Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
02/06/2014 at 19:18
Please feel free to post any questions.
And it would be fab if any mums could post their memories, anecdotes or advice about those first few days post-birth.
02/06/2014 at 19:56
Don't underestimate how tired you will be - you might feel like Superwoman post birth but it may well catch up with you later.
If it squeaks, feed it.
Take as much help as is on offer, don't turn any help down.
And do whatever works, there's no such thing as a rod for your own back. Enjoy the cuddles and ignore well meaning advice, especially from different generations.
02/06/2014 at 21:00
SIT AND REST!! you might feel ok but your body has gone through a big ordeal however smoot the birth.
I know from talking to me friends and my experience, the lack of sleep can cause a lot of couples the argue during the night, a very wise friend said to me ' any arguement that happens in the night, should be forgotten come the morning'
Enjoy it, if you want to sit and cuddle baby all day long do it! its flies so fast savour every lovely stage (speaking as a mum of 6.5yr old and 4yrs who no longer have much time for cuddles as their 'too busy!')
02/06/2014 at 21:02
It's going to be a hideous, sleep deprived experience - don't fight it, just go with it.
02/06/2014 at 21:35
If it's your 1st, sleep when the baby did. I did this & didn't worry about the house work (did the dishwasher & washing & that was about it), we'd batched cooked lots of food in preparation to so didn't need to cook for a few weeks!
If you're feeling fine you don't need to stay in (previous generations were told to have 4 weeks bed rest). We went to the new born check the day after she was born then on days 3 & 4 we were on the bus going to the cinema, registering her & opening bank accounts & library cards. On the other hand don't feel you have to. Do what you're comfortable with.
Have a 'babymoon' we wanted some time to bond with our baby & get to know her before anyone came to visit. She was born on a Thursday & family came on the sunday (would've been longer if she'd been born earlier in the week). Don't feel you have to fit in visitors. You & your baby come 1st (same goes with asking people to leave when you need your space!)
03/06/2014 at 07:20
For us, the first 10 days were bliss! S fed and slept and fed and slept. It was when he was 3 weeks it all went to pot! Enjoy those sleepy, milk drunk cuddles. They don't last.
Take it easy - I always felt raring to go but five minutes in to a walk, changing the bed or washing up I'd be shattered.
If you are breastfeeding and have a cluster feeder, set yourself up with a pyramid of food, a flask of tea and a stack of DVDs and just bed down.
Don't stress yourself out with advice from well-meaning relatives, friends or Dr Google. I was obsessed with looking up All The Things and should have gone with the flow. The advice your parents or grandparents give you was fine when they had their children but times move on and research improves so it might not be the same now. This is for the duration really, not just the first ten days.
If you're finding it hard to settle baby in the crib/moses like us, some of the following might help: a t-shirt smelling of you over the mattress, warmed gently with a hot water bottle and white noise. I had an app on my phone that played womb noises which we used solidly for 2 months at night.
03/06/2014 at 07:42
Don't underestimate the effect hormones and sleep deprivation have on you post birth....It is completely normal to cry, even when you're chuffed to bits with your new arrival.
Don't be afraid to ask visitors to leave if you're tired, or put them off for a while all together. The first couple of weeks are vital bonding time and especially with your first baby you need time to get to know them and how they work ;-) (we had far too many visitors and not enough cuddles with our own son!!) . Also don't be waiting on visitors...point out where the kettle etc are. You've just given birth, you need to rest and keep your strength up.
No one is an expert as soon as baby arrives...you'll find the coming weeks, months and years are a huge learning curve. Embrace it and don't be afraid to ask questions (mw, family, friends, here etc) if you have any worries or concerns. No question is deemed stupid.
Formula is not poison....whether you need to top up BF with FF, or BF simply doesn't work out for you. You are feeding your baby and meeting their needs and that is all that matters....A happy mummy = a happy baby. No need for Mummy guilt
03/06/2014 at 10:17
I'm watching this with great interest, some good tips so far.
03/06/2014 at 11:03
A friend had told me that the first rwo weeks were hell, and once you survive that, it gets so much easier!
You know that new parents are tired but nothing can prepare you for just how tired you are going to be! Everyone tells you "sleep when they sleep" but once they go to sleep, you have to decide between sleeping, having a shower, eating! You have to prioritise!
Agree with the offer to accept help. from friends family and the Midwife/health visitors.
Dont be afraid to be stern and say no. one morning a friend text to say she was near by could she pop in, i was on the sofa, still in my pjs,( stinking a bit of stale milk and bo!) so i said no!
We also had some friends come over and cook us dinner one night which was lovely, but they didnt leave until about 9pm, we really should have kicked them out earlier!
breast feeding can be painful to start with. whilst you are in hospital the midwives to check your latch. It might be worth fining a local breastfeeding group in advance as they could be invaluable for support and reassurance in the first 10 days.
keep a diary. I kept a diary trhough out my prgnancy, basicly what I had written on the tri threads. during the first few weeks i had a note book out and just wrote down little things when they happend then a few weeks later when i was a bit more with it, wrote it down properly!
03/06/2014 at 12:05
I put all the tea, coffee, cold drinks, cups and glasses on the side in the kitchen and told people to help themselves. I wasn't getting up and down to serve people after my section
Don't change the baby on the bed in the night. It seems like a good idea but it's not :-) they wee and it goes everywhere and at 4am you are changing your bed lol
Do what you think is best, people can advise but ultimately go with what you think is best
Don't forget daddy, make time for cuddles and chats etc.
Take all the help offered, don't be afraid to ask someone to put the hoover round or do the washing up.
If you have a section, rest lots, don't push yourself even if you feel fine!
03/06/2014 at 12:21
I felt like I could take on the world the day after I gave birth. Two days later, the adrenaline wore off, the sleep deprecation kicked in and I felt so uncomfortable, exhausted and crashed. Take it easy, you don't need to be superwoman, and don't underestimate the impact of childbirth on your body.
If your H is on paternity leave, make the most of it. If you feel up to it, try do some nice things, even if it's just a walk round a park, or go for a coffee (or if you don't feel like going out have a nice lunch at home). Don't spend all day everyday entertaining visitors, spend time as a family. We registered S on day 6 and turned it into a family day, we went for a little walk around town and for lunch. I felt surreal pushing her down the high street!
When people give you presents make a little note of who gave you what, when you finally get round to writing thank you notes baby brain will have kicked in and you'll completely forget that some people even gave you presents.
My parents had an afternoon at their house for their friends to visit. It cut down on the visitors coming to our house (and therefore the cleaning we had to do!), they fed us and it meant that lots of people got to see her without any effort from us. Plus me and H got roast dinner cooked for us!
Take lots of photos, the newborn bit is over so quickly!
Google can be your friend, as well as your enemy. Use it wisely! This board is full of good advice, I got so many useful tips when I came on here worrying about my episiotimy stiches. I felt like I could trust the advice from here more than some other boards.
Mrs Bass, I love the diary idea. Gutted I didn't really that 8 weeks ago!
03/06/2014 at 13:27
oh yes, lots of photos, they change so quickly.
I would add, dont be afraid to have a little weep if you need to.
the tiredness and amount of hormones rushing through you makes it normal. I was worried at first that someone would hatch me having a little weep but that was silly. better out than in!
A friend got asked by her midwife at a check up if she had been weepy and when she said only once or twice, the midwife said that was perfectly normal, they would be suspicious if a new mum said she hadnt been!
03/06/2014 at 16:43
No-body told me about the baby blues that can kick in on day 2 or 3 - I was bawling the whole time and totally confused as I was so happy - Don't under estimate how that can hit you. Don't make too many (if any) plans - go with the flow. For first time Mums it is NORMAL to be terrified going out with the pram the first time!!! It took me about 20 mins to attempt to cross the street! As inexperienced and out of your depth as you WILL feel - you intinctively know the right thing to do so believe in yourself! And the one thing that keeps you going is the motto '' it will pass....'' :)
03/06/2014 at 18:08
You will feel amazing for a short while but sleep when baby is sleeping and forget the housework.
Batch cooking before baby arrives makes the first few days so much easier.
Stay hydrated! Especially if bbreastfeeding...and on that subject, when your milk comes through a hot bath/shower is great relief as they will literally triple in size before your eyes!
The "cotton feel" pads are much more comfortable if you have stitches...
Enjoy baby, looking back at A's newborn videos and she already looks completely different!
Don't be afraid to ask questions, whether it's the MW, HV, GP or friends and family. Nothing is too silly or small and you'll feel better once you have piece of mind.
03/06/2014 at 18:35
I've bookmarked this thread. There are some great tips here!
03/06/2014 at 20:28
Also I had to put a towel under my sheet, in the first fortnight I was leaking fluids everywhere, whether I was bleeding, or it was my milk or even night sweats.
03/06/2014 at 22:29
Also, you may experience after pains (I never knew of this til I got them!) ...They feel similar to contractions and it's just where your uterus is going back to its normal size
10/06/2014 at 14:54
Firstly - you don't have to stay in hospital (if that's where you are) if you don't want to. It's different for everyone but many people I know felt so low being stuck in or not being able to be with their partner. You can discharge yourself if you wanted, which doesn't need to be a massive drama. I explained to them that I would stay for X amount of time but then I would go and if necessary return the next day, it meant the world to me to spend the night at home with my family and there were no medical reasons to compel us to stay. They worked hard to discharge us per protocol but if they hadn't I'd have left anyway.
Visitors - feel free to say NO! We had some open house days where anyone could come at any time they fancied, and other days where we declined all visitors without exception. It really suited us!
You might be buzzing for a few days after. I barely slept the first 3 days, and couldn't wind down. I was on 'baby red alert' and wanted to watch/care for her 24/7. That wore off! So accept help wherever you can get it. I hear 'sleep when baby sleeps' but if you're not a napper it's not as simple as that. But sleep does matter so if you miss out on other things to get sleep, so be it.
The after pains can be HELL. Almost a second labour, but way shorter ;) It was upsetting for me and those in the room at the time. However by day 4 they'd stopped completely.
Breastfeeding can hurt. Even when it's going well, and is 'right', it can still hurt. Over time it gets less difficult, until one day you realise it's not uncomfortable at all. Woohoo!
If breastfeeding makes you feel over emotional or depressed google D-MER and talk to the midwife/HV and family/friends. Don't suffer alone.
If you can't breastfeed don't beat yourself up. Milk is not the only thing we provide our babies with :)
If anything is difficult or confusing or anything at all - TALK. Talk to someone. All parents have questions, concerns, funny thoughts and worries. Don't feel silly or nervous, talk to people and it almost always helps.
10/06/2014 at 19:01
10/06/2014 at 21:53
Oh. First poo. Sorry! Just remembered.
Tmi but if you had a vaginal delivery it's possible that the first bowel movement is painful and actually quite traumatic. The concept of pushing is just too much to bear!!! Try to relax and all will be fine :)
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