Family Life & Relationships <
07/09/2014 at 11:47
I am having a difficult time mentally and spiritually with the situation regarding my son. I am not sure if he is mine and its killing me inside because its started to affect me know.
Date of Intercourse: November 27,2005
Date of childs Birth: September 27 2006
Recorded Pregnancy Term: 38 Weeks
Actual Pregnancy Term: 45 weeks or 10 full months and 10 days into the 11 months
Weight of child: 2.7 kg No record of a Post term pregnancy.
I had to take 3 paternity test due to the fact that :
A: The first test made a mistake on my ethnicity. ( Then when I contact the lab to get my application as it stated my correct ethnicity , the MD gave me several copies with different paternal indexes and different ethnicity)
B. The took a private test with just me and my son. The nurse ensured my that the court would not obtain my results as it was a private test. But I later found out that my maintenance officer, called this nurse and she gave him my results with out me knowing or with my consent. ( This totally illegal)
The 3rd test came back positive and I haven't been able to investigate to find out if they did anything to tamper my results.
What makes things worse is I only met my son 3 times as I feel that the mother knows that this kid isnt mine and she fears that I get another paternity test done.
The reason I know this is because one day I convinced the mother if I can pick him up from school. ( His school was literally across the street from my house)
She promised this but they day I came to pick him up.. She sent him away to live with his Aunt who lives in Kimberly. ( I live in Cape Town)
So what I did was go to a social worker to get a parenting plan in place. The social worker set up appointments for the mother 4 times and she missed 4 appointments ( And she lives 5 minutes away from the social workers office)
The mother also stole her pregnancy profile from the hospital.
The reason why she did this was because initially when she told me that she was pregnant ( Around mid January 2006 when I came back from Holiday) she told me that her estimated due date was In Mid August which is congruent from the date I slept with her on November 27th 2005..
When I cam back from the US to follow up on the mothers date of birth.. she told me that he was Born on September 27th 2006.
At the time I didn't know anything about pregnancy so I started asking doctors to educate myself. They all told me that they do not know any practitioner that would let a woman go for over 42 weeks of pregnancy. I even asked her how long she was pregnant and she said 10 months..
They recommended me to go and get the pregnancy profile since what ever is documented on this profile will reveal how long her term was.
So I forced her to go to the hospital to retrieve it... and to my surprise..
In big numbers its stated that she only had a 38 week term. Meaning she had her LMP on January 4th 2006 ( Just count 38 weeks back from September 27th)
I only came back from Holiday around the 15th of January so when I was away my sperm decided to "chill" out for a couple months then conceive with her in Mid Jan . Or she slept with someone around the 8-12 of Jan.
Then when I asked her she how long her pregnancy was she changed back to 9 months..
What woman doesn't know how long they were pregnant for? And if she was pregnant 44 weeks it would have been a pretty painful term as the baby would not have weighed 2.7 kg
I have interviewed the maintenance officer ( Who no longer works there ironically) and questioned him on how he obtained my results from the secon
07/09/2014 at 15:54
07/09/2014 at 16:36
This is the thing. The first test WAS done the via the court. They have an appointed Laboratory called MDS ( Molecular Diagnostic Services) I contacted the MD (Dr. York) from this laboratory when I recieved my results back with the first mistake of my Ethnicity.
I asked him several times to give me the application where it states my ethnicity and kept and asking me to provide to him so he can "fix it". I told him that I was going to report him and this was when he sent several " Copies" of my results that not only had random ethnicity but also had different paternal indexes on each report.
This was when I jumped decided to get my own paternity test done at a private lab to ensure the courts are not involved.
But unfortunately my maintenance officer tracked my test down without my consent or a court order and got the results before I did in the mail!? It freaks me out how when I presented this to the court they kind of just " dismissed it" and look at the final results that says its 99 percent mine.
I have talked with a lawyer and he told its unfortunately but the courts only investigate my situation only if the results come out to be that the child is not mine.
So the next step we are going to take is talk with a specialized doctor who can explain to him if its possible for a woman to have intercourse on November 27,2005 and have birth on September 27,2006. I told him that she was only 38 weeks pregnant be he just needs to be sure if somehow the doctors can overlook something like this.
And then in the mean time I am going to see if the Hospital can request the mother to return the folder as it is government property . ( I didnt mentioned this but last November I told the mother that a subpeona was on the way in reference to the folder.. when she learned this she went to the judge and literally dropped my case/responsibilities.. Of course she told him that I was not being a good farther and how I dont want to pay support.. but for about 9 months I didnt hear from her I thought we ended this chapter.
But Last week as I went to pay my rent I noticed all of my funds were gone.. due to the fact that she went back to the court and told them how I was neglecting my monthly duties of maintenance and the court seized and liquidated my bank account)
So I personally do not trust anyone in the court system and firmly believe that there might be other fathers in the same situation.
Its just that I was the only one to have common sense to realize that something isnt right.
Ill keep you updated in the week as I am going to talk with the Maintenance officer to find out what she told him.
05/11/2014 at 06:37
Can I just ask as I'm a bit confused regardless of what you think may have been done to the tests in the process how many of them have come back positive out of the three? It seems as though even if another test proves correct there would be another reason as why you don't believe it?
I can see why you are frustrated though as you said they should not of received the results before you.
But I do hope you get this sorted.
06/11/2014 at 21:11
Ok just to be clear.. All 3 test came back positive. Its just that 2 out of the 3 had major mistakes on them and the other one was illegally obtained by my maintenance officer.
The last test seemed "ok" as I didnt find anything suspicious . ( They finally got it right lol)
Lets say we could speed things up and I took a 4th test and it came back positive again. I am just trying to think if I can finally a put this chapter to rest.
The answer is, I would accept that he is mine.. but I still would be bothered because I will never know how? It just doesnt make sense as there is no record or evidence of the mother getting pregnant on November 28 2005.. .. and there is a full is full evidence that points to when she fell pregnant in January. And then I would have to ignore all of the mistakes and illegal actions the court did to my dna test..And then lastly, I would have to ignore why the mother stole her pregnancy folder and why she is now saying that I slept with her in January 2006 but doesnt remember anything on how that happened.
Its kinda hard to ignore.. Even when I try to ignore it.. my gut feeling is telling me something is wrong.
Look at this..
I went to a Gynacologist to see if it was possible to have intercourse on November 28,2005.. that resulted in a birth on September 27 2006 when the term was a recorded 38 weeks.
This is what he said
Thanks for your email and I am sorry that I have only replied to it now. I have been incredibly busy at work and at last have an evening where I can catch up with my communications. When dating and calculating the delivery date of any pregnancy there are a number of methods that can be used, and one needs to be clear on how to perform the calculations in each of these methods. You have provided me with the following information: - Date of coitus 28 November 2005. (As you had only recently returned from America I assume that there had been no intercourse in the preceding 28 days at least). - That there were no further coital episodes following the episode on 28 November 2005 till April 2006. - Last menstrual period reported by Miss Rooi 4 January 2006. - Repeated verbal communication from Miss Rooi that expected delivery date was mid-August 2006 (I shall use 15 August 2006 for calculations as no specific date has been provided). - Actual date of delivery 27 September 2006. - Reported gestational age at delivery 38 weeks. (I do not know what method the hospital used to date the pregnancy; whether it was according to the last menstrual period reported or using an ultrasound scan to date the pregnancy. Usually, if the reported last menstrual period and an ultrasound both date the pregnancy within a 2 week range, then the last menstrual period is assumed as correct and this is used to date the pregnancy). I have performed the following calculations: 1) A term pregnancy can be calculated by adding 40 weeks to the date of the last menstrual period. Using 4 January 2006 as reported by Miss Rooi, the term date would have been 10 October 2006. As the infant was reported to have been delivered at 38 weeks, then this date would have been 27 September 2006. Thus, in my opinion, the last menstrual period date correlates with the delivery date, using the information provided. Given that conception usually happens two weeks after the last normal menstrual period, then my best estimate of the conception date would be 18 January 2006, given the last menstrual period was reported as 4 January 2006. Using the last menstrual period date as a reference, and having established that it correlates with the deliver
I would like to refer to this Danish study. Olesen et al conducted a cross-sectional study of birth registry data in Denmark between 1978 to 1993 in 2003 showing that the majority of post-term births occurred by 42 weeks (87%) while less than 1% of women gave birth at 44 weeks or later. In light of the findings of this study, pregnancy continuing beyond 44 weeks gestation can be considered very rare. With Miss Rooi being booked in New Somerset Hospital and assuming she attended regular antenatal visits: had the pregnancy gone beyond 40 weeks and 10 days, she would have been booked for an induction of labour for a prolonged pregnancy. This was not the case as she delivered spontaneously at 38 weeks gestation.
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