Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
04/04/2014 at 20:52
My H has gone out so I thought I'd watch 15,000 kids and counting. I'm now sat in tears - I just want to adopt them all :-(
04/04/2014 at 21:05
Nooooo, just put obem on and there's a lady with a poorly baby :-( I'm going to cry all through this too.
04/04/2014 at 21:28
Mama we're three weeks from panel to become adoptive parents and lasts nights show really hit home for us! My heart aches for the fact one day I will have to find the words to explain that their parents felt drink, drugs, abusive partners were more important than them. But I can promise that as an prospective adoptive parent I have been through hell and back to get to this point and we will love them, care for them, fight for them and give them the best life we possibly can. To us these children are wanted more than anything in the whole world. Whatever they have been through and whatever emotional issues they come with we are here waiting to pick up the pieces x
04/04/2014 at 21:57
Furmummy, you have just made me cry for the third time tonight! I can't even put into words what an amazing thing you are doing and the children that come to you will be very very lucky. good luck with your panel meeting and I hope your little ones come to you soon so they can get the love and stability they deserve x
04/04/2014 at 22:24
We felt the same watching it MamaD. I want to shake Emily and tell her that they only reason she can't be a mum is because of that hideous man she was with - I guess her immaturity made her oblivious to how awful he was. Felt so sorry for the social workers having to deal with him bombarding them with abuse :(
04/04/2014 at 22:28
I watched it overnight, made me cry, then watched it again this evening with hubby. Heartbreaking and anger-making in equal measure. Huge respect to the social workers too.
05/04/2014 at 06:52
I know! Why didn't any of the social workers tell her just to leave him. It's such a shame that she seems to believe that is a healthy normal relationship. It makes you wonder what kind of life she's had :-( I couldn't be a social worker for all the money in the world, it must be such a hard thing to do and to get all that abuse while doing it. The thing that broke my heart was when the one lady didn't turn up to say goodbye to her little boy and he was just sat there smiling at everyone totally oblivious to it all. He was such a gorgeous happy little thing - it's making me well up again just thinking about him. I hope he finds a wonderful adoptive family who give him everything he deserves.
05/04/2014 at 09:25
Mama D having been through the process and I've also worked with people in a legal capacity I can promise you she would have been told to leave him. He had criminal convictions and a violent temper towards her. As she hasn't left him to social workers she's unable to prioritise the needs of the baby above hers. The baby was taken at birth so the care plan would have been discussed during pregnancy. Unfortunately there's so many Emily's in the world.
05/04/2014 at 09:27
Baby's are snapped up! Up to the age of 18 months. After that children are much harder to place so all the babies would have easily found homes!
05/04/2014 at 09:38
The little girl with the glasses in the promo broke my heart too! She's just so desperate to be adopted and she was getting so enthusiastic when she wasps king at the parent books! The only blessing for the babies is they will only remember being with their adoptive parents but the older children will remember it all. Oh Furmummy, if only there were more like you! x
05/04/2014 at 10:03
We've only be recommended for approval up to the age of 2.5! But still we should make one or two little lives better! Until the government really pull their finger out and do more to encourage adoptive parents there's always going to be children like the kiddies in the promo! For example I have used there quarters of my yearly holiday allowance to do the appointments and training! I have had to take holiday for all appointments! I only get statutory adoption pay and not the 90% element. Then you spend months jumping through hoops while they look through your bank account, rummage through your house, expose you dogs to behaviourists, renovating your house to required level of social workers, first aid courses, parenting courses, interview your friends and family etc then you sit in front of a panel if 12 people to be interviewed, then that's ratified and then it all starts again with a child's social worker!
At the end of that though there's a little one who is desperately in need of a forever family! I'm taking a career break to be that mummy and hubby is changing his hours to be home more. It is the most stressful and frustrating process but the end result will be so so worth it!
05/04/2014 at 10:10
Furmummy - that's so extremely unfair that you aren't supported by time off to attend those things. Sorry to hear that.
I watched the adoption parties documentary twice and found that the saddest thing I have seen in a very long time.
Looking forward to hearing about your new arrival and how it's all going, it must be a very exciting/emotional time x
05/04/2014 at 10:23
Furmummy, that's terrible that you get no kind of leave or adoption pay. And everything you've been through - you really are amazing and I can just tell how much you want this. Your little ones will be so lucky to have you as their forever mummy x
05/04/2014 at 10:30
05/04/2014 at 10:41
I have frequently raised the topic of adoption since I met my husband. He really isn't keen to discuss it seriously because he sees it as a path fraught with heartache and uncertainty and - because we are lucky enough to be able to make a baby - thinks the straightforward option is to simply reproduce together. One of my best friends was also very serious about adopting after she had 2 children and was put off by the process and decided just to stick with the 2 she has. I think that's very sad and it can't possibly be in the best interests of the children looking for forever families. I really do hope that in years to come that's no longer the case and there might be far less children without a real family. It's just not fair.
05/04/2014 at 10:44
Counter we could have biological children but chose to adopt! Yes we are crazy haha!!
05/04/2014 at 10:51
It's not crazy furmummy, I understand. It's just not something my husband will consider, and we'd need to be on the same page, obviously! But it's wrong that it's so hard, I think it's fab you're doing it!!
05/04/2014 at 19:11
Furmummy my friend at work adopted a baby boy 5 years ago now. Watching what she went through and what she told me about the process my jaw was almost on the floor. Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased they take the time to check that the children are going to a good home and good parents but given you are trying to make a huge difference to these little ones lives and people who aren't suitable to be parents are free to reproduce at will, some of the process seemed so harsh to me.
On one of the house visits, she had accidentally left her makeup bag behind the taps at the sink in her ensuite (there's a mirrored cabinet above the sink that she kept it in) and she got such a hard time about it. They were telling her it was irresponsible and dangerous for a child etc. The bag was zipped closed and all makeup tubs in the bag were closed/sealed but she got marked down for it and had an extra follow up visit. Any child that was of age to reach behind the taps at the sink would be a fair age and for LO's it would be a danger alone to be wandering about in the bathroom alone so they would be supervised anyway.
All the interviews and interviewing her friends and family, she went through the ringer! She also had to confirm that she would be taking the full year adoption leave (my work are pretty good and it's more or less in line with the maternity leave, well for the mum!) and what hours she planned to return to work. I'll be going back close to full time and I also won't be taking the full year so on those terms I wouldn't meet their quality of a parent!
You and your H should be amazingly proud of yourselves for what your doing and the difference you will make to a little one somewhere, I really take my hat off to you. Please keep us updated on how things are going xx
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