Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
26/01/2014 at 20:14
when to have another baby?
We have my SD V 12 and DD L who is 16months.
I am 22, so age isn't against me, but my H is 49, so time isn't really on his side. I know I defiantly want another baby, but how do you know when? I'm getting broodier and broodier. H is happy to go along with what I want.
We had a really stressful year last year, but now we're getting all settled I've been thinking about another baby more and more. How do you "know" when to TTC? How much does it change the family dynamics?
26/01/2014 at 20:25
It's a tough one, I don't think there is ever a time to be ready but when your head tells you that you want another go for it then I think! I was adamant that my 4.5 month old was my one and only but am starting to relent and I'm thinking once he is 2 but if the feeling of need changes before then will bring it forward!
26/01/2014 at 20:46
It's so difficult when its head says one thing and heart says another! Gahh.
26/01/2014 at 20:57
It really is, there never is the perfect moment I don't think and you never know how long these things can take unfortunatly!
26/01/2014 at 21:19
Yes your totally right, it took us a while conceiving our LO, hubby has low sperm count and mobility, so it would be better to try sooner rather than later really
26/01/2014 at 22:38
I agree that it's never 'perfect'. There's always things going against the decision. Who, really, has ample time, money, space, energy, no health worries and nothing else going on in their lives, lol?! :)
But some pros and cons are more serious or far-reaching than others. If those things are things you can live with and your heart is shouting to go for it then go for it!!
26/01/2014 at 22:53
I agree...like with trying for number 1, there is never a perfect time. If we waited til we could afford things/life settled down/work quietened down etc we'd never do anything. We were ready when O was 19 months, we conceived a month later! I knew,it was time, I had a yearning far far stronger than I did first time round, being a parent made me know I NEEDED to do it all again. Being around babies turned me to mush and filled me with jealousy! (I'm not a nutter, honest! ;-) )
27/01/2014 at 06:52
We're kind of looking at a 3/4 hear age gap but I know I'll be broody before then! Like noodle, I was adamant for a while that S would be an only child due to a tough time after his birth and he also had silent reflux so has been a bit of a nightmare at times. We've had a rethink since then though, I want him to have a playmate.
I don't think there's ever a good time though, you can't wait for the stars to align. We were lucky that we conceived 2nd month but if we wait 3 years before trying again, I'll be nearly 35 so I know our chances of doing that again won't be as high.
Taking that into account I'm thinking we will probably start trying before then, especially if my fellow tri buddies start showing signs of having another before then...noodle?! ;)
27/01/2014 at 10:57
I knew about 6 days after W was born that i wanted another one. But i put that down to hormones and the ups and downs of them settling. - I was nearly crying in Superdrug because i walked past the pregnancy tests.
H and i are both 27 (i'll be 28 in March) and We had originally thought we'd wait until W was nearly 3 before trying for another one, but over the last few months, i've been thinking more and more that I want a smaller age gap between babies (don't want to get out the habit of having a baby in the house). H is in agreement. W will be 1 in May, and all things going to plan re a house, we're going to start trying again in the Summer!
27/01/2014 at 12:38
Haha popcorn just let me know! I wonder who else we could get on board margot, BG, IDC etc!
27/01/2014 at 13:37
We had always planned a 3yr age gap as minimum between #1 and #2 but lots of people around me started having babies when #1 was 18m ish, and I got really broody. He didn't seem like a baby quite so much by that time as well which made me feel the time was right, we have 2y7m between them. It was a different decision with #3, I just wanted to get on with it as didn't want to have a huge gap and we ended up with 3y1m between #2 and #3.
Popcorn and Noodle, I'm really pleased you're both thinking of another - I won't be joining you though, 3 is more than enough here, and H has had the snip now so no chance!
27/01/2014 at 14:28
Lovely to see you margot hope N is well! May be wanting your advice nearer the time re planned c- section!
27/01/2014 at 14:29
Thank you all very much!
There is always going to be health/age/ time/money/space/energy and other things going on in life. And I do want a play mate for L, in a few years time V is going to be off out with friends, boyfriend and busy with school and other stuff. And L will be pretty much alone as we live in a small village. I really really don't want her to be pretty much alone.
Not quite made up my mind, but got a lot more to think about and feeling much better about it
27/01/2014 at 15:02
We thought we'd start trying when L was around 18m, so we'd have around a 2 1/2yr age gap, but I fell pregnant a bit before that, so we ended up with 2yrs 2m. There is never a right time, and when was born, things couldn't have been worse for us financially, but you do just get on with things.
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