19/09/2013 at 13:27
Thought it might be interesting to see when people shared their good news. I expect typically its after the 12 week scan, but interested to see who did that, and who did earlier / later. Was there any reason behind your decision on when to tell people?
19/09/2013 at 13:41
Told my son, my mum/dad and my sis the day of the BFP. My sister has had extensive fertiility issues and I have always wished she would keep me updated/I could support her better, so it felt wrong not to share with her. Also, she's pretty up to date on all things pregnancy as she's 9 weeks ahead of me with twins! Told H's mum.
Same week we told 2 couples we're really close with, the wife of one and the husband of the other were in our wedding party in July so we're pretty close. And they'd have guessed if I was sober at a catch-up dinner, lol. Told 2 of my old friends. Plus two ex colleagues I used to work with and am very fond of but don't know anyone in my 'real life' and I don't see often. Oh yes, another friend who lives north and she and I text daily. And H's boss because H works in France and would need time off for appointments or would come back to be with me if there was an issue. And H's best friend, our best man.
Told my ex-husband but asked him to keep it a secret. I wanted my son, if he was worried or anything, to have someone he could talk to and I don't feel right asking him to keep secrets from his own dad, even though I'm not his biggest fan.
And we're not even 12 weeks. So quite a few. But I would happily be open with any of those people if we have problems with the pregnancy. Hardest for me has been feeling so wretched and upset at work and unable to explain why I'm struggling.
19/09/2013 at 13:47
I have told my parent's, 3 sisters and my best friend... H told his parent's and his brother and sister and that is it... We are going to keep it from everyone else until we have had the scan :)
I told my best friend last week but everyone else got told when we had our BFP!
19/09/2013 at 13:48
I'm almost 14 weeks and had 12 week scan 9 days ago and am slowly telling people. Before 12 weeks, my mum, sis, in-laws and three friends knew, plus one of Hs friends. Now, my work know, more friends know and a few of Hs, we are just telling people as and when we see them really. But I had a mc last year and was pretty much in denial till the scan that I was actually pregnant so still getting my head round it myself! I've got a friend who has had fertility issues that I'd like to tell face to face so planning to see her before telling other friends in our "group".
19/09/2013 at 13:50
We told our folks a couple of days after our bfp - we did ivf so if we hadn't told them quickly we would have had to lie and say it hasn't worked which felt very wrong!
We then told our close friends - 6 couples, and H's sister at 7 weeks, after our early scan.
Everyone else was after 12 weeks.
We would have told the above people had anything gone wrong anyhow so I had no issue sharing it 'early', but it was nice to keep it on the low to others, then happily announce after 12 weeks, without feeling the need to say 'it's early days, but...'
19/09/2013 at 13:51
We told parents and siblings within a week of getting the BFP. My aunties, uncles, grandparents and best friends not long after. H told his best friend soon too, but held out a bit longer to tell his extended family. All the people I'd told would be people I'd feel comfortable going to in the event of a loss. It's a personal decision but I'd find it harder having to say "I was pregnant but lost the baby" rather than them already know of the pregnancy and me just telling them of the loss IYSWIM. I'm quite open, I don't cope well with secrets! Work I told my manager so she could keep an eye out for me, my colleagues I held out until just before my scan, then put it on Facebook for everyone else to know too.
Maybe we did tell everyone too quickly, but we were excited and didn't personally feel the need to keep it under wraps. I also wouldn't have lied for the sake of keeping it secret.
19/09/2013 at 14:16
Told my best mate at about 8 weeks as she came to stay and guessed. Told my mum at 9 weeks and then we kept it quiet until 14 weeks (we went on holiday 2 hours after our 12 week scan).
19/09/2013 at 14:28
We haven't told anyone yet (I'm 6+5) and don't plan to until we've had our early scan next week when I'll be 7+6. Providing all is ok we will tell my family and my best friend and her husband. Not sure on IL's at the moment, maybe when we see them next but they have been so full on with us about having kids and the fact that we had difficulties just made it so much worse. If something was to happen I wouldnt want them to know, whereas I know my family would be supportive and not put pressure on us afterwards to conceive again whereas H's family would.
Since finding out I've seen my family and it was so hard not to tell them but I wanted to make sure everything was ok with a scan first. I've also seen one of my best friends which was hard not to tell her but she's way off having kids and I'm not sure she'd be the most sympathetic if something went wrong so I'll tell her later on.
I'm just more of a worrier I guess. I try to imagine whether I'd tell them if something went wrong. If I wouldn't, then I wont tell them before the 12 week scan.
That being said, if you make it to 8 weeks and there is a heartbeat the stats go down to 3% chance of miscarriage. After 12 weeks its 1%, so not really much difference, hence we might just tell people after our early scan if everything is ok.
19/09/2013 at 15:00
I held off from work because I on'y just signed my contract this week, and my boss is leaving and I'm taking over. I don't want them to change their plans because of my maternity leave. I'd be devastated. I need to hold off as long as possible but want to tell the lovely people I work with!!
19/09/2013 at 16:04
We told no one until after the 12 week scan, we then told parents and siblings and 1 set of friends, we told the rest of our close friends and aunts uncles etc only after the 20 week scan, this was our choice as we wanted to be as sure as we could be everything was ok (ie after the 20 week scan) before we told people a lot of . Some friends we don't see often didn't know until baby was born. as we didn't do a mass we are expcting anouncement so unless they saw us when it was obvious or it came up in conversation they didnt know.
19/09/2013 at 16:29
Drifter - Did you find it hard to cover at 20 weeks? I always imagine people looking obvious by that stage!
19/09/2013 at 16:49
We told our parents at about 6 weeks, so two weeks after my BFP. We had some early bleeding at 5+ weeks so wanted to be open with them about what was happening, siblings also told at the same time.
I told a couple of my closest friends not long after that and a few people at work - all people I would turn to if the worst had happened which it thankfully didn't. Also told my boss who as I needed time off for scans and appointments and I found it easier to be honest with her - we're quite close.
Everyone else found out gradually after our 12 week scan.
19/09/2013 at 16:53
I just told my boss (not the big boss/owner, my immediate boss) he was thrilled, and helpful about maternity cover timings etc.
19/09/2013 at 17:06
Mrs_A no my bump was all but non exisitant at 20 weeks only obvious if I wore a top that showed it apart from jeans at 20 weeks I could still wear my non maternity clothes (dresses leggings and tunic etc)
I know lots of people show earlier/ are bigger with number two so might not be able to hide it so long then
19/09/2013 at 19:47
I told pretty much everyone as soon as we found out. I can't keep secrets and I knew if the worst did happen questions would be asked by colleagues as to why I was off work as we are all quite close.
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