Family Life & Relationships <
11/04/2016 at 17:01
I do believe I may not be the only one. I have a baby which is due in a few months time and me and as part of my traditional background I don't just with my husband, I live with my inlaws. My mother in law I just cant seem to get on with even when I try to. Shes not an easy person to understand although I thought I was getting somewhere with her. I respect her only because she is my husbands mum. When she is angry or annoyed about thing which maybe I have done or made a mistake she stops talking to me and treats me like crap half of the time. Even my husband sees this. We have talked about moving out but because he is the main breadwinner in the family his family depend on him we cant afford to. His parents are pensioners. I work full time but will be leaving soon due to go on maternity soon and I don't know whether I will be coming back to work as we cant afford child care and his mum has refused to help which is fine I suppose (she is 70 so its only fair). I know once the baby here I will be so busy with the little one I may not even have time for her (in a nice way) but I dread her interference. My husband has talked to her about portioning the house so we can have our own space she refused (the house is half hers). My husband even mentioned about selling the house she refused that too and he did kick off... I feel so depressed and upset I just don't know what to do. Im worried about my baby. My husband is trying his best but I honestly feel like im just not good enough for the family although this is not the case. She even tells us what to do with our money how to spend etc.... then goes and says awful things about us to her daughter who is a mutual soul.
11/04/2016 at 23:36
Just move out and move on.
Shes unhelpful and by the sounds of it rude (it will never change - been there and experienced that for 10 years with my exboyfriends Mother) it's a game you shouldnt continue playing, it's unhealthy for you both, your child and inlaw family.
you and your Husband have tried compromise and to work things out, she's being awkwarD. Your starting a family - your and your Husbands focus needs to be on you and your baby.
if MIL wants things her way that's fine leave her to it. Plenty of pensioners manage just fine without family bank rolling them. In fact if she's left on her own she may get more state help if your in the uk
12/04/2016 at 09:59
Thank you... it is the way forward now.... better and beautiful things to worry about... im just very grateful I have a very supportive husband otherwise it gets very stressful... im just trying my best remain happy as I can. I do believe all works both way so its it should be give and take. Being a good person is more important to me then being a good daughter in law or wife... just mother in laws have these silly expectations I guess
12/04/2016 at 11:10
You are a good Daughter-in- law and wife, you have considered her and tried to find middle ground but it's just not working And there is nothing you can do.
Maybe if she will allow help her to budget her finances apply for any extra grants/financial help she could be entitled to. But now is about your family unit You your Husband and Baby
12/04/2016 at 13:40
Thank you... It is about my little unit now... I understand my husband (being the only son) feels strong about taking care of his parents and he still can if we had our own space. Since yesterday she is trying to get on with me but I think I have worked out its for her selfish reasons so that we don't end up converting the house into two flats or finding a suitable home for her and her husband and me and my family. The house we live is huge (she really doesn't want to sell the place). Either way of her efforts will make no difference as anytime soon she will become the person she has always been. I have tried for my husbands sake and tried to amend myself to cater for her and right now enough is enough I guess... Thanks... x
12/04/2016 at 19:13
Your exactly right, I hope you can get through it smoothly.
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