Family Life & Relationships <
06/09/2015 at 17:57
Hi guys, urgently need advice on this situation.
I am pregnant and due this month and have been having a couple of issues with my boyfriends step mum and my unborn baby.
She can't have children herself and ever since she has found out im pregnant, she has seemed to have gotten very close to me. At first I just thought she was helping us out, for example helping us get our new house ready for the baby and helping me in general with chores considering how hard my pregnancy has been.
It has only been in the last month I have been finding her to be coming accross to much towards my unborn baby. She has decorated a room in her house for our baby and just assumes that the baby is going to stay round at a matter of being weeks old. She has bought a car seat, crib and all the essentials a baby needs for her house. She talks to me as if the baby is hers and shows her excitment towards how I am not breast feeding so she can feed my baby. I have even heard her slip up a couple of times when she speaks about my baby and reffereing the baby as hers; 'I can't wait to meet my baby'. They were also explaining to me how I should let them look after the baby so me and my boyfriend can go out on date nights and how it's a good idea for the newborn baby to be away from the mother from time to time so the baby isn't so clingy, this comment really annoyed me, a child needs their mum the most in the first year of there life!
I have spoken to my boyfriend about the inlaws behaviour and we are both clueless on what to do about the situation. I am happy for my boyfriends step mum and dad to be in the baby's life but I don't feel comftable about them taking over the parent role.
I am really frightened on how they will be when the baby is actually here and really wouldn't want to cause any trouble between my boyfriend and his family but this just doesn't seem right.
Am I over thinking things or am I right to start getting creeped out by her behaviour?
24/09/2015 at 17:20
If I were you I wouldn't be worried too much, my mum and mother in law habe been the same with both of my pregnancies. They're just excited and to be fair it is nice to have people there to have baby for you if you need some time with your partner. They'll never take over your role as parents, they'll just be well loved grandparents Xx
24/09/2015 at 19:38
I think she's just excited and doesn't mean to come across as anything other than that... Honesty is the best policy, though. Next time you are alone with her maybe just have a quiet word and say how much you've appreciated her helping, etc. but you're getting a little overwhelmed and once baby is here would like some time to bond and get used to being a mummy and that when you're ready you'll definitely be more than grateful for her help and babysitting duties lol.
My mum came home with me, OH and DS from hospital and let us sleep whilst she looked after him - she stayed in our house and I really appreciated being able to get a full night's sleep- I can never sleep in hospital lol. She also started having him and my eldest overnight at hers once a week from when he was around a week or so old. I broke down in tears through exhaustion lol and she offered- it's helped hugely as they have a great bond and he has no separation issues at all.. I agree that baby needs no one else apart from mummy but honestly, a break is so refreshing. For that one night I was able to sleep, shower and clean the house before returning back to chaos lol
I'm not necessarily saying this is the right thing for you but having a great support network will be good for you. It's down to you and your OH how much anyone else is involved in yours and your baby's life.
13/10/2015 at 06:22
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14/10/2015 at 12:31
Hi Hayleyxox. How are things going with you? Have you had your baby? And how are things with your boyfriend's stepmom now?
We've been thinking of you and wondering how you were getting along...
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