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16/08/2013 at 22:26
How long is it before PND isn't likely to happen? I've noticed i feel down quite abit recently, but W is 11 weeks old, so it can't be PND can it? I still laugh a lot when my sister is round visiting, but thats about it. I don't get excited about things, including H coming home from work... I'm at a loss as to whats going on
16/08/2013 at 22:48
I don't think there's a set time frame for pnd. Are you tired? Are you getting out and about much? This time is different for me as I have a preschooler too but when he ws little I had to have something planned every day to get out the house for, even if it was a good walk round the lanes, cake with friends etc. helps you feel like you've done something. Meeting over mums also helped me feel like everything was normal!
I know you exercised a lot in pregnancy. Have you been able to do much since? That would probably help you feel more positive I expect. Have a look and see if there are any buggyfit classes or similar near you.
Baby days are pretty monotonous to be honest!
16/08/2013 at 23:42
You can get PND up to a year after birth. Have you done the questionnaire?
17/08/2013 at 00:30
I'm beyond knackered at the moment, despite W sleeping through the night! We're moving house next week so all my time is spent packing between W needing me. I did the questionaire, but I was fine! I don't know what depression is supposed to feel like as I know it can take various forms and severity. Just spent the last hour talking to H about whether our relationship was working (it's not really) and if we think it's worth saving (we think so) I spend so much time not knowing how to answer the question 'How are you feeling?' because I just don't know. All I know is that I feel sad.
I love W more than life itself and he makes me smile, but when he's sleeping and i'm on my own, I feel like all I want to do is cry.
17/08/2013 at 04:56
Oh R you do sound sad I can't answer if its pnd or not, your gp would be the best bet. But I know EVERYTHING is magnified x100 when you have a little baby to look afte and tiredness rears its head. I guess the H situation isn't helping your feelings. We're you rocky before this or do you feel it's a result of how you're feeling now?
17/08/2013 at 07:02
Hugs...sounds like lots of change happening in your life just now and that is probably a big contributing factor to how you're feeling. We moved when O was 15wks and between packing and being on my own with a tiny baby (who was sufering from extreme colic) I didn't have much time to focus on looking after me or doing anything else. If you and H have been having difficulties too (we've been there and are still working at things) then that'll only make things appear worse. In my experience a baby (however much loved and wanted) changes the dynamics of a relationship...try and make time for you two where you can.
I would say get to see a doctor if at all concerned, but to me it sounds like normal life changes etc rather than pnd. Here for you if you want to chat anytime...I've been here and it's tough. Also on fb group if you want to seek me out xx
17/08/2013 at 07:13
I was diagnosed pnd when D was 9mths old and I returned to work. I wrote exactly how I felt down and gave it to gp. Could you do the same? Definitely speak to someone. Having pnd doesn't always mean you need to start medication but just telling someone how you feel can really help.
Hugs RKB x
17/08/2013 at 07:25
Sorry you're feeling sad :-( I think if you feel like you need to speak to someone professional about it then contact your GP, you've got nothing to lose. Otherwise, lots of talking to family and friends (including us!). There's nothing wrong with admitting that you're struggling, you've got a lot going on, it doesn't mean that you have PND. Hugs xxx
17/08/2013 at 07:34
Sorry that you are feeling this way RKB. F is about the same age as W and I understand what you are going through but it is hard to detail it without turning this into a woe is me post so I will just say, make the most of your sleep while W is sleeping through and try and get out of the house as I find that sitting around makes me tired. I'm glad you and your H are willing to work things out, hopefully things will get easier between you once the newborn fog has lifted!
17/08/2013 at 09:08
Sending you hugs rkb... Just wanted to echo what working hard said.. Having something planned each day certainly helps me.. Even if it is just a long walk with the pram..or meeting a friend for a coffee...hope things get better for you once you have moved and settled...
17/08/2013 at 09:59
Oh honey i am so sorry to hear you are feeling so sad. I just scored high on the PND questionnaire but i am almost certain i dont have it. For me depression was like walking round in a dark fog day after day that just wouldnt lift but it does affect people in different ways. Definitely go to your GP and they will be able to help you. Do you get just a little time for just you? Just an hour at the shops or getting your hair cut or even a hot bath? Me time is so important xx
17/08/2013 at 10:47
Thanks Ladies. I'm sure it's just that i have a lot going on at the moment. We're moving in with my parents which i'm not looking forward to, but we're trying to save some money for a better place to live that will be ours and not a private let.
H and I were ok before we had W it's just been in the last 6 - 8 weeks that things just feel like they're not working any more. I got annoyed at him for the same things then as i do now, but i always told him that he'd need to be a bit more hands on with the housework when W arrived, and he hasn't been and it still gets left to me to do I know that the housework isn't important, but there is only so much rubbish i can live with...and our clothes don't magically wash themselves either. But like you all say, it's probably more to do with tiredness than anything else. H works a stupid pattern (11 out of 14 days. he works Monday - Friday and every 2nd Saturday and only gets every Sunday off) and we barely get any 'us' time because when he comes in, he takes over looking after W and i go and make dinner and tidy up a bit because W won't sleep for very long during the day, so it's hard to get anything completed. H has the car most days, and because of where i stay, it's hard to arrange to meet up with people as they all work during the week, or have moved to London! The only person that i can meet up with regularly is my older sister who, to be honest, isn't really that great company as she suffers from "depression" and is always going on about how she doesn't get half the attention that i get (You all know how your home turns into a fun fair when you've had a baby for the first few weeks) and generally makes me feel worse that i'm somehow favoured over her.
Me time consists of getting a hot cup of coffee while W sleeps for half an hour during the day. I don't even get a lie in as H doesn't get up with W on his 2 day weekend. I get annoyed about it, but then i feel bad for getting annoyed that he's not getting up because he's entitled to a lie in too, so i get up with him.
I actually feel like i'm being selfish if i even think about getting a little time to myself because H works all week, It's like he needs some time to relax at home too, which is more important that what i need - if that makes sense at all?
I think i might just be rambling now...
17/08/2013 at 10:48
So sorry you are feeling sad rkb. Thinking of you and here if you want to talk. Really glad you have said something, on here and to your H. Think whether or not it's pnd, you feel sad and that needs addressing, be it gp, talking to your sister or whatever you feel comfy with ATM. Sending lots of hugs xx
17/08/2013 at 11:05
I know what you mean about your H needing time to relax but you do too! I know how bloomin hard it is having a baby who thinks sleep is for wimps. I dont get much done either although she will *always* sleep in the sling and i can then get on. Might be worth considering getting one? Lots of hugs hun xx
17/08/2013 at 12:10
I've tried a sling, but he weighs over 15lb now and he doesn't sleep any longer in one. H is taking the lead with him today.... Granted the lazy boy didn't wake until ten to twelve! (W I mean!) so I'm going for a much needed shower!
18/08/2013 at 05:34
Sorry I can't really offer any advice but plenty hugs being sent your way xx
If you want any company just shout as I've got a car so can meet you if you aren't moving too far away x
18/08/2013 at 16:17
Same as TP RKB, you know I'm not too far from you. R starts back nursery this week in afternoons but could still meet you for an hour or so or in the morning x
18/08/2013 at 19:17
One thing that saved me in the early months was baby groups and making mummy friends. We are still good friends now the kids are 3 and meet up at least once a week. Even now on the days everyone is busy and its just me and M I feel lost! I def need that adult company.
Can you ask your H to let you have a lie in even one of the mornings on the weekends he's off both days and alternate on the other week's? You need your rest too.
Also, can you book yourself a massage or pedicure or something one evening when H will be home just to get some you time?
Hope the house move goes smoothly, it might actually help living with your parents as housework will be done between four of you instead if two, and you might be able to get anooccasional break once W is in bed if your parents dont mind listening out for him.I think adjusting to a family of three and realising what time you no longer get together is really really difficult, it was for me anyway (and still is sometimes as we don't have regular babysitters and have fallen into a rut)
Hope you can sort things out xx
18/08/2013 at 19:18
Also if you are still tired despite getting a good nights sleep it might be worth getting your iron levels checked xx
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