Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
02/09/2013 at 17:28
My LO is incredibly shy.
I remember being painfully shy as a child - to the point where, for example, I wouldn't buy sweets from the shop incase the shopkeeper spoke to me.
I've grown out of it (completely - am quite confident / assertive / outspoken now!) Can't really remember when I outgrew it - possibly Uni.
I'm not too worried as its handy as she stays glued to my side in public! Although I don't want it to affect making friends at school etc.
What makes children shy?
02/09/2013 at 18:04
I have no idea but i was awfully shy as a kid. I would be like a limpet with my mum, and there's even a picture of me clung onto my grandma while my sister and my own cousins played at her feet. My own cousins!!
I really don't want A to be the same, but I have no idea why I was so shy so don't really know how to combat it..!
02/09/2013 at 19:20
I wish I knew too. I was really shy at school and have completely grown out of it (although I wouldn't describe myself as outgoing or assertive).
I suspect it's just a personality thing that we can't change. Some people are just naturally introverts and more prone to being shy.
I think all we can do is reassure our children and try to appear outgoing so they follow by example.
02/09/2013 at 21:01
I was painfully shy as a child. My mum thought the best way to deal with it was to shout at me and tell me that everybody thought I was rude. That in turn has given me a major complex about what people think of me!
I'm still shy now, coupled with worrying that people are rude I find it really difficult in social situations, especially where people already know each other or just seem to gel. At work, I manage to come across as confident but it's taken a long time and a lot of effort to be able to do that
Wish I knew what caused it and how to get over it socially and I really hope baby doesn't end up as shy as me, I'd love them to be more outgoing like my brother is
02/09/2013 at 22:21
Matilda is really shy until she is confident in her surroundings.
She could see my Mum every day but still hide behind me when we see her.
It's awful and I hope it improves at school.
03/09/2013 at 08:22
I'm not sure what makes children shy, N has always been really confident and will talk to anyone but he still has shy moments. I tend to encourage him to go and ask for things now and if he refuses I'll do it but take him with me eg. Buying an ice cream or something simple. I was outgoing as a child until I was 7 and had some back problems which affected my appearance, ever since I have been very self-conscious and insecure. I swing between being shy and being confident depending on the situation and the people and how I'm feeling that day.
03/09/2013 at 08:34
C was shy. His speech issues meant he was self conscious, and was overly aware that he could sound "silly", so chose to not talk, and keep to himself.
It took him months to get used to people, but once he knew someone, and knew they weren't going to mock him, he was fine.
I can remember when he was in Reception class, and his teacher came running out at home time, saying "C actually came up to talk to me. I can't believe it, this is brilliant", as he only ever said "yes miss" or "here miss".
Once he gained more confidence with his talking, his shyness slowly went.
I was shy as a kid. I had a massive family, where everyone fought for attention. That seemed like too much effort, so I went in to myself. I was always the quiet one, the good girl, who wouldn't say boo to a goose. That changed at around 16.
03/09/2013 at 09:23
I used to tell my son off for not saying hello to people we bumped in to. It was so embarrassing when he would simply look at the ground and refuse to acknowledge anyone. I couldn't just let it go, but I just didn't know what else to do. I was pretty strict with him, I knew that he was able, on a different day, to engage. I was the same with pleases and thank yous. Don't say it, don't get anything, end of.
Things improved greatly when he was 4 and my then-boyfriend's kids would stay a lot, aged 6 & 8 they were fearlessly sociable and really helped to give him the extra confidence. He's now extremely confident and will often take on challenges his peers won't. He did a brilliant speech at my wedding and addressed a convention of local businesses when he was on his work experience. I'm so glad for him he grew out of that phase.
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