told my H. Since then I have seen a useless HV who did nothing and then my GP who has referred me to even more useless agencies that are meant to help! I have found my H and family the best support and am slowly starting to feel better, my aim is too feel totally myself within the next few weeks with help from family as I can't seem to access the professional support (not through lack of trying). I hope if others are suffering quietly this may help them feel like they can talk about it coz If nothing else I understand lol!
12/05/2014 at 13:30
I suffered from PND for at least 5 or 6 months after my DD was born. I had an EMCS (after full labour) and I still struggle with that to this day, and I can't help but think it caused my PND. I loved being pregnant, so having a traumatic birth was a difficult end to a lovely pregnancy. After the birth I would feed DD at night and just lie in bed and cry, and quite often wonder if her life and my husbands life would be better without me. When she would cry in the daytime when I was alone I couldn't cope and I thought she was crying because I was a bad mum. Luckily I have a wonderful family to support me and now I feel back to normal again. It's was such a lonely thing to go through though, even though people said they understood, I just felt like I was on my own in it.
12/05/2014 at 17:51
I suffered awful PND after having my first son. I hated doing anything without my H about. If I went shopping I would sweat and go beet root in colour. My temper was awful, and my self confidence was nil. I was lucky in that I bonded well with my baby, but I was too protective and nervous, I had to do everything for him. If he and h ever went out together to give me a breather, I'd cry hysterically the whole time convinced something would happen to them and I wouldn't be there for them. H used to have to work away, my mum would try and convince me to bring P and stay at hers the night. I'd be adamant that I didn't want to and be quite nasty to her, then again I'd cry after putting down the phone because I did want to go to her. Go figure! I am totally amazed by what our brain can do to us. Before this I was completely unaware of oh it could almost turn against us. At P's year check up I admitted how bad I was, I was put on tablets. I had no follow up care at all. I would regularly have to see the doctor as I have eczema. On my many visits due to the stress flaring my eczema up, the doctor never once asked how I was mentally, never gave me a replete prescription. My advice is I beg you to please seek help. P was 3 years old before I felt myself again, because I struggled with no professional help. I don't want to scare people, but see that as advice please. If I'd had help maybe those first few years could have been an enjoyable breeze?
I now have a 2yr old, S aswel. I was sure PND would strike again, while scared it would I was prepared to speak up for myself this time and get help. It didn't happen. I had S, under a stressful birth as with P. Yet I walked out of the hospital feeling great and positive and I never looked back. Please don't presume that you have it once so will certainly suffer again. It really isn't the case.
12/05/2014 at 20:34
QS it's good to see that it doesn't have to happen with a second, that's been yet another thing that has put me off having more children! Thank both of you for sharing very helpful x
12/05/2014 at 23:15
13/05/2014 at 07:41
Thanks mrs bass I will look into it!
13/05/2014 at 13:58
I am at risk of PND due to having a history with depression/anxiety.
Thanks for sharing your experiences as it's given me an idea of what to look out for so I can try and identify it early if I do get it.
I hope that you get the help you need Noodle and are feeling more yourself very soon xxx
13/05/2014 at 14:27
My H was worried that I would get PND, not through any concrete evidence, but it seemed to worry him as something he couldnt help with. I think he felt that because I'd had food/eating issues in the past and was putting on weight fast by eating loads (5 stone in total) that this would effect my mental health after if I couldnt lose it/felt pants about myself, as well as things baby related. As it was, none of his fears were realised. I believe a couple things i did helped. I got out and about straight away after H went back to work, I went to baby groups, met with friends, at least a walk every day. Something so that I wasnt 'stuck' in with Z all the time. I also stopped BF after 10 weeks, which is obviously a very personal decision and I am in no way suggesting this is what people should do, but I needed to feel like I wasnt tied to Z all the time, I needed to do some of the things I did before, and I needed to feel like me, not just her mum. What I think I'm saying is yes, you need to do what is good for your baby, but you also need to consider yourself in everything too. A happy mum is good for baby.
14/05/2014 at 17:37
Good to see people sharing their experiences.
My family are/were concerned about me getting PND, I'm 1,000 times better than I used to be at noticing changes in myself/state of mind so I'm being vigilant. I have had 3 main bouts of depression, aged 18, and then twice in my 30s. I have a feeling that PND could be worse than regular depression (which is because I assume there would be a lot of guilt; if a new mum is expected to be happy about baby's arrival and ends up feeling anything but happy).
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