Family Life & Relationships <
24/05/2009 at 22:02
My wife seems to think its normal and OK to smack and scold my 5yr old daughter for accidently falling down outside and cutting herself.
Imagine a 5yr old little girl coming crying to her parents with a bad graze or cut on her knee thats bleeding and probably hurting like hell and her mum shouting at her, smacking her, treating the wound, and then stating shes angry with her and to go to her room and he mum refusing to talk to her.
Its really cutting me up, as I was raised to be loved and comforted when I hurt myself. Kids are kids and they do fall down and hurt themselves.
My wife says, 'you are going to be scarred and nobody will like you when you grow up'. I disagree completely.
Could you give me some opinions please people?
24/05/2009 at 22:44
i think that's very strange behaviour for a mum.. has she always been like that?
if my little boy was to come crying with a bad graze or cut, i'd check he was okay, kiss it better and try to joke him out of being upset.. there's certainly no reason to get cross with them for having an accident which is out of their control.
saying something negative like 'noone will like you when you grow up' is really nasty and completely unnecessary.. however cross i am with my children i would never say something like that.
25/05/2009 at 10:40
this is a really difficult one for you and you poor daugter,
this isnt normal or acceptable behaviour, children are clumsy, i have a 4yr old sister and theres not a day goes by where she doesnt have a new graze. i would never disipline my children for hurting themsleves, maybe explain if they did something dangerous and hurt themself that it was silly and not to do it again but id leave it until they were comforted and any cut/pain delt with, i think though the worst part is the no-one will ever like you, thats unecessary, thats something no child should hear.
Is there anyway you could get there first and deal with her, maybe comfort her but tell her to be careful to try and satisy your wife. I really have no idea how to approach this one other than to explain to your wife how much it distresses you and what she is doing is classed as abuse, it will severely dent the poor childs self esteem,
i really hope you can find a way to resolve this, best of luck x
25/05/2009 at 13:25
hello sam this must be awful for you,i really think that you need to speak to your wife.if my partner did this while i was there i would be worried how he discipline our son when i wasnt there.I mean what if this is just the start of things,who knows what goes on when your not around?you really had ought to speak to her because i would assume that your wife is shrinking your daughters confidence too.the way social services are today (well when they do their jobs properly)who knows what could happen if it doesnt stop or is let to go further.its not normal sam,when my boy falls over even tho hes only 14mths i calm him down give him a hug then take him back to where hes had the accident and explain (in the best way you can to a 14mth old!)that what hes done is dangerous.
she may just be fearful but this is by no means an ok way to act and in fact your wife is scarring your daughter emotionally and your daughter will grow up not liking your wife very much for it.
i hope you can sort something sam i'm sure there are people you can talk to about this if you have any problems
25/05/2009 at 21:43
Hey Sam,I have to agree with what's been said already i'm afraid,your wife is being unreasonable,and you need to stop this asap,god knows what effect this has had on your daughter already.
Can't imagine how you're feeling. Is there anyone in the family to talk to,and help you talk to your wife?
I'm afraid if my fella did that he'd be long gone. Seems very unusual for a mum,has she had a terrible childhood experience? Do you think she would benefit from councelling?
Hope things get sorted soon.
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