Family Life & Relationships <
02/03/2018 at 15:45
We’ve been friends for years and although she is a very negative person and I’m pretty positive, we’ve got on well. I’ve been married for just under 10 years and she’s been married for a year. When we’d talked about each of us having kids it was always in a ‘sometime in the future’ way.
At the end of last year I got pregnant, DH and I are really excited. However since I told my friend she was a bit underwhelmed and made some odd comments. I then found out through a mutual friend that she’d been trying to conceive since her wedding. I had no idea they were trying and apparently she’s very upset as her cousin is also pregnant. They are very competitive with each other and I think she’s more upset her cousin ‘won’. (They did this with houses, engagements and their weddings so I’ve had to listen to the sulking/gloating numerous times)
I’m not really sure how to handle the situation. She’s obviously upset and doesn’t want to talk to me. Besides the initial conversation I haven’t brought up my pregnancy once. But she has and then makes little comments about how everyone is only talking about her cousins baby, she made a joke that I was making up the pregnancy etc. I’m walking on eggshells so as not to make it worse but I’m obviously not supposed to know so I feel awkward.
I feel bad for her that she’s obviously having a hard time. A little part of me is angry. She has no idea how long I tried to conceive. She hasn’t been trying for that long (my DH and I discussed that it could take a few years due to our age, we managed our expectations accordingly). Now when we’ve told mutual friends, one or two who knew, have said ‘great news but oh poor x’.
I have a history of being a doormat with friends so need some perspective. Am I being mean in my little pregnant bubble or is she behaving unreasonably?
02/03/2018 at 22:33
I think it is okay for people to sympathise with your friend as long as they are happy for you. You cannot spend your life walking on egg shells and any genuine friend would be happy for you! 😊.
Maybe try and involve her in your pregnancy, surely if you don't have children of your own your best friend having a baby is the next best thing 🙂
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