Family Life & Relationships <
11/06/2016 at 12:08
I no musterbaiting is normal for men and women but every day to porn? Now I have bought this up to my partner and months ago he promised he would stop,now don't get me wrong the musterbaitting don't bother me its the porn. I've sent him pictures/videos to use when I'm not around but his still looking on these sites and its not like I'm not about I could be working till 7pm and he'll do it while I'm working. But when I spoke to him he has no real answer apart from sorry and that he still Fancy's me.
Iv bought out fits asked what he likes even asked if i do anything wrong but I get is no all is top noch, his mentioned I don't come on to him enough but I worry his already sorted himself out so I can't really win, any advise? Thanks x
22/07/2016 at 05:34
Do you want him to be happy, or do you want to feel like you 'win'?
If he was a vegetarian and you loved meat, despite your differences in values and ideologies, do you feel like he would burst into tears and accuse you of having a personal failing, until you gave up and stopped eating meat to appease his distress? Some vegetarians do this, and some meat eaters too. In my experience, I have never seen that behaviour produce happiness for anybody. Nobody enjoys having their freedom of choice taken from them. And certainly nobody enjoys having their values criticised as incorrect.
If you're hoping to "change" him, it might be easier for you to find a different partner who holds the same views about masturbation as you do.
One thing even easier than finding a different partner is to learn to be more accepting of differences in opinion or methodology. Since he's your partner and you have hopes that he finds you attractive, I assume you want him to be happy. It is not his job to be responsible for providing you with flattery about your appearance by giving up how he chooses to do things. It is your job, unless you choose to hire a therapist, to figure out why you need someone else to prove to you that you are attractive and worthwhile.
Also, there are plenty of charmingly romantic old men who dearly love their shrivelled and ailing wives even though they don't look at all like women 50 years their junior. These men can still be perfectly rational in detecting that young female models and actresses can appear objectively closer to our society's "sexy" stereotype, yet they would still love and desire their partner only, white hair, wrinkles, scars and all. We all grow older towards that's image, why do we have to hope to appear permanently like young adults? If you want to be permanently 'beautiful', there is no advice which helps you find the fountain of youth. (Sorry, cosmetic companies) But it's possible to permanently feel beautiful if you are at peace with yourself.
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