Family Life & Relationships <
22/03/2016 at 21:44
My fiancee and I are fresh(in both sense, he's 25 and I'm 21 soon)and we just got pregnant unplanned, as that goes right.
I'm approaching my 12th week and we haven't announced it to our families yet as we're waiting for the screening. We are happy about the baby of course BUT...
There is so much worrying me because I haven't told my family yet and it's going to be a shock because they don't even know I'm engaged!
And then all these mixed feelings. I mean everything seems to be up-side down since I found out. We aren't ready, as individuals nor as a couple and that's what scares me. I sometimes feel I can't count on him to do things right even tho he's trying. We talk a lot of course but I'm still very restless.
So far I've been feeling really moody and I'm always cheeky when I'm moody actually. And then I also noticed my sex drive went bit up and we have been pausing for first few weeks because I felt sick(didn't even know it was pregnancy). Now we have had sex every day since we started again but one day he just stopped the intercourse and it left me very confused.
I told him everything I felt about that and he said it was because of guests we're having next room and because of the room temperature or something.
I felt as he wasn't honest and stopped because he may have got repulsed by something all of the sudden and then I felt like I was putting pressure on him to"finish"every time we sleep together because of my ego or something, because later that day we had sex again and at moments it felt as he was trying not to dissapoint me again...
As he's in the office most of the day, I send him ideas about the baby and all that. Today he told me"Can we discuss that later? I'm working if you already didn't know that".
I felt as he is getting sick of my nagging and just waited to say something rude like that"with right".
I wanted this to be a happy pregnancy but I'm mostly alone with no one to share it with since I came to country where I don't know anyone than him, and he doesn't have some friends or takes me out as he just goes to work.
I'm sorry for the long post, I needed to vent
01/05/2016 at 23:54
Hi ! That is all normal my boyfriend and I have a two-and-a-half-year-old that was unplanned we were both in their early twenties when he was born. We were both nervous to tell our families because we did not even have our own place yet but happy to say even though they were in a bit of shock it was a happy occasion what's done is done and people tend to realize that quickly and they will want to love and share the joy of your child also I find men in general to not get as excited over baby things like we do maybe keep a list of ideas and things write them down as the day goes and then go over them with him on the weekends or something try not to make everything about the baby men like to feel your attention to where is having sex for us at least it decreased while I was pregnant which is normal they will survive.
02/05/2016 at 01:06
@Highhopes2 thanks for the reply!
I'm already 17 weeks now and have told my family just recently.
The ultrasound was beautiful and all the scans were completely in order 🙂
Family was happy and I feel relieved now. However, situation between us had gone rather strange. We don't have sex as often anymore. Actually it came down to once a week on average and it isn't even satisfying for either of us. I'm still attracted to him and he still touches me, but I feel like even tho all the tension has let go a bit, it also left us bit cold. We rarely lock lips and kiss like we used to, it's mostly cuddling and pecks now. Foreplay was"decreasing"over time to point where I don't even notice it anymore.
I'm bit lost in how to revive some passion between us...it seems like he's more focused on baby and work and I feel neglected, fearing this will continue. Even tho I told him that, he still doesn't seem to get it seriously. I don't know how to talk to him about intimacy and sex when he never goes deeper when I try to engage in convo bout bonding...
02/05/2016 at 01:31
I would say alot of that is normal we went through it as well. Just do your best to keep comunication open and hopefully as time goes on he will take you more serious. My son is 2 and a half now and I would say that we got back to normal when he turned about one and a half before that everything basically revolved around the baby but we are now getting back to us and trying to embrace our relationship slowly. It takes a lot of work and once baby gets here your life will very quickly change.
Your baby pictures are great!
02/05/2016 at 02:02
@Highhopes2 thanks again(and yeah I was in love with the baby when I saw it, I keep looking at the pictures ❤️) 🙂
I don't know is it the pregnancy but I feel needy-I want him around me and feel I want to be affectionate all the time! It just feels harsh when he doesn't feel the same. I don't know could it be because I also get a little lonely without family and friends around too.
My biggest fear is that love between us is going to disappear and just going to switch all to the baby(I'm not jealous of my own baby of course, I just think it would be sad)and never be the way it was before...
I guess I need to be patient 😔
02/05/2016 at 02:33
Pregnancy definitely can make u feel alitte extra needy. Hang in there!
02/05/2016 at 08:31
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